[She doesn't go far, at least! As soon as he rolls over, she pushes herself up with her good arm to just plop down directly onto his chest. Bony, but comfier than the sleeping bag on the ground, at least.]
I yelled at him until we went to the healers afterward, so it'll be okay. Why's Justice gotta be so... [She waves her good hand. You Know.]
[She huffs a quiet, humorless laugh through her nose.]
The bread knife. He had a lightsaber? [Nerd.
Anyway, at least Ken never challenged her to a duel. He'd been a handful for his own reasons, but he'd grown up. Something Goro it seems hasn't done yet. The hand rubbing her shoulder doesn't feel great, pulling at what's tight scar tissue after the healing, but it does help lessen some of the stiffness.
She sighs against his chest again.]
It was okay for a little bit, but I couldn't get my naginata around when he tackled me, so I used my knife. Things got... heated.
Ughhhh, [He reaches his arms up and out of the sleeping back to lay them flat on either side of them.] He's so extra. Yes, he had a lightsaber. Went with that white and red thing he wore when he was pretending to be the police department's darling. You saw it, with the epaulets.
[He closes his eyes, drawing in a breath and opening them as he exhales.] ...sorry, that's my fault. He got weirdly jealous that you left a mark, with Thanatos. [His hand reaches up, tapping the space just above her head to indicate the slice up his middle.]
Oh, it's your fault I sliced you open with Thanatos, so Goro thought he had to test how strong I was?
[C'mon, buddy, you can hear how stupid that sounds, right? She digs her chin into his chest and glances up at him.]
I pulled a knife on him. If it was a real fight, he'd be dead, but he kept pushing it even when I told him it was over. [She shudders briefly, closing her eyes at the memory of the way he'd tried to drag his own throat across the blade.] He didn't come to his senses until I broke his nose.
I tried to tell him that, I swear. He's-- he's fucked up, Kotone, that's how he does things.
Ow. [He nudges her chin away from the gash he's letting heal naturally and not having healers help with because he wants it to scar like a completely normal person, pouting slightly.] ...that. Sounds like Goro. I'll talk to him..., I'm sorry, he really... I don't think he understands how fucked up that is.
[It's way too much effort to try to wiggle her way up high enough to kiss him, so she just presses her lips to that spot on his chest before returning to where she'd been nudged and closing her eyes.]
No, I know. I'm not... responsible for the shit he pulls, I just. [He sounds so tired, and it permeates his tone and his body.] He's so much sicker of himself than any of us could ever be, I can't give up on being there so somebody is in his corner.
[So there's that, at least. It doesn't feel like the social link is broken, but it's hard to tell without Theo there to guide her. It wasn't even how feral he was as a fighter, not really, but something Akira says resonates with Goro's actions. The way he'd been challenging her to kill him, the way he'd reacted when she's screamed at him.
It's not the same as Shinji, but it's not totally different, either.]
Does he want to change, though? 'Cause it really didn't feel like he wanted to do anything other than keep acting the way he was.
[She wrinkles her nose, but nods against his chest as she fights the urge to sigh again. Did Akira max Goro's social link? Surely he must have, if he received Metatron. But Goro sounds like someone who's stuck before their final realization. Maybe it's supposed to be Akira's job to help him past it.
Eventually, she asks softly,] Does he want to die?
[And yes, they're talking about Goro, but in a very indirect way, it's a question about Shinji.]
[His breath catches, and he goes tense under her. He takes short, shallow breaths for a moment until a sharp, ugly crackle of laughter bubbles up out of his throat, and he splays his hand over his face to hide it.]
He's mad it didn't stick the first time, so probably, yeah. [Please don't bring up that he's shaking under you, Kotone.]
[She tightens her grip around him when he starts shaking, shuffling just that little bit closer as if somehow that could make it better. Really, she should just shut up, huh? And not tell anyone about the stuff that's bothering her. Maybe she'll talk to Dazai, later, but this is clearly upsetting Akira.]
Sorry. We don't have to talk about him.
[Her chest aches, but she won't push it. It's clearly still a raw wound.]
[He huffs out an ugly rush of air and shakes his head.]
No, he's a pain in my ass but now he's being a pain in your ass, too, so we should talk about it. [Seethe.] I'm just. He makes me mad and stupid. Stupider. [His hand tangles in her hair again.]
[...You know what, maybe Dazai is onto something. Gently, she butts her head against his hand in an almost catlike gesture. Petting Dazai's hair can help calm her down sometimes, so maybe it'll be the same for Akira? If nothing else, it'll mean it's her head getting pats for once.]
Tell me about him. [Neither a request nor an order, but a quiet invitation.]
[She's quiet for a long few seconds, trying to decide what she wants to say.]
We... talked about some stuff. I really upset him, I think. I know he's not mad at me, he drew this-- [from her pajamas' pocket, she pulls out a slightly-wrinkled sticky note that says thanks with a drawing of a little dog's head,] But it was... a lot.
The note's cause I gave him some truffles, but he didn't want to hang out. I used to be able to just, you know, pull him into things... I'd hoped this would work like that, but he really didn't want to.
[Probably to anyone else, it just looked like normal resting Shinji face, but she could tell he didn't want to get involved. It had hurt a lot, knowing that by revealing that he wasn't dead, he felt... lost? Confused? Withdrawn? She doesn't know. Dazai had said to give him time, but it's hard.]
Anyway, I was upset about that, and Ken-kun's here now, too, and then all the stuff with Goro happened and-- I'm tired, Akira.
[He curls his arm around her shoulders and resumes petting her hair.]
Sometimes... People are just not in a good place to be around people they care about. I'm sure he'll come around. In the meantime-- you're allowed to rest, too.
[She grumbles, a little disgruntled noise that sounds suspiciously like,] not into the afternoon though [before sighing against his chest and clinging to the note loosely in her hand.]
I should've refused his stupid duel. It sounded like it was important to him, though...
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[She doesn't go far, at least! As soon as he rolls over, she pushes herself up with her good arm to just plop down directly onto his chest. Bony, but comfier than the sleeping bag on the ground, at least.]
I yelled at him until we went to the healers afterward, so it'll be okay. Why's Justice gotta be so... [She waves her good hand. You Know.]
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The bread knife or the lightsaber? They're both stupid but for completely different reasons. [His hand finds her shoulder and rubs, gently.]
...troublesome, yeah. Hell if I know.
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The bread knife. He had a lightsaber? [Nerd.
Anyway, at least Ken never challenged her to a duel. He'd been a handful for his own reasons, but he'd grown up. Something Goro it seems hasn't done yet. The hand rubbing her shoulder doesn't feel great, pulling at what's tight scar tissue after the healing, but it does help lessen some of the stiffness.
She sighs against his chest again.]
It was okay for a little bit, but I couldn't get my naginata around when he tackled me, so I used my knife. Things got... heated.
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[He closes his eyes, drawing in a breath and opening them as he exhales.] ...sorry, that's my fault. He got weirdly jealous that you left a mark, with Thanatos. [His hand reaches up, tapping the space just above her head to indicate the slice up his middle.]
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[C'mon, buddy, you can hear how stupid that sounds, right? She digs her chin into his chest and glances up at him.]
I pulled a knife on him. If it was a real fight, he'd be dead, but he kept pushing it even when I told him it was over. [She shudders briefly, closing her eyes at the memory of the way he'd tried to drag his own throat across the blade.] He didn't come to his senses until I broke his nose.
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Ow. [He nudges her chin away from the gash he's letting heal naturally and not having healers help with because he wants it to scar like a completely normal person, pouting slightly.] ...that. Sounds like Goro. I'll talk to him..., I'm sorry, he really... I don't think he understands how fucked up that is.
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[It's way too much effort to try to wiggle her way up high enough to kiss him, so she just presses her lips to that spot on his chest before returning to where she'd been nudged and closing her eyes.]
It sucked, though.
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...yeah. I don't like yelling at him, either. It's. It's not really his fault, not completely.
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It's not yours, either. Don't start. I fought him, and I'll fight you too if I have to.
[She's joking, probably?? But also very serious, she will beat that into your head if she must.]
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[So there's that, at least. It doesn't feel like the social link is broken, but it's hard to tell without Theo there to guide her. It wasn't even how feral he was as a fighter, not really, but something Akira says resonates with Goro's actions. The way he'd been challenging her to kill him, the way he'd reacted when she's screamed at him.
It's not the same as Shinji, but it's not totally different, either.]
Does he want to change, though? 'Cause it really didn't feel like he wanted to do anything other than keep acting the way he was.
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I don't really want to think about it, because there's a pretty good chance he's afraid to.
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Eventually, she asks softly,] Does he want to die?
[And yes, they're talking about Goro, but in a very indirect way, it's a question about Shinji.]
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He's mad it didn't stick the first time, so probably, yeah. [Please don't bring up that he's shaking under you, Kotone.]
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Sorry. We don't have to talk about him.
[Her chest aches, but she won't push it. It's clearly still a raw wound.]
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No, he's a pain in my ass but now he's being a pain in your ass, too, so we should talk about it. [Seethe.] I'm just. He makes me mad and stupid. Stupider. [His hand tangles in her hair again.]
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Tell me about him. [Neither a request nor an order, but a quiet invitation.]
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You, first. If you saw the healers why's this still got you in bed?
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[Like, sure, Goro was the catalyst, but-]
Did you talk to Aragaki-senpai at all last night?
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...not really, I waved to him a couple times.
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We... talked about some stuff. I really upset him, I think. I know he's not mad at me, he drew this-- [from her pajamas' pocket, she pulls out a slightly-wrinkled sticky note that says thanks with a drawing of a little dog's head,] But it was... a lot.
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Why do you think he's upset, but you know he's not mad?
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[Probably to anyone else, it just looked like normal resting Shinji face, but she could tell he didn't want to get involved. It had hurt a lot, knowing that by revealing that he wasn't dead, he felt... lost? Confused? Withdrawn? She doesn't know. Dazai had said to give him time, but it's hard.]
Anyway, I was upset about that, and Ken-kun's here now, too, and then all the stuff with Goro happened and-- I'm tired, Akira.
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Sometimes... People are just not in a good place to be around people they care about. I'm sure he'll come around. In the meantime-- you're allowed to rest, too.
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I should've refused his stupid duel. It sounded like it was important to him, though...
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