(she can't always help him, though. unlike all of ada, she can't heal him, and quite frankly, considering the fact she can only heal should someone be pretty much knocking on heaven's door, he isn't feeling it. he can't blame her for the sado streak, if she has to get people so close to it before she turns them back into full health.)
For literally every woman in the world. She'd cut a man for disrespecting her in a single second. I've seen it happen!
[Most of the people she knows drink their respect-women juice. Except President Tanaka but like, she's pretty sure he didn't really respect anybody. And that guy who'd taken the pictures of her, but Junpei had set him straight pretty quickly.]
[Hmm... hopefully she doesn't ever need to do anything like that. She doesn't think she can deliver that kind of threat convincingly, anyway, so she just shrugs.]
Well, I'm glad she can take care of herself. So that's two other members of the ADA. Who else works with you?
Mmmmh, there are two kiddos. Kenji, who's fourteen, a little shorter than you, even. He's from this tiny rural place, they don't even use money, so he's a little eccentric! Ah, but he's cute. He's unfortunately very oblivious to everything, like he's never stepped on concrete before.
(like, ask suspects if they did it, and if they say they didn't, he wholeheartedly believes it. he's much like the heart of the organization, with his undying optimism, cute freckles, and... superhuman absurd strength...)
[Places that don't use money?? Then again, Dazai does dress like he's from almost a hundred years ago, so it's possible that he's actually from the past. Somehow she's never thought to ask. He just seems so modern!]
Are you nice to him, at least? What is he, a middle schooler? Or a first year?
[Does... does Kenji at least get to go to school...]
There are, apparently, I didn't know it myself. Tiny little towns where literally there are more cows than people, no shoes, and apparently, if you mess with the locals, you simply get tied up and thrown off a cliff. Rural kids are hardcore these days?
(and there's something he actually doesn't know, because it never occurred him to ask? or because it was never told to the audience? who knows...
also, please, kotone, he has an iPhone????)
Of course I'm nice to him! He's cute! And he could kill me with his pinky toe! Painfully!
(KOTONE, PLEASE!!!)
The other kiddo is Kyoka, also fourteen. Had a bit of a time, she's mostly all adjusted. She's a good kid, though. My mentee and her are super glued together, like little siblings, except he's not little. It's... Cute.
(and she also is a mafia kid. haha. his other mentee was Not Great To Her. oops. that one is on dazai, probably.)
[More cows than people and no shoes? The cows bit sounds okay, but she isn't sure how she feels about walking around without shoes. That sounds like a really good way to get hurt feet, she thinks?
Anyway you got games on your phone, old man?]
I'm surprised by how young everybody is at your agency. I thought it would be all adults like you.
So... there are five people in the ADA? Kunikida-san, Yosano-san, Kenji-kun, and Kyoka-san, and you?
[She counts off on her fingers as if to make sure she's got them all right. He's talked about other people, but these are the only ones with the ADA that he's mentioned today. And then Chuuya is Port Mafia, and the other two are... something...
It kind of makes her head spin! But she's trying.]
We're a little more than that. We're small, less than twenty people. Atsushi-kun, Tanizaki-kun, Rampo-san, our President, and our clerks. The end.
(good thing he didn't mention which ones are ability users. he'd hate to bring that up without rampo showing off just how intelligent he is. while dazai's great at deductions and psychology, ah, rampo? rampo is a beast. he's never wrong, ever, and he gives his ability, 'ultra deduction', all the credit.
if. well. it were an ability. some of us touched him mid-case without him noticing, and well, nothing was undone there. he's just that fucking smart.)
[SEES had been ten at its biggest -- eleven if she counts Ikutsuki (she doesn't), and even that sometimes had felt like a lot of people to keep track of. Making sure everyone was rested and available to go to Tartarus, keeping track of everyone's schedules, checking in on them, making sure they were doing well... if it had been much bigger, she might have had trouble.]
Well... if any of them come here, you'll introduce me, right? I'll try to keep an eye out for the ones you described, but that's a lot for me to remember.
Now it totally is! Tell me, how much ass would you like to kick! And how good are you at report writing! If I disappear and leave you with all mine to write, will you tattle?! All important questions, miss Shiomi, pivotal for our hiring process!!
Well, I was one of the top students in my class, so I'm really good at writing reports for school. I'd prefer not to fight anyone, but I can if I have to!
[She punches her fist into her open palm and points up into the air with a bright smile.]
If you disappear, I'll cry and beg Kunikida-san to help me with them.
[She doesn't know Kunikida, but if he's so rigorous about things being Correct, probably pretending to be sad and overwhelmed will get him to do it himself instead of her having to do it.]
Ah, so you want to speed up my death. Nothing I would like more than to be strangled by strong muscles from a math teacher.
(whether he is joking or not is up for interpretation. use your best judgement, but he does laugh a little at this - as if he could really easily hire someone like that. there's a test and all, after all. she'd be able to probably have even better control of her personas if she passed it.)
(he's definitely making her worse, but look at her, improving on those skills. there's quite a satisfied smile upon his lips as he takes her hand into his, as if he were to agree--
[Oh... that's a nice smile. She'd like to see it more often, if he'll allow it. She tilts her head, her own smile softening in return as she fiddles with the end of her braid. Dazai might have done some bad things in the past, and based on what he's said, she can't even say that he shouldn't be in jail, but she doesn't think he's a bad person as he is now. Just kind of annoying, and that's not a crime.]
Yeah. Saving people can make a lot of hard work worth it.
[Speaking from personal experience. She shifts a little and pulls out another cupcake, setting it atop his hands. You earned it, buddy! Positive reinforcement.]
(it'll be reserved for times like this, when he feels comfortable to be vulnerable, to peel just a little bit of his million masks off to show a glimpse of what's inside. loneliness, darkness, but the struggle and the will to find some light, even a little of it, so he can keep going himself. it'll never be enough, and he knows that for a fact - but it's something, and something often can be better than absolutely nothing.
it does turn into an expression of surprise when the cupcake appears on his hands, and he laughs, just a little bit.)
I know I'm super thin, but I'm full, I'm full! Let me save some for later.
(for chuuya. gogol. fyfy.)
... I can't. I got my hands full, even if it doesn't look like it. I need to keep my people from killing each other, literally, and cooperating, so I can't-- start anything myself, but I'll help when I can.
[She hums, not quite sure she understands. They're all part of different groups, aren't they? But considering what she knows of his relationship with Chuuya, she supposes that yeah, he would feel some sort of responsibility toward them.]
Well... even if you won't hire me for the agency, I'll help you where I can, too. If you'll let me.
[Even if it's not an official thing, that's just too bad. She's part of this nonsense now, and it would take a whole hell of a lot to dissuade her from following through. Maybe she can't help with his people specifically, but if they can work together to protect and save others, maybe that's enough.]
I am not the President! Besides, ah, you'd have to pass a test, and it's a whole thing in itself. You did say it, it's a lot of work, right?
(for one moment, he's trying to distract her from what she offered, as if he brushed past it, but -- that's too evil. she's a good kid, and he would like to do better. his wrists and forearms are still awfully sore, so reaching over the table to gently pat her on the head brings out a face from him, just furrowed brows in response, oof, ouch.)
Just don't tire yourself out, alright? There are plenty of other people who could use a Koto-chan. I can't steal you all to myself, it'd be just so unfair! So, even if I disappear, if I dig a deeper hole, take care of yourself and your people first, you can worry about me later, alright? Promise me?
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For literally every woman in the world. She'd cut a man for disrespecting her in a single second. I've seen it happen!
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[Most of the people she knows drink their respect-women juice. Except President Tanaka but like, she's pretty sure he didn't really respect anybody. And that guy who'd taken the pictures of her, but Junpei had set him straight pretty quickly.]
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(the hand that doesn't have a cigarette does a cutting motion, as if they were scissors.)
Nothing about her gives the slight sense of joking, and she isn't. I'm sure it doesn't repeat itself after that.
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[Hmm... hopefully she doesn't ever need to do anything like that. She doesn't think she can deliver that kind of threat convincingly, anyway, so she just shrugs.]
Well, I'm glad she can take care of herself. So that's two other members of the ADA. Who else works with you?
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(like, ask suspects if they did it, and if they say they didn't, he wholeheartedly believes it. he's much like the heart of the organization, with his undying optimism, cute freckles, and... superhuman absurd strength...)
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[Places that don't use money?? Then again, Dazai does dress like he's from almost a hundred years ago, so it's possible that he's actually from the past. Somehow she's never thought to ask. He just seems so modern!]
Are you nice to him, at least? What is he, a middle schooler? Or a first year?
[Does... does Kenji at least get to go to school...]
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(and there's something he actually doesn't know, because it never occurred him to ask? or because it was never told to the audience? who knows...
also, please, kotone, he has an iPhone????)
Of course I'm nice to him! He's cute! And he could kill me with his pinky toe! Painfully!
(KOTONE, PLEASE!!!)
The other kiddo is Kyoka, also fourteen. Had a bit of a time, she's mostly all adjusted. She's a good kid, though. My mentee and her are super glued together, like little siblings, except he's not little. It's... Cute.
(and she also is a mafia kid. haha. his other mentee was Not Great To Her. oops. that one is on dazai, probably.)
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[More cows than people and no shoes? The cows bit sounds okay, but she isn't sure how she feels about walking around without shoes. That sounds like a really good way to get hurt feet, she thinks?
Anyway you got games on your phone, old man?]
I'm surprised by how young everybody is at your agency. I thought it would be all adults like you.
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and a fyodor. he had that one too.)
Under 18, only these two. I think I've been there for... Two years or so? It hasn't been that long.
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[She counts off on her fingers as if to make sure she's got them all right. He's talked about other people, but these are the only ones with the ADA that he's mentioned today. And then Chuuya is Port Mafia, and the other two are... something...
It kind of makes her head spin! But she's trying.]
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(good thing he didn't mention which ones are ability users. he'd hate to bring that up without rampo showing off just how intelligent he is. while dazai's great at deductions and psychology, ah, rampo? rampo is a beast. he's never wrong, ever, and he gives his ability, 'ultra deduction', all the credit.
if. well. it were an ability. some of us touched him mid-case without him noticing, and well, nothing was undone there. he's just that fucking smart.)
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[SEES had been ten at its biggest -- eleven if she counts Ikutsuki (she doesn't), and even that sometimes had felt like a lot of people to keep track of. Making sure everyone was rested and available to go to Tartarus, keeping track of everyone's schedules, checking in on them, making sure they were doing well... if it had been much bigger, she might have had trouble.]
Well... if any of them come here, you'll introduce me, right? I'll try to keep an eye out for the ones you described, but that's a lot for me to remember.
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(although, well, other organizations are same sized or smaller, and able to give all of these so much more headache than needed.)
If they come, they'll ask about one another, certainly. You'll know. Are you trying to become a Detective too, miss Shiomi?
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Is this a job interview, Mister Dazai?
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(why does she humor him!!!!)
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[She punches her fist into her open palm and points up into the air with a bright smile.]
If you disappear, I'll cry and beg Kunikida-san to help me with them.
[She doesn't know Kunikida, but if he's so rigorous about things being Correct, probably pretending to be sad and overwhelmed will get him to do it himself instead of her having to do it.]
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(whether he is joking or not is up for interpretation. use your best judgement, but he does laugh a little at this - as if he could really easily hire someone like that. there's a test and all, after all. she'd be able to probably have even better control of her personas if she passed it.)
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[President Tanaka would be proud. She gives him her very best smile and props her chin in her hands in the most charming way she can think of.]
It's how I make sure you can't disappear and leave me behind again. I think that's what people call "leverage?"
[Are you... sure... you want her as a mentee. Are you making her Worse, Dazai?]
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and then he doesn't.)
Not how it works!
(INSUFFERABLE.)
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[She sticks her tongue out at him and laughs, squeezing his hand before pulling her own back.]
I don't think I'd want to work for your agency, Dazai-san. It sounds like a lot of work.
[Babysitting him not the least of it.]
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(gracefully, his hands set on top of one another on the table. the smile he gives is small, but genuine. a rarity, coming from him.)
... We save people, though. It's worth it.
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Yeah. Saving people can make a lot of hard work worth it.
[Speaking from personal experience. She shifts a little and pulls out another cupcake, setting it atop his hands. You earned it, buddy! Positive reinforcement.]
Are you going to start something like that here?
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it does turn into an expression of surprise when the cupcake appears on his hands, and he laughs, just a little bit.)
I know I'm super thin, but I'm full, I'm full! Let me save some for later.
(for chuuya. gogol. fyfy.)
... I can't. I got my hands full, even if it doesn't look like it. I need to keep my people from killing each other, literally, and cooperating, so I can't-- start anything myself, but I'll help when I can.
(he's a coward.)
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Well... even if you won't hire me for the agency, I'll help you where I can, too. If you'll let me.
[Even if it's not an official thing, that's just too bad. She's part of this nonsense now, and it would take a whole hell of a lot to dissuade her from following through. Maybe she can't help with his people specifically, but if they can work together to protect and save others, maybe that's enough.]
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(for one moment, he's trying to distract her from what she offered, as if he brushed past it, but -- that's too evil. she's a good kid, and he would like to do better. his wrists and forearms are still awfully sore, so reaching over the table to gently pat her on the head brings out a face from him, just furrowed brows in response, oof, ouch.)
Just don't tire yourself out, alright? There are plenty of other people who could use a Koto-chan. I can't steal you all to myself, it'd be just so unfair! So, even if I disappear, if I dig a deeper hole, take care of yourself and your people first, you can worry about me later, alright? Promise me?
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