[More cows than people and no shoes? The cows bit sounds okay, but she isn't sure how she feels about walking around without shoes. That sounds like a really good way to get hurt feet, she thinks?
Anyway you got games on your phone, old man?]
I'm surprised by how young everybody is at your agency. I thought it would be all adults like you.
So... there are five people in the ADA? Kunikida-san, Yosano-san, Kenji-kun, and Kyoka-san, and you?
[She counts off on her fingers as if to make sure she's got them all right. He's talked about other people, but these are the only ones with the ADA that he's mentioned today. And then Chuuya is Port Mafia, and the other two are... something...
It kind of makes her head spin! But she's trying.]
We're a little more than that. We're small, less than twenty people. Atsushi-kun, Tanizaki-kun, Rampo-san, our President, and our clerks. The end.
(good thing he didn't mention which ones are ability users. he'd hate to bring that up without rampo showing off just how intelligent he is. while dazai's great at deductions and psychology, ah, rampo? rampo is a beast. he's never wrong, ever, and he gives his ability, 'ultra deduction', all the credit.
if. well. it were an ability. some of us touched him mid-case without him noticing, and well, nothing was undone there. he's just that fucking smart.)
[SEES had been ten at its biggest -- eleven if she counts Ikutsuki (she doesn't), and even that sometimes had felt like a lot of people to keep track of. Making sure everyone was rested and available to go to Tartarus, keeping track of everyone's schedules, checking in on them, making sure they were doing well... if it had been much bigger, she might have had trouble.]
Well... if any of them come here, you'll introduce me, right? I'll try to keep an eye out for the ones you described, but that's a lot for me to remember.
Now it totally is! Tell me, how much ass would you like to kick! And how good are you at report writing! If I disappear and leave you with all mine to write, will you tattle?! All important questions, miss Shiomi, pivotal for our hiring process!!
Well, I was one of the top students in my class, so I'm really good at writing reports for school. I'd prefer not to fight anyone, but I can if I have to!
[She punches her fist into her open palm and points up into the air with a bright smile.]
If you disappear, I'll cry and beg Kunikida-san to help me with them.
[She doesn't know Kunikida, but if he's so rigorous about things being Correct, probably pretending to be sad and overwhelmed will get him to do it himself instead of her having to do it.]
Ah, so you want to speed up my death. Nothing I would like more than to be strangled by strong muscles from a math teacher.
(whether he is joking or not is up for interpretation. use your best judgement, but he does laugh a little at this - as if he could really easily hire someone like that. there's a test and all, after all. she'd be able to probably have even better control of her personas if she passed it.)
(he's definitely making her worse, but look at her, improving on those skills. there's quite a satisfied smile upon his lips as he takes her hand into his, as if he were to agree--
[Oh... that's a nice smile. She'd like to see it more often, if he'll allow it. She tilts her head, her own smile softening in return as she fiddles with the end of her braid. Dazai might have done some bad things in the past, and based on what he's said, she can't even say that he shouldn't be in jail, but she doesn't think he's a bad person as he is now. Just kind of annoying, and that's not a crime.]
Yeah. Saving people can make a lot of hard work worth it.
[Speaking from personal experience. She shifts a little and pulls out another cupcake, setting it atop his hands. You earned it, buddy! Positive reinforcement.]
(it'll be reserved for times like this, when he feels comfortable to be vulnerable, to peel just a little bit of his million masks off to show a glimpse of what's inside. loneliness, darkness, but the struggle and the will to find some light, even a little of it, so he can keep going himself. it'll never be enough, and he knows that for a fact - but it's something, and something often can be better than absolutely nothing.
it does turn into an expression of surprise when the cupcake appears on his hands, and he laughs, just a little bit.)
I know I'm super thin, but I'm full, I'm full! Let me save some for later.
(for chuuya. gogol. fyfy.)
... I can't. I got my hands full, even if it doesn't look like it. I need to keep my people from killing each other, literally, and cooperating, so I can't-- start anything myself, but I'll help when I can.
[She hums, not quite sure she understands. They're all part of different groups, aren't they? But considering what she knows of his relationship with Chuuya, she supposes that yeah, he would feel some sort of responsibility toward them.]
Well... even if you won't hire me for the agency, I'll help you where I can, too. If you'll let me.
[Even if it's not an official thing, that's just too bad. She's part of this nonsense now, and it would take a whole hell of a lot to dissuade her from following through. Maybe she can't help with his people specifically, but if they can work together to protect and save others, maybe that's enough.]
I am not the President! Besides, ah, you'd have to pass a test, and it's a whole thing in itself. You did say it, it's a lot of work, right?
(for one moment, he's trying to distract her from what she offered, as if he brushed past it, but -- that's too evil. she's a good kid, and he would like to do better. his wrists and forearms are still awfully sore, so reaching over the table to gently pat her on the head brings out a face from him, just furrowed brows in response, oof, ouch.)
Just don't tire yourself out, alright? There are plenty of other people who could use a Koto-chan. I can't steal you all to myself, it'd be just so unfair! So, even if I disappear, if I dig a deeper hole, take care of yourself and your people first, you can worry about me later, alright? Promise me?
[She lowers her head a little when he pats it, smiling a little in spite of herself. It's just such a nice gesture, reassuring in a way that she can't really put into words.
But she lifts her head and frowns back at him, shaking her head almost before he'd finished speaking.]
I can't make that promise, Dazai-san. You're one of my people, too.
[Also, like, she's tired all the time. If she stops helping people, it feels like she'll stop too long and there will be nothing left. No point.]
(the hand drops, but just a little, just to tuck a strand behind her ear, almost like he was trying to focus her attention for a moment or two. it's difficult, isn't it?)
I've been like this for a long time, you know this at this point. I'll deal with myself, so really, take care of yourself, and don't worry so much. I'm a bit of an outdoor cat! I come and go as I please.
(ugh, he hates saying that out loud, for fuck's sake.)
If you really need me to help you with something and I'm out or something did happen, you go to... Ugh, Chuuya. He'll take care of you like you're his own mentee. That's what you can do for me, it's all. Take care of you. You put a lot of responsibility on your shoulders, don't you? You can let your guard down with us.
[She does focus on him when he tucks her hair behind her ear, tilting her head a little in confusion. It's a very soft, familiar gesture that she hadn't been expecting from him, is all, even if his words don't really give her any consolation.]
It's okay if you go. [She reaches up and takes his hand in both of hers as if to impress her sincerity upon him. She means that, too; she'd be sad, of course, and she'd miss him. There are so many people who've touched her heart and left, either through their own desire or forces outside of their control. Some of them, she'd hoped she'd see again; others, she knew she never would. It's not that she's unaccustomed to loss.
But it's more complicated than that.]
I mean it. I won't stop you from leaving. But you can't ask me not to worry about you. That's not who I am, you know? Even if it's a big responsibility, I don't think I can not carry it.
(he can just listen for a while. he never needed the hands for her to show sincerity, genuine feelings when he can see it in every expression, touch it in every word. that's how dazai's always been. he can't fully comprehend it, it's a little too much for him.
and he squeezes her hand, as a way to reground her to the matter.)
Ah, I suppose it's a curse. Small, redheaded people not letting me just die!
(a joke, to lighten the mood.)
Ah, I did my job, didn't I? Please, just don't go too crazy, ok?
You'll just have to try harder to be unlikable, I guess!
[It's said with a smile, because boy howdy can he sometimes be really, really unlikable. But not enough to alienate her -- he waited too long to pull that kind of stupid stuff. They've already established a social link, after all!]
But I don't mind taking on a lot of responsibility. I'm pretty used to it!
["Being used to something" and "not minding something" are very different, kiddo!]
You can not mind, but it's not something good for you, you understand? Like I said. Let the once-very-responsible-children adults watch over you sometimes. We know better than anyone how much it sucks! Go be a kid!
(if only she knew what they'd probably give to not have had so much on their shoulders. if only. impossible, though, and sometimes, it is the way it is. all they can do is let them rest here, where they can take care of the ones who should be worrying about things pertaining to their age, not the weight of the whole world.)
[Is it not good for her? She's not so sure about that. Her hand goes to her heart, where her Personas are, and she hums quietly as she gives it thought. Sure, it did literally get her killed, but at the expense of saving the world. Also like, it had to be her. Having Pharos -- Ryoji -- Death -- sealed inside her for so long meant that maybe what she thinks is normal kid behavior just isn't.]
...What do you think I should do?
[And it's an honest question. You want her to take on fewer responsibilities? Tell her what she should do instead!]
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[More cows than people and no shoes? The cows bit sounds okay, but she isn't sure how she feels about walking around without shoes. That sounds like a really good way to get hurt feet, she thinks?
Anyway you got games on your phone, old man?]
I'm surprised by how young everybody is at your agency. I thought it would be all adults like you.
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and a fyodor. he had that one too.)
Under 18, only these two. I think I've been there for... Two years or so? It hasn't been that long.
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[She counts off on her fingers as if to make sure she's got them all right. He's talked about other people, but these are the only ones with the ADA that he's mentioned today. And then Chuuya is Port Mafia, and the other two are... something...
It kind of makes her head spin! But she's trying.]
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(good thing he didn't mention which ones are ability users. he'd hate to bring that up without rampo showing off just how intelligent he is. while dazai's great at deductions and psychology, ah, rampo? rampo is a beast. he's never wrong, ever, and he gives his ability, 'ultra deduction', all the credit.
if. well. it were an ability. some of us touched him mid-case without him noticing, and well, nothing was undone there. he's just that fucking smart.)
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[SEES had been ten at its biggest -- eleven if she counts Ikutsuki (she doesn't), and even that sometimes had felt like a lot of people to keep track of. Making sure everyone was rested and available to go to Tartarus, keeping track of everyone's schedules, checking in on them, making sure they were doing well... if it had been much bigger, she might have had trouble.]
Well... if any of them come here, you'll introduce me, right? I'll try to keep an eye out for the ones you described, but that's a lot for me to remember.
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(although, well, other organizations are same sized or smaller, and able to give all of these so much more headache than needed.)
If they come, they'll ask about one another, certainly. You'll know. Are you trying to become a Detective too, miss Shiomi?
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Is this a job interview, Mister Dazai?
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(why does she humor him!!!!)
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[She punches her fist into her open palm and points up into the air with a bright smile.]
If you disappear, I'll cry and beg Kunikida-san to help me with them.
[She doesn't know Kunikida, but if he's so rigorous about things being Correct, probably pretending to be sad and overwhelmed will get him to do it himself instead of her having to do it.]
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(whether he is joking or not is up for interpretation. use your best judgement, but he does laugh a little at this - as if he could really easily hire someone like that. there's a test and all, after all. she'd be able to probably have even better control of her personas if she passed it.)
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[President Tanaka would be proud. She gives him her very best smile and props her chin in her hands in the most charming way she can think of.]
It's how I make sure you can't disappear and leave me behind again. I think that's what people call "leverage?"
[Are you... sure... you want her as a mentee. Are you making her Worse, Dazai?]
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and then he doesn't.)
Not how it works!
(INSUFFERABLE.)
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[She sticks her tongue out at him and laughs, squeezing his hand before pulling her own back.]
I don't think I'd want to work for your agency, Dazai-san. It sounds like a lot of work.
[Babysitting him not the least of it.]
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(gracefully, his hands set on top of one another on the table. the smile he gives is small, but genuine. a rarity, coming from him.)
... We save people, though. It's worth it.
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Yeah. Saving people can make a lot of hard work worth it.
[Speaking from personal experience. She shifts a little and pulls out another cupcake, setting it atop his hands. You earned it, buddy! Positive reinforcement.]
Are you going to start something like that here?
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it does turn into an expression of surprise when the cupcake appears on his hands, and he laughs, just a little bit.)
I know I'm super thin, but I'm full, I'm full! Let me save some for later.
(for chuuya. gogol. fyfy.)
... I can't. I got my hands full, even if it doesn't look like it. I need to keep my people from killing each other, literally, and cooperating, so I can't-- start anything myself, but I'll help when I can.
(he's a coward.)
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Well... even if you won't hire me for the agency, I'll help you where I can, too. If you'll let me.
[Even if it's not an official thing, that's just too bad. She's part of this nonsense now, and it would take a whole hell of a lot to dissuade her from following through. Maybe she can't help with his people specifically, but if they can work together to protect and save others, maybe that's enough.]
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(for one moment, he's trying to distract her from what she offered, as if he brushed past it, but -- that's too evil. she's a good kid, and he would like to do better. his wrists and forearms are still awfully sore, so reaching over the table to gently pat her on the head brings out a face from him, just furrowed brows in response, oof, ouch.)
Just don't tire yourself out, alright? There are plenty of other people who could use a Koto-chan. I can't steal you all to myself, it'd be just so unfair! So, even if I disappear, if I dig a deeper hole, take care of yourself and your people first, you can worry about me later, alright? Promise me?
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[She lowers her head a little when he pats it, smiling a little in spite of herself. It's just such a nice gesture, reassuring in a way that she can't really put into words.
But she lifts her head and frowns back at him, shaking her head almost before he'd finished speaking.]
I can't make that promise, Dazai-san. You're one of my people, too.
[Also, like, she's tired all the time. If she stops helping people, it feels like she'll stop too long and there will be nothing left. No point.]
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(the hand drops, but just a little, just to tuck a strand behind her ear, almost like he was trying to focus her attention for a moment or two. it's difficult, isn't it?)
I've been like this for a long time, you know this at this point. I'll deal with myself, so really, take care of yourself, and don't worry so much. I'm a bit of an outdoor cat! I come and go as I please.
(ugh, he hates saying that out loud, for fuck's sake.)
If you really need me to help you with something and I'm out or something did happen, you go to... Ugh, Chuuya. He'll take care of you like you're his own mentee. That's what you can do for me, it's all. Take care of you. You put a lot of responsibility on your shoulders, don't you? You can let your guard down with us.
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It's okay if you go. [She reaches up and takes his hand in both of hers as if to impress her sincerity upon him. She means that, too; she'd be sad, of course, and she'd miss him. There are so many people who've touched her heart and left, either through their own desire or forces outside of their control. Some of them, she'd hoped she'd see again; others, she knew she never would. It's not that she's unaccustomed to loss.
But it's more complicated than that.]
I mean it. I won't stop you from leaving. But you can't ask me not to worry about you. That's not who I am, you know? Even if it's a big responsibility, I don't think I can not carry it.
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and he squeezes her hand, as a way to reground her to the matter.)
Ah, I suppose it's a curse. Small, redheaded people not letting me just die!
(a joke, to lighten the mood.)
Ah, I did my job, didn't I? Please, just don't go too crazy, ok?
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[It's said with a smile, because boy howdy can he sometimes be really, really unlikable. But not enough to alienate her -- he waited too long to pull that kind of stupid stuff. They've already established a social link, after all!]
But I don't mind taking on a lot of responsibility. I'm pretty used to it!
["Being used to something" and "not minding something" are very different, kiddo!]
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(if only she knew what they'd probably give to not have had so much on their shoulders. if only. impossible, though, and sometimes, it is the way it is. all they can do is let them rest here, where they can take care of the ones who should be worrying about things pertaining to their age, not the weight of the whole world.)
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...What do you think I should do?
[And it's an honest question. You want her to take on fewer responsibilities? Tell her what she should do instead!]
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