[Shrug! and a sip from her juice. That's the easy answer, and she could leave it at that, but, well... Goro's probably the only person who she'd be able to tell who wouldn't try to change her mind. Even Dazai had said he'd want her to come back with him, if it were possible. It's nice, to know people would still want her around, but even still...]
I didn't die 'cause we lost the battle, or I messed up and got killed, or anything like that. Nyx is unkillable. All that could be done is put something in the way to stop her.
[Her smile is wan, resigned, as she shrugs.]
That's me. "The Great Seal." That's what I'm supposed to be right now, a barrier between Nyx and... something. If there's no barrier, the whole world falls victim to Apathy Syndrome. I wanted to hang on until graduation, but...
[Another shrug as she looks into her juice glass and exhales a quiet sigh.]
Don't tell Aragaki-senpai. He doesn't know.
Edited (WOULDN'T try to change her mind smfh typos) 2023-07-02 13:35 (UTC)
[He's the last person to who'd try to change someone's else's mind or compromise their autonomy. Not when his own agenda is so important to him. He might not be able to understand Kotone's choices, but he respects them altogether.
Resting chin against his right arm he traces circles around the rim of his glass with his fingers. Ah, so another case of self-sacrificing hero. Not surprising, knowing her type. But the scenario she paints does fill in some gaps regarding her previous story .]
So, is there a danger for her to return now that you're here? Is that why you want to return?
[She sags back against the wall opposite, keeping her juice cupped in both hands as she shrugs.]
Ken-kun is from my future. It definitely sounds like I'm dead there, and Apathy Syndrome hasn't taken over the world. You and Akira are from my future too, and clearly it hasn't affected you guys, either. So...
[She holds up a hand, palm up, as if offering him her conclusion on a platter.]
Hmm.. [Another thoughtful hum. This truly is an interesting case. With him, Akira and Yoshizawa-san things have gone as they should have despite all of them coming from different timelines. But then again, Kotone's situation is very different from theirs, as they had already dealt with Yaldabaoth.]
Maybe Amada-kun is from alternative timeline? [It's said as a joke, but hey! Could be. They really need to learn more about how the timelines works.
Anyway, he takes another sip from his drink, reaching already the half-way. He's really growing used to the stark taste of alcohol here. It have something to do with the numbness that's spreading along his cheekbones.]
But if I were you I would've just allowed the world go down in flames.
[She just gives him a patient look. Maybe in the past, she'd have been annoyed, but now it's just classic Goro. Please don't make her head hurt with thoughts of alternate timelines, and also-]
I don't wanna burn the world my friends live in. We were all prepared to die trying to stop her, but I'm the one who had a piece of Nyx inside me for a decade. I don't think anyone else could seal her away.
[It's not fair, but -- she's also not afraid of dying. It feels like she never has been.]
And I don't think you'd let the world burn, either. Not while Akira's in it.
[You already gave your life for him once, buddy. C'mon.]
Anyway, he snorts to his glass and shakes his head.] I'm not that good of a person, Kotone. I'd definitely let the world burn. Let Akira deal with the aftermath.
[He's serious. Despite his whatever-feelings for Akira he still doesn't give a two shits about the world. If given a chance, he would burn everything down to ground -- himself with it.]
[Their situations aren't the same. Everyone would've fallen victim to Apathy Syndrome. Everyone would've become like a zombie. As much as Goro hates the world and most people in it, she can't imagine he'd really go through with it in that situation.
Taking another sip of her juice, she shrugs.]
There was an accident. It's kind of complicated, but when they tried to stop it the first time and split a bunch of the Shadows apart, there was an explosion. It killed my parents, and a piece of Death got lodged inside me, I guess. I was... seven, I think.
[Again, she just shrugs. It's not like it's difficult to talk about, emotionally speaking. It's just a pain to try to explain. Mitsuru or Aigis would be way better suited to it.]
Of course. I'd finally get that off my bucket list.
[Hahaha, isn't he just so funny! Granted, he doesn't know the details of the Apathy Syndrome and what all it entails but if it's anything like mental breakdowns? Yeah, he'd probably do it -- while also completely trusting Akira to be there to fight him. At least that's what he thinks at the moment.
Another sip and his gaze just becomes more intense. It's as if he can only focus on one thing at the time.]
You sound unsure. Aren't you more interested in your own life? [Especially when it involves such grand power as to be able to decide the fate of the world. If it wasn't him he'd get bottom of it. Just like he had when awakening to his current power.]
[What is it with boys and their posturing? She rolls her eyes. He really is just like Dazai and Chuuya. Morons.]
How well do you remember being seven? [There's a lot she couldn't remember about that night, actually; it had taken until facing Aigis and Ryoji and having the truth explained that she'd finally gotten the full picture. She just shakes her head, though.]
I had it explained to me a couple months ago, before the final battle. It's a long, complicated story. You don't really need all the details, but just trust me -- it's my responsibility to go back. I can't put that on anyone else.
He doesn't really register the eye roll, or at least doesn't comment on it. There's another amused laughter from him and he lowers his gaze at his glass, poking the slice of lime with his finger.]
I do remember those years quite well actually. My mother died around that time, too. [The comment is said rather casually, as if he was talking about lunch rather than a death of loved one. He shrugs again, licks the tip of his finger and looks back up to her.]
Now, that I can understand. There are things we all need to see through.
[Dead parents club, let's go. Haha, maybe that can be a literal club she makes -- not really, though. Goro, her, Ken, Shinji -- if it weren't for Akira and Fuuka, she'd guess that having at least one dead parent is a prerequisite for having a Persona.]
But anyway, that's my reason. [Shrug!] Promise me you won't tell Aragaki-senpai. I think... he won't take it well.
Don't be. That was her choice. [Despite everything he's gone through in his life he just can't muster any ill-feelings towards her. He sees the situation as it is, and that sometimes you only have two bad options to choose from. (..and who knows. maybe that's why he also feels disconnected from the life, but that's a route he doesn't want to travel through).
He flashes her a smile and raises his glass up to meet hers as in a mock toast]
Don't worry. I have no reason to break your trust.
She's not an idiot, she can read between the lines. No mention of his dad, and his mother chose that...? A few things are slotting into place, but she doesn't let it show on her face as she just hums and shrugs, clinking her glass of juice against his cocktail.]
Thanks, Goro. [Anyway,] ...You know, if the drink isn't good, I can make you something else.
[No mention of his father, indeed. Ever since getting an affirmation of Shido's fate from Akira he's been content with leaving that topic to be. The memory of that man is still sore and hurtful as his shadow still chases after him in the darkest parts of his mind. All things he did, what he became.. And for nothing.
Be glad Kotone that you don't have to deal with that mess.]
Hm? Oh no. It's rather good! [And to prove that he takes another drink from his glass. Look, he's almost finished with it, just don't mind the pink flush covering his cheeks.]
[She hums doubtfully, but he's a big boy, he can make his own choices. Just like she can make her own choice not to make him anything else with alcohol! She just pushes the bowl of pretzels a little closer to him.]
I'm glad you came to hang out with me, though. I was kinda worried when you texted me like that out of nowhere.
[At least it's not as bad as last time he got drunk. No one's been thrown into lake yet and no one's punching each other.
Akechi drowns the remnants of his drink in a one go, feeling the warm and nice buzz in his body along with slight tingling on his fingers and face. He places the glass carefully on the table and leans back on his hand, looking at her curiously.]
It's a serious subject. One that would probably make Akira sad if you talked to him about it, huh?
[If he won't munch on pretzels, she will! Love to snack, even if they're not sweet. Oh, but right, her job -- she takes the empty glass away, moving further down the bar to wash it and leave it to dry.]
[Sorry Kotone, he needs to goaded to eat some of the snacks -- like right now! Something clicks in his brain when he sees her nomming the pretzels, making him crave for the salty snacks. And once she picks up his glass and goes to wash it, he does indeed pick few snacks from the bowl.]
Hm? [He looks up at her, turning the pretzels in his fingers idly.]
He cried last time. [It might be unfair to bring that up with her without Akira's consent, but it's something that's buried deep within his mind. Akira crying so much and him helpless to do anything about it, knowing that his wish will only hurt the other in a long run.] He saw the scar I got from the bullet and started crying. So, no. I don't think I'll bring this up with him.
[Alright, getting the pretzels into his hand is a start, but they need to complete their journey into his mouth for it to be a true success. Anyway, luckily for Akira, she won't tell him or even judge him for it, considering she managed to cry a little during the fight with Goro -- not entirely Goro's fault, mind, but just as a result of a lot of other factors combined.
She just hums softly, drying her hands on the towel and venturing back over to replace the space where his cocktail had been with a glass of fruit juice instead.]
That's not a bad thing, I think. It means he cares.
[Guess he just has it in him to trigger tears in protags!
He exhales deep, shoulders slugging forward as he rests his forehead against his pretzel-free hand.]
No. That's bad for him. [He's pretty sure that there's an universal-rule warning you not to fall for your murderer. Or almost-murderer, whatever. Just like there's one about getting too close to your target. ]
Is everything alright between you and Aragaki-san? You seemed to be a bit tense at the farm.
[She frowns, stealing another handful of pretzels from the bowl and crunching them.]
It'll be okay. [Her lips quirk into a humorless smile, one that she thinks Goro will appreciate.] We talked about some serious stuff right before the party.
[Something Goro can probably surmise had something to do with death, considering her outburst during their fight -- why does everyone around me want to be dead. But in her pocket, she still has Shinjiro's hand-drawn sticky note as a reminder to herself to give him time. It's hard, it's really hard not to be able to be there for him, but... it'll be okay.]
Hmm. [He doesn't say anything to that, trusting her enough to not push the topic any further. Akechi had initially thought that she had meant Dazai with that remark, but he supposes Shinji could fit into it.]
He doesn't seem like the easiest person to get close to. [Pot, kettle. You know the drill. This time he actually pops the pretzels into his mouth, to keep him from answering right away to her question. He can feel prickling sensation in his guts and it's definitely not because of the alcohol.]
[Just pointing that out bluntly, because you don't get to call out Shinji without getting called out yourself, buddy.
But she lets him have time to think, taking a moment to check around the bar again. Still good! A few locals have left, leaving their payment on the table which she'll pick up eventually. She hums when he finally answers, tilting her head to study his face.]
[He just makes a face at her. Yeah.. He can't really argue against that.]
Because he couldn't stop it. His words not mine. [He crunches down on pretzel, eyes focusing on the bowl rather than at her.]
He has this damned need to help others, even at his own expense. He truly is a fool and there'll be a time when he will snap and break down. [pause.] Then you'll truly see if any of this was worth it.
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[Shrug! and a sip from her juice. That's the easy answer, and she could leave it at that, but, well... Goro's probably the only person who she'd be able to tell who wouldn't try to change her mind. Even Dazai had said he'd want her to come back with him, if it were possible. It's nice, to know people would still want her around, but even still...]
I didn't die 'cause we lost the battle, or I messed up and got killed, or anything like that. Nyx is unkillable. All that could be done is put something in the way to stop her.
[Her smile is wan, resigned, as she shrugs.]
That's me. "The Great Seal." That's what I'm supposed to be right now, a barrier between Nyx and... something. If there's no barrier, the whole world falls victim to Apathy Syndrome. I wanted to hang on until graduation, but...
[Another shrug as she looks into her juice glass and exhales a quiet sigh.]
Don't tell Aragaki-senpai. He doesn't know.
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Resting chin against his right arm he traces circles around the rim of his glass with his fingers. Ah, so another case of self-sacrificing hero. Not surprising, knowing her type. But the scenario she paints does fill in some gaps regarding her previous story .]
So, is there a danger for her to return now that you're here? Is that why you want to return?
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[She sags back against the wall opposite, keeping her juice cupped in both hands as she shrugs.]
Ken-kun is from my future. It definitely sounds like I'm dead there, and Apathy Syndrome hasn't taken over the world. You and Akira are from my future too, and clearly it hasn't affected you guys, either. So...
[She holds up a hand, palm up, as if offering him her conclusion on a platter.]
Something has to be holding her back.
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Maybe Amada-kun is from alternative timeline? [It's said as a joke, but hey! Could be. They really need to learn more about how the timelines works.
Anyway, he takes another sip from his drink, reaching already the half-way. He's really growing used to the stark taste of alcohol here. It have something to do with the numbness that's spreading along his cheekbones.]
But if I were you I would've just allowed the world go down in flames.
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I don't wanna burn the world my friends live in. We were all prepared to die trying to stop her, but I'm the one who had a piece of Nyx inside me for a decade. I don't think anyone else could seal her away.
[It's not fair, but -- she's also not afraid of dying. It feels like she never has been.]
And I don't think you'd let the world burn, either. Not while Akira's in it.
[You already gave your life for him once, buddy. C'mon.]
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Anyway, he snorts to his glass and shakes his head.] I'm not that good of a person, Kotone. I'd definitely let the world burn. Let Akira deal with the aftermath.
[He's serious. Despite his whatever-feelings for Akira he still doesn't give a two shits about the world. If given a chance, he would burn everything down to ground -- himself with it.]
How did you end up with the piece of Nyx?
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[Their situations aren't the same. Everyone would've fallen victim to Apathy Syndrome. Everyone would've become like a zombie. As much as Goro hates the world and most people in it, she can't imagine he'd really go through with it in that situation.
Taking another sip of her juice, she shrugs.]
There was an accident. It's kind of complicated, but when they tried to stop it the first time and split a bunch of the Shadows apart, there was an explosion. It killed my parents, and a piece of Death got lodged inside me, I guess. I was... seven, I think.
[Again, she just shrugs. It's not like it's difficult to talk about, emotionally speaking. It's just a pain to try to explain. Mitsuru or Aigis would be way better suited to it.]
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[Hahaha, isn't he just so funny! Granted, he doesn't know the details of the Apathy Syndrome and what all it entails but if it's anything like mental breakdowns? Yeah, he'd probably do it -- while also completely trusting Akira to be there to fight him. At least that's what he thinks at the moment.
Another sip and his gaze just becomes more intense. It's as if he can only focus on one thing at the time.]
You sound unsure. Aren't you more interested in your own life? [Especially when it involves such grand power as to be able to decide the fate of the world. If it wasn't him he'd get bottom of it. Just like he had when awakening to his current power.]
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How well do you remember being seven? [There's a lot she couldn't remember about that night, actually; it had taken until facing Aigis and Ryoji and having the truth explained that she'd finally gotten the full picture. She just shakes her head, though.]
I had it explained to me a couple months ago, before the final battle. It's a long, complicated story. You don't really need all the details, but just trust me -- it's my responsibility to go back. I can't put that on anyone else.
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He doesn't really register the eye roll, or at least doesn't comment on it. There's another amused laughter from him and he lowers his gaze at his glass, poking the slice of lime with his finger.]
I do remember those years quite well actually. My mother died around that time, too. [The comment is said rather casually, as if he was talking about lunch rather than a death of loved one. He shrugs again, licks the tip of his finger and looks back up to her.]
Now, that I can understand. There are things we all need to see through.
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[Dead parents club, let's go. Haha, maybe that can be a literal club she makes -- not really, though. Goro, her, Ken, Shinji -- if it weren't for Akira and Fuuka, she'd guess that having at least one dead parent is a prerequisite for having a Persona.]
But anyway, that's my reason. [Shrug!] Promise me you won't tell Aragaki-senpai. I think... he won't take it well.
[She'd said it already, but- it's important.]
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He flashes her a smile and raises his glass up to meet hers as in a mock toast]
Don't worry. I have no reason to break your trust.
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She's not an idiot, she can read between the lines. No mention of his dad, and his mother chose that...? A few things are slotting into place, but she doesn't let it show on her face as she just hums and shrugs, clinking her glass of juice against his cocktail.]
Thanks, Goro. [Anyway,] ...You know, if the drink isn't good, I can make you something else.
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Be glad Kotone that you don't have to deal with that mess.]
Hm? Oh no. It's rather good! [And to prove that he takes another drink from his glass. Look, he's almost finished with it, just don't mind the pink flush covering his cheeks.]
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I'm glad you came to hang out with me, though. I was kinda worried when you texted me like that out of nowhere.
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Akechi drowns the remnants of his drink in a one go, feeling the warm and nice buzz in his body along with slight tingling on his fingers and face. He places the glass carefully on the table and leans back on his hand, looking at her curiously.]
Hah.. Why's that?
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[If he won't munch on pretzels, she will! Love to snack, even if they're not sweet. Oh, but right, her job -- she takes the empty glass away, moving further down the bar to wash it and leave it to dry.]
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Hm? [He looks up at her, turning the pretzels in his fingers idly.]
He cried last time. [It might be unfair to bring that up with her without Akira's consent, but it's something that's buried deep within his mind. Akira crying so much and him helpless to do anything about it, knowing that his wish will only hurt the other in a long run.] He saw the scar I got from the bullet and started crying. So, no. I don't think I'll bring this up with him.
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She just hums softly, drying her hands on the towel and venturing back over to replace the space where his cocktail had been with a glass of fruit juice instead.]
That's not a bad thing, I think. It means he cares.
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He exhales deep, shoulders slugging forward as he rests his forehead against his pretzel-free hand.]
No. That's bad for him. [He's pretty sure that there's an universal-rule warning you not to fall for your murderer. Or almost-murderer, whatever. Just like there's one about getting too close to your target. ]
Is everything alright between you and Aragaki-san? You seemed to be a bit tense at the farm.
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It'll be okay. [Her lips quirk into a humorless smile, one that she thinks Goro will appreciate.] We talked about some serious stuff right before the party.
[Something Goro can probably surmise had something to do with death, considering her outburst during their fight -- why does everyone around me want to be dead. But in her pocket, she still has Shinjiro's hand-drawn sticky note as a reminder to herself to give him time. It's hard, it's really hard not to be able to be there for him, but... it'll be okay.]
Why's it bad for Akira to care?
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He doesn't seem like the easiest person to get close to. [Pot, kettle. You know the drill. This time he actually pops the pretzels into his mouth, to keep him from answering right away to her question. He can feel prickling sensation in his guts and it's definitely not because of the alcohol.]
Because it'll break him eventually.
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[Just pointing that out bluntly, because you don't get to call out Shinji without getting called out yourself, buddy.
But she lets him have time to think, taking a moment to check around the bar again. Still good! A few locals have left, leaving their payment on the table which she'll pick up eventually. She hums when he finally answers, tilting her head to study his face.]
'Cause you died?
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Because he couldn't stop it. His words not mine. [He crunches down on pretzel, eyes focusing on the bowl rather than at her.]
He has this damned need to help others, even at his own expense. He truly is a fool and there'll be a time when he will snap and break down. [pause.] Then you'll truly see if any of this was worth it.
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You died to save him and the others, right? That was your choice. How would you feel if he'd died to save you?
[She's pretty sure she knows the answer already, but is it something he's thought about?]
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