It's a serious subject. One that would probably make Akira sad if you talked to him about it, huh?
[If he won't munch on pretzels, she will! Love to snack, even if they're not sweet. Oh, but right, her job -- she takes the empty glass away, moving further down the bar to wash it and leave it to dry.]
[Sorry Kotone, he needs to goaded to eat some of the snacks -- like right now! Something clicks in his brain when he sees her nomming the pretzels, making him crave for the salty snacks. And once she picks up his glass and goes to wash it, he does indeed pick few snacks from the bowl.]
Hm? [He looks up at her, turning the pretzels in his fingers idly.]
He cried last time. [It might be unfair to bring that up with her without Akira's consent, but it's something that's buried deep within his mind. Akira crying so much and him helpless to do anything about it, knowing that his wish will only hurt the other in a long run.] He saw the scar I got from the bullet and started crying. So, no. I don't think I'll bring this up with him.
[Alright, getting the pretzels into his hand is a start, but they need to complete their journey into his mouth for it to be a true success. Anyway, luckily for Akira, she won't tell him or even judge him for it, considering she managed to cry a little during the fight with Goro -- not entirely Goro's fault, mind, but just as a result of a lot of other factors combined.
She just hums softly, drying her hands on the towel and venturing back over to replace the space where his cocktail had been with a glass of fruit juice instead.]
That's not a bad thing, I think. It means he cares.
[Guess he just has it in him to trigger tears in protags!
He exhales deep, shoulders slugging forward as he rests his forehead against his pretzel-free hand.]
No. That's bad for him. [He's pretty sure that there's an universal-rule warning you not to fall for your murderer. Or almost-murderer, whatever. Just like there's one about getting too close to your target. ]
Is everything alright between you and Aragaki-san? You seemed to be a bit tense at the farm.
[She frowns, stealing another handful of pretzels from the bowl and crunching them.]
It'll be okay. [Her lips quirk into a humorless smile, one that she thinks Goro will appreciate.] We talked about some serious stuff right before the party.
[Something Goro can probably surmise had something to do with death, considering her outburst during their fight -- why does everyone around me want to be dead. But in her pocket, she still has Shinjiro's hand-drawn sticky note as a reminder to herself to give him time. It's hard, it's really hard not to be able to be there for him, but... it'll be okay.]
Hmm. [He doesn't say anything to that, trusting her enough to not push the topic any further. Akechi had initially thought that she had meant Dazai with that remark, but he supposes Shinji could fit into it.]
He doesn't seem like the easiest person to get close to. [Pot, kettle. You know the drill. This time he actually pops the pretzels into his mouth, to keep him from answering right away to her question. He can feel prickling sensation in his guts and it's definitely not because of the alcohol.]
[Just pointing that out bluntly, because you don't get to call out Shinji without getting called out yourself, buddy.
But she lets him have time to think, taking a moment to check around the bar again. Still good! A few locals have left, leaving their payment on the table which she'll pick up eventually. She hums when he finally answers, tilting her head to study his face.]
[He just makes a face at her. Yeah.. He can't really argue against that.]
Because he couldn't stop it. His words not mine. [He crunches down on pretzel, eyes focusing on the bowl rather than at her.]
He has this damned need to help others, even at his own expense. He truly is a fool and there'll be a time when he will snap and break down. [pause.] Then you'll truly see if any of this was worth it.
[It's not something he's thought about. He doesn't doubt that Akira wouldn't try to pull off some heroic shit like that if a dire case presented itself. But there's no scenario in his mind where's he'd allow that to happen, he'd rather kill Akira himself than let him to do as stupid as that--]
No. I'd stop him before he'd get a chance. [He scoffs. That should be more than enough to tell about his feelings on the matter.,]
You know. It's your choice to die; you won't let anyone take that from you.
[She grabs a handful of pretzels again and crunches one as she figures out how she wants to phrase what she's thinking.]
But you seem to think that you can stop Akira from making his own choices, too, 'cause they're inconvenient for you. And before you say "it's for his own good" or anything like that, you're gonna have to look me in the eye and tell me that your death is for your own good.
[There's a brief flash of anger in his eyes, as the hot flare is threatening to rise within him. But he grits his teeth and leans back on his chair, catching himself before the feeling gets a hold of him.
It's alright. I's all because she doesn't know what happened with Shido. So, it's not fair to expect her to see the whole picture, or to understand why things had to end the way they did. So. He just looks at her, eyes weary and expression sour.]
Me staying alive wouldn't have made me much good either. [His voice is lower than intended. There was no future for him, alive or no. That's why he initially found it so easy to go along with his revenge -- there was nothing left for him to lose, so why not to make the Faustian deal with his shit of a father.]
Besides, it's different for us. I would hardly be the only one stopping Akira from committing such foolishness, even if his team is lacking. [For a group that claims to stick together no matter what they did seem to be rather trusting to let Akira go through with the whole interrogation scene. Another hot and uncomfortable spark lights in his gut, making him feel almost nauseous.] It wouldn't be any different from you stopping me to cut my throat with your knife.
Maybe, [she says again without flinching away from the anger in his eyes. Instead, she just meets them evenly. She doesn't know the whole story; it's Goro's story to tell, Akira had said, and when he's ready to tell her, he will. Maybe he'll never be ready, and that's okay, too.]
You didn't have a lot of plans for the future before you died, huh?
[With a roll of eyes Akechi just scoffs at that question. As if there was much for someone like him to look forward in life. Orphaned bastard child, son of a sex worker, straight from the foster care to society that wouldn't spare him a single thought, an utter disgrace to world. What else was there but destruction left for him.]
I had a plan. [One that would end up either in his or Shido's destruction.] I played a game and lost. Simple as that.
[Simple as that, huh? It doesn't sound simple, but alright, she won't push that part. His initial reaction told her everything she needed, anyway.]
Even if he cries, it's probably good to talk to Akira about it, [she says, resting back on her hands against the back of the bar.] 'Cause you don't know how or when we might go back. Maybe time's marching forward without you, and you'll wake up there in the same shape you are here.
Assuming we're not sentenced and imprisoned here forever, I guess.
[He now kinda wishes he hadn't drank his cocktail so eagerly, because he could really use one now. So he just pokes the rim of his mineral-water glass with his finger.
Well, at least it's unlikely that Akira will cry again. Last time the situation had been full of emotional vulnerability as they took step into unknown terrority. At least he hopes it won't happen again. He hated the hopeless feeling when watching the other come apart in front of him, eyes full of tears.]
If he does I'll just have to call you to take care of him. [He huffs out a forced chuckle and grabs the glass, bringing it to his lips.]
Who knows. Maybe we're all just waiting for Hell to make room for us.
[Her eyes sparkle a little bit, and she bites her tongue so she doesn't say oh, I'll take care of him alright, because that's hardly going to be helpful in this situation.]
Purgatory was my first thought, too. But everybody else isn't dead, so... [Shrug!]
If you had a second chance with Akira and the others, if it was your choice, would you take it?
[Thank you Kotone. This is not the best moment for him to grow suspicious of your relationship.
He wonders if she even realizes how big of a question that is. The Phantom Thieves had originally offered him a second chance, even willing to take him with them when going against Shido despite everything. Would he have wanted to take that opportunity? Yes. But then would he have?
It's almost the same question Akira had presented him before the sleepover trip to farm.]
Who can say. [AKA he doesn't want to answer.]
There's still a possibility that we all are dead, even those who don't think they are. [Shrug. It's a good as good theory as any.]
Besides I'm not entirely convinced we're not in someone else's cognitive world. The way locals act are suspicious enough.
[She just gives him a look. It's not even a good dodge, Goro! But as long as he's thinking about it, that's enough. He doesn't owe her any answers.]
I just think there'd be more signs if it were cognitive. Like... the Dark Hour was pretty obvious when it was happening. Your Metaverse was probably pretty obvious too, right?
[He knows it's not his best game, but at least it got her to drop the subject.]
Usually yes. We used a navigation app to get access to enter Metaverse. Although, there's been a case where it bled into real world without us noticing. [Looking at you Maruki. He honestly wouldn't put a fucked up idea of rehabilitation past that man ] But that is still a rather different compared to our current situation, seeing that people across different worlds have been summoned here.
However, I don't truly believe this is Metaverse as we don't have access to our Personas.
[Back to the pretzels! Please eat something, bud. She'd give him real food if she had it, but unfortunately it's a bar and she's not Akira who can magically whip up something from nothing. Snacks it is.]
Me and Akira were able to summon ours when that monster attacked town. I was able to summon mine a little while ago to heal someone who was almost dead, but other than that...
[She shakes her head and shrugs. Again, it's not the biggest loss to her. Sure, her Personas are part of her, but a lot of things that were a part of her have vanished and been reborn. They're still there in her soul, even if she can't fight with them, so that's enough.]
[Especially when it seems like everyone else has been able to retain their powers. With him, Akira and Yoshizawa Akechi can understand why their Personas stay out of reach -- if they truly are not in Metaverse. But with Kotone? He thinks it should be different but.]
Hmmm. Yes, something similar happened with me, too. [Although with him the summon had been incomplete. Only feeling the surge of power and red aura as the shadow of Loki appeared when he had faced Gogol in a rather.. overwhelming situation.]
The first time was when you got branded, right? Can you describe the second event in more detail, please?
[Said very simply. She is not getting into detail about that whole thing with Dazai having to be near death for her to heal him. Whatever Goro's and Dazai's tenuous relationship is right now, she's introducing that variable.]
Someone almost died in front of me, and there wasn't any time to get somebody else, so I just-- tried it. And it worked. I was able to summon Messiah and cast Salvation, but that was all.
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[If he won't munch on pretzels, she will! Love to snack, even if they're not sweet. Oh, but right, her job -- she takes the empty glass away, moving further down the bar to wash it and leave it to dry.]
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Hm? [He looks up at her, turning the pretzels in his fingers idly.]
He cried last time. [It might be unfair to bring that up with her without Akira's consent, but it's something that's buried deep within his mind. Akira crying so much and him helpless to do anything about it, knowing that his wish will only hurt the other in a long run.] He saw the scar I got from the bullet and started crying. So, no. I don't think I'll bring this up with him.
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She just hums softly, drying her hands on the towel and venturing back over to replace the space where his cocktail had been with a glass of fruit juice instead.]
That's not a bad thing, I think. It means he cares.
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He exhales deep, shoulders slugging forward as he rests his forehead against his pretzel-free hand.]
No. That's bad for him. [He's pretty sure that there's an universal-rule warning you not to fall for your murderer. Or almost-murderer, whatever. Just like there's one about getting too close to your target. ]
Is everything alright between you and Aragaki-san? You seemed to be a bit tense at the farm.
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It'll be okay. [Her lips quirk into a humorless smile, one that she thinks Goro will appreciate.] We talked about some serious stuff right before the party.
[Something Goro can probably surmise had something to do with death, considering her outburst during their fight -- why does everyone around me want to be dead. But in her pocket, she still has Shinjiro's hand-drawn sticky note as a reminder to herself to give him time. It's hard, it's really hard not to be able to be there for him, but... it'll be okay.]
Why's it bad for Akira to care?
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He doesn't seem like the easiest person to get close to. [Pot, kettle. You know the drill. This time he actually pops the pretzels into his mouth, to keep him from answering right away to her question. He can feel prickling sensation in his guts and it's definitely not because of the alcohol.]
Because it'll break him eventually.
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[Just pointing that out bluntly, because you don't get to call out Shinji without getting called out yourself, buddy.
But she lets him have time to think, taking a moment to check around the bar again. Still good! A few locals have left, leaving their payment on the table which she'll pick up eventually. She hums when he finally answers, tilting her head to study his face.]
'Cause you died?
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Because he couldn't stop it. His words not mine. [He crunches down on pretzel, eyes focusing on the bowl rather than at her.]
He has this damned need to help others, even at his own expense. He truly is a fool and there'll be a time when he will snap and break down. [pause.] Then you'll truly see if any of this was worth it.
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You died to save him and the others, right? That was your choice. How would you feel if he'd died to save you?
[She's pretty sure she knows the answer already, but is it something he's thought about?]
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No. I'd stop him before he'd get a chance. [He scoffs. That should be more than enough to tell about his feelings on the matter.,]
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[Life doesn't always work out that way, huh? Neither does death. If there's anything she's learned, it's that.]
How come you're the only one who gets to make choices? About your life and others?
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What do you mean?
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[She grabs a handful of pretzels again and crunches one as she figures out how she wants to phrase what she's thinking.]
But you seem to think that you can stop Akira from making his own choices, too, 'cause they're inconvenient for you. And before you say "it's for his own good" or anything like that, you're gonna have to look me in the eye and tell me that your death is for your own good.
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It's alright. I's all because she doesn't know what happened with Shido. So, it's not fair to expect her to see the whole picture, or to understand why things had to end the way they did. So. He just looks at her, eyes weary and expression sour.]
Me staying alive wouldn't have made me much good either. [His voice is lower than intended. There was no future for him, alive or no. That's why he initially found it so easy to go along with his revenge -- there was nothing left for him to lose, so why not to make the Faustian deal with his shit of a father.]
Besides, it's different for us. I would hardly be the only one stopping Akira from committing such foolishness, even if his team is lacking. [For a group that claims to stick together no matter what they did seem to be rather trusting to let Akira go through with the whole interrogation scene. Another hot and uncomfortable spark lights in his gut, making him feel almost nauseous.] It wouldn't be any different from you stopping me to cut my throat with your knife.
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You didn't have a lot of plans for the future before you died, huh?
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I had a plan. [One that would end up either in his or Shido's destruction.] I played a game and lost. Simple as that.
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Even if he cries, it's probably good to talk to Akira about it, [she says, resting back on her hands against the back of the bar.] 'Cause you don't know how or when we might go back. Maybe time's marching forward without you, and you'll wake up there in the same shape you are here.
Assuming we're not sentenced and imprisoned here forever, I guess.
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Well, at least it's unlikely that Akira will cry again. Last time the situation had been full of emotional vulnerability as they took step into unknown terrority. At least he hopes it won't happen again. He hated the hopeless feeling when watching the other come apart in front of him, eyes full of tears.]
If he does I'll just have to call you to take care of him. [He huffs out a forced chuckle and grabs the glass, bringing it to his lips.]
Who knows. Maybe we're all just waiting for Hell to make room for us.
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Purgatory was my first thought, too. But everybody else isn't dead, so... [Shrug!]
If you had a second chance with Akira and the others, if it was your choice, would you take it?
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He wonders if she even realizes how big of a question that is. The Phantom Thieves had originally offered him a second chance, even willing to take him with them when going against Shido despite everything. Would he have wanted to take that opportunity? Yes. But then would he have?
It's almost the same question Akira had presented him before the sleepover trip to farm.]
Who can say. [AKA he doesn't want to answer.]
There's still a possibility that we all are dead, even those who don't think they are. [Shrug. It's a good as good theory as any.]
Besides I'm not entirely convinced we're not in someone else's cognitive world. The way locals act are suspicious enough.
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[She just gives him a look. It's not even a good dodge, Goro! But as long as he's thinking about it, that's enough. He doesn't owe her any answers.]
I just think there'd be more signs if it were cognitive. Like... the Dark Hour was pretty obvious when it was happening. Your Metaverse was probably pretty obvious too, right?
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Usually yes. We used a navigation app to get access to enter Metaverse. Although, there's been a case where it bled into real world without us noticing. [Looking at you Maruki. He honestly wouldn't put a fucked up idea of rehabilitation past that man ] But that is still a rather different compared to our current situation, seeing that people across different worlds have been summoned here.
However, I don't truly believe this is Metaverse as we don't have access to our Personas.
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[Back to the pretzels! Please eat something, bud. She'd give him real food if she had it, but unfortunately it's a bar and she's not Akira who can magically whip up something from nothing. Snacks it is.]
Me and Akira were able to summon ours when that monster attacked town. I was able to summon mine a little while ago to heal someone who was almost dead, but other than that...
[She shakes her head and shrugs. Again, it's not the biggest loss to her. Sure, her Personas are part of her, but a lot of things that were a part of her have vanished and been reborn. They're still there in her soul, even if she can't fight with them, so that's enough.]
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[Especially when it seems like everyone else has been able to retain their powers. With him, Akira and Yoshizawa Akechi can understand why their Personas stay out of reach -- if they truly are not in Metaverse. But with Kotone? He thinks it should be different but.]
Hmmm. Yes, something similar happened with me, too. [Although with him the summon had been incomplete. Only feeling the surge of power and red aura as the shadow of Loki appeared when he had faced Gogol in a rather.. overwhelming situation.]
The first time was when you got branded, right? Can you describe the second event in more detail, please?
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[Said very simply. She is not getting into detail about that whole thing with Dazai having to be near death for her to heal him. Whatever Goro's and Dazai's tenuous relationship is right now, she's introducing that variable.]
Someone almost died in front of me, and there wasn't any time to get somebody else, so I just-- tried it. And it worked. I was able to summon Messiah and cast Salvation, but that was all.
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