[Their situations aren't the same. Everyone would've fallen victim to Apathy Syndrome. Everyone would've become like a zombie. As much as Goro hates the world and most people in it, she can't imagine he'd really go through with it in that situation.
Taking another sip of her juice, she shrugs.]
There was an accident. It's kind of complicated, but when they tried to stop it the first time and split a bunch of the Shadows apart, there was an explosion. It killed my parents, and a piece of Death got lodged inside me, I guess. I was... seven, I think.
[Again, she just shrugs. It's not like it's difficult to talk about, emotionally speaking. It's just a pain to try to explain. Mitsuru or Aigis would be way better suited to it.]
Of course. I'd finally get that off my bucket list.
[Hahaha, isn't he just so funny! Granted, he doesn't know the details of the Apathy Syndrome and what all it entails but if it's anything like mental breakdowns? Yeah, he'd probably do it -- while also completely trusting Akira to be there to fight him. At least that's what he thinks at the moment.
Another sip and his gaze just becomes more intense. It's as if he can only focus on one thing at the time.]
You sound unsure. Aren't you more interested in your own life? [Especially when it involves such grand power as to be able to decide the fate of the world. If it wasn't him he'd get bottom of it. Just like he had when awakening to his current power.]
[What is it with boys and their posturing? She rolls her eyes. He really is just like Dazai and Chuuya. Morons.]
How well do you remember being seven? [There's a lot she couldn't remember about that night, actually; it had taken until facing Aigis and Ryoji and having the truth explained that she'd finally gotten the full picture. She just shakes her head, though.]
I had it explained to me a couple months ago, before the final battle. It's a long, complicated story. You don't really need all the details, but just trust me -- it's my responsibility to go back. I can't put that on anyone else.
He doesn't really register the eye roll, or at least doesn't comment on it. There's another amused laughter from him and he lowers his gaze at his glass, poking the slice of lime with his finger.]
I do remember those years quite well actually. My mother died around that time, too. [The comment is said rather casually, as if he was talking about lunch rather than a death of loved one. He shrugs again, licks the tip of his finger and looks back up to her.]
Now, that I can understand. There are things we all need to see through.
[Dead parents club, let's go. Haha, maybe that can be a literal club she makes -- not really, though. Goro, her, Ken, Shinji -- if it weren't for Akira and Fuuka, she'd guess that having at least one dead parent is a prerequisite for having a Persona.]
But anyway, that's my reason. [Shrug!] Promise me you won't tell Aragaki-senpai. I think... he won't take it well.
Don't be. That was her choice. [Despite everything he's gone through in his life he just can't muster any ill-feelings towards her. He sees the situation as it is, and that sometimes you only have two bad options to choose from. (..and who knows. maybe that's why he also feels disconnected from the life, but that's a route he doesn't want to travel through).
He flashes her a smile and raises his glass up to meet hers as in a mock toast]
Don't worry. I have no reason to break your trust.
She's not an idiot, she can read between the lines. No mention of his dad, and his mother chose that...? A few things are slotting into place, but she doesn't let it show on her face as she just hums and shrugs, clinking her glass of juice against his cocktail.]
Thanks, Goro. [Anyway,] ...You know, if the drink isn't good, I can make you something else.
[No mention of his father, indeed. Ever since getting an affirmation of Shido's fate from Akira he's been content with leaving that topic to be. The memory of that man is still sore and hurtful as his shadow still chases after him in the darkest parts of his mind. All things he did, what he became.. And for nothing.
Be glad Kotone that you don't have to deal with that mess.]
Hm? Oh no. It's rather good! [And to prove that he takes another drink from his glass. Look, he's almost finished with it, just don't mind the pink flush covering his cheeks.]
[She hums doubtfully, but he's a big boy, he can make his own choices. Just like she can make her own choice not to make him anything else with alcohol! She just pushes the bowl of pretzels a little closer to him.]
I'm glad you came to hang out with me, though. I was kinda worried when you texted me like that out of nowhere.
[At least it's not as bad as last time he got drunk. No one's been thrown into lake yet and no one's punching each other.
Akechi drowns the remnants of his drink in a one go, feeling the warm and nice buzz in his body along with slight tingling on his fingers and face. He places the glass carefully on the table and leans back on his hand, looking at her curiously.]
It's a serious subject. One that would probably make Akira sad if you talked to him about it, huh?
[If he won't munch on pretzels, she will! Love to snack, even if they're not sweet. Oh, but right, her job -- she takes the empty glass away, moving further down the bar to wash it and leave it to dry.]
[Sorry Kotone, he needs to goaded to eat some of the snacks -- like right now! Something clicks in his brain when he sees her nomming the pretzels, making him crave for the salty snacks. And once she picks up his glass and goes to wash it, he does indeed pick few snacks from the bowl.]
Hm? [He looks up at her, turning the pretzels in his fingers idly.]
He cried last time. [It might be unfair to bring that up with her without Akira's consent, but it's something that's buried deep within his mind. Akira crying so much and him helpless to do anything about it, knowing that his wish will only hurt the other in a long run.] He saw the scar I got from the bullet and started crying. So, no. I don't think I'll bring this up with him.
[Alright, getting the pretzels into his hand is a start, but they need to complete their journey into his mouth for it to be a true success. Anyway, luckily for Akira, she won't tell him or even judge him for it, considering she managed to cry a little during the fight with Goro -- not entirely Goro's fault, mind, but just as a result of a lot of other factors combined.
She just hums softly, drying her hands on the towel and venturing back over to replace the space where his cocktail had been with a glass of fruit juice instead.]
That's not a bad thing, I think. It means he cares.
[Guess he just has it in him to trigger tears in protags!
He exhales deep, shoulders slugging forward as he rests his forehead against his pretzel-free hand.]
No. That's bad for him. [He's pretty sure that there's an universal-rule warning you not to fall for your murderer. Or almost-murderer, whatever. Just like there's one about getting too close to your target. ]
Is everything alright between you and Aragaki-san? You seemed to be a bit tense at the farm.
[She frowns, stealing another handful of pretzels from the bowl and crunching them.]
It'll be okay. [Her lips quirk into a humorless smile, one that she thinks Goro will appreciate.] We talked about some serious stuff right before the party.
[Something Goro can probably surmise had something to do with death, considering her outburst during their fight -- why does everyone around me want to be dead. But in her pocket, she still has Shinjiro's hand-drawn sticky note as a reminder to herself to give him time. It's hard, it's really hard not to be able to be there for him, but... it'll be okay.]
Hmm. [He doesn't say anything to that, trusting her enough to not push the topic any further. Akechi had initially thought that she had meant Dazai with that remark, but he supposes Shinji could fit into it.]
He doesn't seem like the easiest person to get close to. [Pot, kettle. You know the drill. This time he actually pops the pretzels into his mouth, to keep him from answering right away to her question. He can feel prickling sensation in his guts and it's definitely not because of the alcohol.]
[Just pointing that out bluntly, because you don't get to call out Shinji without getting called out yourself, buddy.
But she lets him have time to think, taking a moment to check around the bar again. Still good! A few locals have left, leaving their payment on the table which she'll pick up eventually. She hums when he finally answers, tilting her head to study his face.]
[He just makes a face at her. Yeah.. He can't really argue against that.]
Because he couldn't stop it. His words not mine. [He crunches down on pretzel, eyes focusing on the bowl rather than at her.]
He has this damned need to help others, even at his own expense. He truly is a fool and there'll be a time when he will snap and break down. [pause.] Then you'll truly see if any of this was worth it.
[It's not something he's thought about. He doesn't doubt that Akira wouldn't try to pull off some heroic shit like that if a dire case presented itself. But there's no scenario in his mind where's he'd allow that to happen, he'd rather kill Akira himself than let him to do as stupid as that--]
No. I'd stop him before he'd get a chance. [He scoffs. That should be more than enough to tell about his feelings on the matter.,]
You know. It's your choice to die; you won't let anyone take that from you.
[She grabs a handful of pretzels again and crunches one as she figures out how she wants to phrase what she's thinking.]
But you seem to think that you can stop Akira from making his own choices, too, 'cause they're inconvenient for you. And before you say "it's for his own good" or anything like that, you're gonna have to look me in the eye and tell me that your death is for your own good.
[There's a brief flash of anger in his eyes, as the hot flare is threatening to rise within him. But he grits his teeth and leans back on his chair, catching himself before the feeling gets a hold of him.
It's alright. I's all because she doesn't know what happened with Shido. So, it's not fair to expect her to see the whole picture, or to understand why things had to end the way they did. So. He just looks at her, eyes weary and expression sour.]
Me staying alive wouldn't have made me much good either. [His voice is lower than intended. There was no future for him, alive or no. That's why he initially found it so easy to go along with his revenge -- there was nothing left for him to lose, so why not to make the Faustian deal with his shit of a father.]
Besides, it's different for us. I would hardly be the only one stopping Akira from committing such foolishness, even if his team is lacking. [For a group that claims to stick together no matter what they did seem to be rather trusting to let Akira go through with the whole interrogation scene. Another hot and uncomfortable spark lights in his gut, making him feel almost nauseous.] It wouldn't be any different from you stopping me to cut my throat with your knife.
Maybe, [she says again without flinching away from the anger in his eyes. Instead, she just meets them evenly. She doesn't know the whole story; it's Goro's story to tell, Akira had said, and when he's ready to tell her, he will. Maybe he'll never be ready, and that's okay, too.]
You didn't have a lot of plans for the future before you died, huh?
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[Their situations aren't the same. Everyone would've fallen victim to Apathy Syndrome. Everyone would've become like a zombie. As much as Goro hates the world and most people in it, she can't imagine he'd really go through with it in that situation.
Taking another sip of her juice, she shrugs.]
There was an accident. It's kind of complicated, but when they tried to stop it the first time and split a bunch of the Shadows apart, there was an explosion. It killed my parents, and a piece of Death got lodged inside me, I guess. I was... seven, I think.
[Again, she just shrugs. It's not like it's difficult to talk about, emotionally speaking. It's just a pain to try to explain. Mitsuru or Aigis would be way better suited to it.]
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[Hahaha, isn't he just so funny! Granted, he doesn't know the details of the Apathy Syndrome and what all it entails but if it's anything like mental breakdowns? Yeah, he'd probably do it -- while also completely trusting Akira to be there to fight him. At least that's what he thinks at the moment.
Another sip and his gaze just becomes more intense. It's as if he can only focus on one thing at the time.]
You sound unsure. Aren't you more interested in your own life? [Especially when it involves such grand power as to be able to decide the fate of the world. If it wasn't him he'd get bottom of it. Just like he had when awakening to his current power.]
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How well do you remember being seven? [There's a lot she couldn't remember about that night, actually; it had taken until facing Aigis and Ryoji and having the truth explained that she'd finally gotten the full picture. She just shakes her head, though.]
I had it explained to me a couple months ago, before the final battle. It's a long, complicated story. You don't really need all the details, but just trust me -- it's my responsibility to go back. I can't put that on anyone else.
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He doesn't really register the eye roll, or at least doesn't comment on it. There's another amused laughter from him and he lowers his gaze at his glass, poking the slice of lime with his finger.]
I do remember those years quite well actually. My mother died around that time, too. [The comment is said rather casually, as if he was talking about lunch rather than a death of loved one. He shrugs again, licks the tip of his finger and looks back up to her.]
Now, that I can understand. There are things we all need to see through.
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[Dead parents club, let's go. Haha, maybe that can be a literal club she makes -- not really, though. Goro, her, Ken, Shinji -- if it weren't for Akira and Fuuka, she'd guess that having at least one dead parent is a prerequisite for having a Persona.]
But anyway, that's my reason. [Shrug!] Promise me you won't tell Aragaki-senpai. I think... he won't take it well.
[She'd said it already, but- it's important.]
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He flashes her a smile and raises his glass up to meet hers as in a mock toast]
Don't worry. I have no reason to break your trust.
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She's not an idiot, she can read between the lines. No mention of his dad, and his mother chose that...? A few things are slotting into place, but she doesn't let it show on her face as she just hums and shrugs, clinking her glass of juice against his cocktail.]
Thanks, Goro. [Anyway,] ...You know, if the drink isn't good, I can make you something else.
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Be glad Kotone that you don't have to deal with that mess.]
Hm? Oh no. It's rather good! [And to prove that he takes another drink from his glass. Look, he's almost finished with it, just don't mind the pink flush covering his cheeks.]
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I'm glad you came to hang out with me, though. I was kinda worried when you texted me like that out of nowhere.
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Akechi drowns the remnants of his drink in a one go, feeling the warm and nice buzz in his body along with slight tingling on his fingers and face. He places the glass carefully on the table and leans back on his hand, looking at her curiously.]
Hah.. Why's that?
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[If he won't munch on pretzels, she will! Love to snack, even if they're not sweet. Oh, but right, her job -- she takes the empty glass away, moving further down the bar to wash it and leave it to dry.]
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Hm? [He looks up at her, turning the pretzels in his fingers idly.]
He cried last time. [It might be unfair to bring that up with her without Akira's consent, but it's something that's buried deep within his mind. Akira crying so much and him helpless to do anything about it, knowing that his wish will only hurt the other in a long run.] He saw the scar I got from the bullet and started crying. So, no. I don't think I'll bring this up with him.
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She just hums softly, drying her hands on the towel and venturing back over to replace the space where his cocktail had been with a glass of fruit juice instead.]
That's not a bad thing, I think. It means he cares.
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He exhales deep, shoulders slugging forward as he rests his forehead against his pretzel-free hand.]
No. That's bad for him. [He's pretty sure that there's an universal-rule warning you not to fall for your murderer. Or almost-murderer, whatever. Just like there's one about getting too close to your target. ]
Is everything alright between you and Aragaki-san? You seemed to be a bit tense at the farm.
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It'll be okay. [Her lips quirk into a humorless smile, one that she thinks Goro will appreciate.] We talked about some serious stuff right before the party.
[Something Goro can probably surmise had something to do with death, considering her outburst during their fight -- why does everyone around me want to be dead. But in her pocket, she still has Shinjiro's hand-drawn sticky note as a reminder to herself to give him time. It's hard, it's really hard not to be able to be there for him, but... it'll be okay.]
Why's it bad for Akira to care?
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He doesn't seem like the easiest person to get close to. [Pot, kettle. You know the drill. This time he actually pops the pretzels into his mouth, to keep him from answering right away to her question. He can feel prickling sensation in his guts and it's definitely not because of the alcohol.]
Because it'll break him eventually.
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[Just pointing that out bluntly, because you don't get to call out Shinji without getting called out yourself, buddy.
But she lets him have time to think, taking a moment to check around the bar again. Still good! A few locals have left, leaving their payment on the table which she'll pick up eventually. She hums when he finally answers, tilting her head to study his face.]
'Cause you died?
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Because he couldn't stop it. His words not mine. [He crunches down on pretzel, eyes focusing on the bowl rather than at her.]
He has this damned need to help others, even at his own expense. He truly is a fool and there'll be a time when he will snap and break down. [pause.] Then you'll truly see if any of this was worth it.
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You died to save him and the others, right? That was your choice. How would you feel if he'd died to save you?
[She's pretty sure she knows the answer already, but is it something he's thought about?]
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No. I'd stop him before he'd get a chance. [He scoffs. That should be more than enough to tell about his feelings on the matter.,]
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[Life doesn't always work out that way, huh? Neither does death. If there's anything she's learned, it's that.]
How come you're the only one who gets to make choices? About your life and others?
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What do you mean?
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[She grabs a handful of pretzels again and crunches one as she figures out how she wants to phrase what she's thinking.]
But you seem to think that you can stop Akira from making his own choices, too, 'cause they're inconvenient for you. And before you say "it's for his own good" or anything like that, you're gonna have to look me in the eye and tell me that your death is for your own good.
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It's alright. I's all because she doesn't know what happened with Shido. So, it's not fair to expect her to see the whole picture, or to understand why things had to end the way they did. So. He just looks at her, eyes weary and expression sour.]
Me staying alive wouldn't have made me much good either. [His voice is lower than intended. There was no future for him, alive or no. That's why he initially found it so easy to go along with his revenge -- there was nothing left for him to lose, so why not to make the Faustian deal with his shit of a father.]
Besides, it's different for us. I would hardly be the only one stopping Akira from committing such foolishness, even if his team is lacking. [For a group that claims to stick together no matter what they did seem to be rather trusting to let Akira go through with the whole interrogation scene. Another hot and uncomfortable spark lights in his gut, making him feel almost nauseous.] It wouldn't be any different from you stopping me to cut my throat with your knife.
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You didn't have a lot of plans for the future before you died, huh?
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