[Guess he should've known that she'd see right through him, huh? He's never been the best at hiding his feelings and with Kotone, it's even worse. She's really just in tune with how he feels and everything. Most of the time he loves that, knowing that she understands him so well (the feeling really is comforting), but it makes it hard for him to sometimes keep his thoughts to himself when she pokes at him. ...Well, they promised, right? To always tell each other everything. He has no reason to stop now, he doesn't want to keep things from her.
...He doesn't think Kotone will be too upset anyway, right? She... she said she'll always love him. Thoughts about her guiding strength and love when he talked about the Phoenix stuff helps a lot.
He stops walking, smiling at Kotone with a lopsided grin, one that is just a little strained, like he's not sure how to rightly express himself this time. It might be an odd look on Scott, since he always seems so certain about how he feels and how he expresses himself about it, especially with her.]
...This really doesn't mean anything, Kotone. I just wanted to get that out right now, because I want to be with you. [He raises his free hand to her cheek, cupping it gently as he looks just a little more sure of himself.] ...From the other timelines, from what I know from the other mutants, it seems like their Scott always ends up with Jean.
[If he didn't want to tell her now, she'd understand! Part of telling each other everything means that they don't have to do it immediately in the moment, but when they're ready. Probably, anyway.
She stops when he does, though, focusing on that slightly-strange smile before glancing up to his glasses with no small amount of concern. Whatever it is must be bothering him a lot, huh...? She almost feels bad for bringing it up when they were having such a nice walk on the beach.
...Oh. That explains his face, because now that he's said it, she's almost not sure what expression she should make herself. It had felt weird when Morph had told her that there was someone else Scott liked, but hearing that it's not just Morph's Scott, but other Scotts as well... something twinges painfully in the center of her chest, but she musters up a smile anyway.]
She's one of the mutants you go to school with, right? Is she nice?
[As Kotone smiles up at him, the hand that was cupping her cheek starts to move, until he's pressing his thumb against the corner of her smile, almost like he's trying to tug it downward a little. He knows she forcing that smile up at him right now; he likes to think he can tell by now. It's a hard thing to notice, especially if someone has just met her, but there's a subtle difference. One that he's hopefully learned after months of being with her.
Besides, she can't be 100% happy to hear something like this from him. He knows she wants to him be happy no matter what, because that is what he wants for her too, but it'd definitely hurt if either of them weren't part of that in the end. His own smile fades completely, even as he nods in response to her question.]
Yeah, she is.
[Jean is a mutant that goes to his school. She is nice.]
I liked her-- I still do, she's my friend. One of the first I made at Xavier's. [He shakes his head, as if trying to get what he really wants to say out. He knows Kotone will stay and listen to everything, but he doesn't want to keep her in suspense or make her feel this way for long.] But those feelings of wanting to be close to her... I don't feel them anymore.
[He lightly presses his thumb against her lips, eyes trying to meets hers through his ruby lens. Scott wants her to know how serious he is about this, that even though fate seems to want him and Jean together, he doesn't really care about that. He'll always care about Jean and want to help her no matter what, but when it comes to actually being together with someone... he's made his choice here.]
[He knows it's a fake smile, huh? But it doesn't feel right to frown, either, leaving her expression stuck somewhere in between, more neutral than she really feels. It doesn't make sense to feel sad or hurt; they both know that Scott has a life to return to after all of this. It's all just temporary, so why does her chest hurt so much when she thinks about Scott having a life without her? A life with someone else?
She should smile when he says Jean is his friend. That's good! She wants him to be happy and have friends and find love, even if it's without her. Her brows knit together as that train of thought continues, because in spite of the impossibility of it all, she wishes she could be a part of it, too.
Her expression settles, and she takes a deep breath, letting her hands come to rest on his chest as she gazes up at him.]
It'd be okay even if you did! [She tries for another smile, but this one feels even weaker than before, so she abandons the effort and stares down at her hands instead.] In the future, I mean. Even if you remember me when you go back, I don't want you to feel bad if you fall in love with someone else. [Her voice wavers a little bit, because as much as it's not a lie, she's not happy about the idea.] I wanna keep you all to myself, but that wouldn't be fair if I'm gone, so...
[Is it strange that he's glad that Kotone isn't smiling at him? It sounds weird in his head. He just never wants her to force something like that at him, especially if he's sort of the reason why she's feeling this way.
Both of them know that this is temporary, they both agreed to live life with each other to the fullest, but... it really hasn't made it much easier, huh? It hasn't for Scott, choosing to just push that inevitable ending to the back of his mind. It's hard, it always has been, but he just loves her so much. And seeing Kotone affected like this as well... for a long time he thought she had fully accepted it.
He can feel something tighten in his throat, in his chest, her shoes slipping from his hand as the slight waver in her voice nearly brings tears to his eyes. He... he's not going to cry now when she probably needs something from him, but what does he say? Promise something, despite the future? Maybe it will still mean a lot to her, besides he wants to say it too.
Scott lifts his free hand to one of hers that's on his chest, guiding it so that it's pressed against his heart.]
I want to be with you, Kotone. I am yours. [His voice is soft, but filled with emotion. Scott isn't going to be the one that thinks being just slightly possessive is bad. It makes him feel just a little more special and wanted. This is totally fine and healthy--]
You'll always be with me. [Even if... she's not physically there anymore. His breath hitches at the thought, hand curling in hers as he presses it more tightly against his chest.]
[She closes her eyes when he presses her hand against his heart, imagining that she can feel it beating beneath her palm. Her fingertips tighten, as if she could somehow reach inside his chest and claim his heart for her own. That's a weird thought to have, isn't it? When did she start feeling like this, like she has any right to keep him all to herself? It must have been slow and gradual enough that she hadn't realized until now just how much she wishes she could stay with him.
That's a dangerous thought, isn't it? It's going to make it even harder if somebody finds a way for them to get home. She has a responsibility to go back. She made her choice a long time ago. She's been in Aldrip longer than she'd been in Iwatodai, now, and maybe that's why it's so hard to think about going back. Dimly, she realizes she's started to shake a little bit, and in spite of it all, she forces a laugh, more for her own benefit than for his.]
I wanna be with you, too. You're the only one who makes me feel... [what, exactly? She doesn't quite know, and just trails off with a shrug like a period, the smile she gives him just a little watery. He just makes her feel so much.] But I mean it. If... if there's ever somebody else you like, it'll be okay.
[Despite what she's saying, her fingers squeeze just that little bit harder against his chest, and she nods more firmly, as if she's trying to convince herself.]
I want you to be happy. That's the most important thing. So promise, okay?
[Kotone's tremors are so light, probably unnoticeable from far, but as he continues to hold her close, Scott can acutely feel those subtle shakes against him. He wishes he can reassure her that everything will be fine in the end, that she can somehow come back from being the great seal and live a normal life, that he can save her, but he can't. He doesn't even know if going back to her world is possible.
Maybe he would've said that anyway, but he doesn't think Kotone wants that from him.
Right now, he only can keep her hand close to his chest, head tilting down as if trying to imagine her hand actually pressed against his heart. He just wants to soak in how warm she is because it's proof she's alive and with him. They have right now, they always have, even if that pain of losing her is present more than ever. Still, feeling, knowing how much she's affected herself makes something in his chest twist painfully, that ache not disappearing as he listens to her words. It throbs painfully with each heartbeat, his own grief filled smile matching hers.]
Feel alive? [He offers, voice cracked with his own feelings, always the more emotional one between them. If she's gotten this far, then he really stood no chance, despite trying so hard to remain strong. He knows that she means everything that she's saying right now, but it still really hurts, doesn't it? She's trying so hard for him...]
Kotone.
[Scott starts, but he doesn't promise her yet, brushing her cheek with his hand.]
[Maybe that's it. Maybe Scott gives her a whole new reason for living, just like her friends in Iwatodai had done for her. They'd given her reasons to live, not just exist, and Scott has shown her something even more powerful than that. He's really someone truly special, one of a kind, and even if this place kind of sucks, even if sometimes she wishes she could just rest, Scott keeps her going.
Closing her eyes, she rests her cheek against his palm, soaking in the warmth and affection behind the gesture. If she could stay with him forever, she would, but if there's anything her time at Gekkoukan had taught her, it's to cherish the time she has with every single person, because they could be gone in a heartbeat.
She opens her eyes and turns her head, just enough to press her lips against his palm before looking up at him. Even if there's a hint of a shine to her eyes, the faintest hint that she might want to cry, she still musters up a small smile.]
Promise you won't stop living your life even when I'm gone, okay?
[If only he could carve this moment out just for the two of them, unaffected by anything else. Just allow them to remain like this for as long as they want, enjoying each other's company and just reconfirming how much they mean to each other. It would be nice. For a moment, it's nice to think about, but he doesn't lose himself in that dream for long, because there's that hint of water behind her eyes that he can't pull his eyes from.
Keeping her hand close to his chest, Scott gently presses his forehead to hers, sucking in a slow shuddery breath, like he's trying to gather everything he has to promise something that he really doesn't want to promise. A part of him doesn't want to find anyone else if she's gone, maybe he'll try his hardest to resist falling in love again, but he knows Kotone doesn't want that for him. He wouldn't want that for her.
Slowly breathing out, he finally responds in voice so low that it is near inaudible.]
...I promise.
[He's not happy. But he promised now.]
Promise me that too. [There's a little more certainty in his voice this time, wanting her to say the same thing even if it hurts. Maybe it's not even fair for him to think that, because she... she doesn't have a future back home, but if he's gone from Aldrip and she's still here.
He wants Kotone to keep living her second chance in this world.] If I leave, that you will keep living too. That you'll try to find someone or something that makes you feel the s-same way. [It's hard thinking that he can be replaced, but she deserves someone to treat her like she's the most important person in the world. He thinks it's an easy thing to do.]
[Her brow furrows, as if she's only just now realizing how monumental a task she's set before him truly is. It's easy for her to rationalize away Scott falling in love back in his real world, because she won't be there. She'll never be there, so of course he'd have other options. But if he wants her to fall in love again here...?
Maybe she could do it. But it wouldn't be the same. She's had crushes on people before, both here and at home, but no one has made her feel like Scott has. Other people have made her happy, made her want to be with them, but what she has with Scott has transformed into something totally different, something she's almost too scared to put a proper name to. Is this what it means to really love one person, wholly and completely...?
She leans up and kisses him, softly and full of meaning, lingering there to give herself that extra time.] I'll try, [she murmurs finally, very quietly, letting go of his hand to instead let it rest against the back of his neck and keep him close against her.] But no one could ever be the same as you. You're... really special, Scott. Really, really special.
[She brushes her nose against his, seeking another kiss. If he's gone for too long, he might come back, but not remember her at all. He might come back, but be in love with Jean. She'd have to accept that, if that happened. If, if, if. For now, they have their time together, and that's what's most important.]
[In some extremely selfish way, he's glad that it's just as hard as it is for her as it is for him promising something like this. Kotone's answer is just as quiet as his and he gets it, because it's so so hard to imagine being with anyone else. Maybe it will be easier once one of them is gone, but he doesn't look forward to that moment, he really doesn't want it to happen ever.
Once she releases his hand, he wraps it around her waist, just wanting to establish all points of contact as they promise something so difficult. It's funny, even when he asked her out in October, he never imagined how close they'd get. Not like he was thinking that their dating would fall apart, but... he feels like what they have is really special now. Hearing her call him as such only deepens his attachment towards her, despite trying to tell each other to move on if something happens.]
You're really special too. You've made me feel more alive. ...I've never felt this way with anyone else.
[While certainly not dealing with the same struggles and weight as her, he really was just an angry and lonely teenager that only started to open up with the other mutants, then started to open up here when people reached out to him. She was really the first girl he met in person in this world and nothing can take that away. She's opened up his world in more ways than he thought, guided him to be better, and she just means so much to him.
As she brushes against his nose, Scott tilts his head to find her lips, dipping into a soft but still driven kiss, like he's reaffirming to himself her taste and touch and making sure he doesn't forget any of this.]
[She lets out a soft noise into the kiss, leaning up and into him to get as close as possible. There's something romantic about kissing on the beach like this, even if they're making a promise to date other people in the future. That it's so difficult for both of them has to mean something, right?
Maybe he'll end up with this Jean girl in the future. If she's kind to him, and takes care of him, and makes him happy, then that's really all she can hope for, isn't it? Kotone's hand tightens a bit against the back of his neck at the thought, though, because if she had her way, it would be her with him. For all the times he's said that he's hers and she's smiled or laughed about it, it really means something. For now, for the time they have, he is hers. Her fingernails bite gently into the back of his neck as if to prove it, even as she draws back from the kiss to inhale a slightly-ragged breath, her eyes still shining with deep emotion. Even if they have to part in the future--be honest. That's what they'd promised. And there's really only one thing to say.]
For as long as we're both here, though, you're mine, [she murmurs against his lips, fingertips stroking the back of his neck as she gazes up into his glasses.] You're the only one I want.
[Scott lightly gasps against her lips as he feels that digging sensation, something about it so intense despite the light pressure. He can't really recall her doing something like that before and his heart beats just a little faster because something about her hold feels almost possessive? It almost feels silly, like he's thinking too much about it, but as he looks at her eyes that are bright and intense with emotion, especially coming from her, maybe he's not wrong. Is this how Kotone feels when he says she's his? That he only wants her?? It's almost overwhelming.
His throat constricts, unable to pull away, not that he'd want to.
He's always trusted and loved Kotone and he knows that she feels the same towards him. He just didn't expect to see this raw emotion in her, reflecting how he feels about her and... Scott can't help but feel happy about it. That she wants him as much as he wants her. There's a tiny passing thought of this maybe not being healthy or whatever, but it dissipates instantly because he's always wanted to only be hers. This is okay, more than that to him. He'll gladly accept those feelings because he doesn't need anyone else, not in this way.
Scott's arm tightens around her waist, lightly biting her bottom lip for a moment before releasing it.]
I'm yours. [He repeats, voice lower, deeper from how affected he is, but there's that full promise in his voice. He is hers.] And you're mine. I only want you.
[Weren't they talking about moving on-- Scott doesn't know her.]
[She parts her lips when he tugs at hers, almost about to lean in to kiss him again. Her heart flutters in response to that deeper tone of his, a flush rising to her cheeks as she keeps his gaze. Even if she can't easily see his eyes, he can see hers, see how open and honest she is as she looks up at him.]
For as long as we're both here, [she repeats like a promise, sealing it with a kiss. He can't take this as an excuse to dwell on whatever may happen, or whatever may come. The inevitable will hurt them both so, so much, but at least they've talked about it. Scott's always good at making her talk, a thought that tugs a smile to her lips as she finally draws back and presses one more final kiss to his nose.]
So you'll still love me even if I dye my hair black? [she teases, in spite of the flush to her cheeks and the ache in her heart, because dwelling on this kind of serious stuff when they were having a nice walk on the beach is a lot. They said what needed to be said, and now she can tease him again, right? Her fingertips trail meaningless little patterns against the bare skin of his neck as she grins at him, still a little muted from the weight of it all, but genuine nonetheless.]
[He repeats with her, full certainty and devotion in his voice as he returns her kiss. Honestly, he'd like to promise that he's only hers forever, but... the future is uncertain. One day, he hopes he can actually really promise her something of that magnitude, but right now, this will have to be enough. It's easy to soak in what they do have right now, because she's alive and warm in his hold and being just as expressive as him. She's really comfortable enough to be open like this with him, huh? He... he can't be happier, at least it feels like it, especially when it's just the two of them carving out this moment together.
God he is such a sap--
But he smiles as they pull back, his only cheeks flushed to match hers. He knows she's changing the topic to something less serious once more, but right now, that's okay. Scott's hand strokes her cheek, lovingly caressing her face as he looks at her with a sort of attention that he'd never give to anyone else here. Often times, there is that dopey ass look he gets, but there's a deeper intensity this time, still reeling from their confessions and commitment to one another.]
Even if your hair is black. [He brushes some of her hair back, tucking a lone strand behind her ear.] Or even completely bald.
[She laughs aloud at the mental image of her being bald and turns her head, flicking him with her ponytail. It helps a little to bear that incredibly affectionate look he's giving her, the one that quickens the beat of her heart and deepens the flush on her cheeks. She'd meant it when she said there was no one else who'd ever looked at her like that, as if she were the most precious thing in the world. For just a few seconds, she lets herself soak it in, leaning into the hand on her cheek and pressing a tiny kiss to his palm.]
I couldn't wear my pins if I were bald! [Then it's back to jokes, and for good measure, her fingers trail up from the back of his neck to twine into his hair, purposely mussing it up just a little. At least he gets pulled into another kiss for his trouble, with her only pulling back to give him a slightly-mischievous grin. He can't look at her like that and not expect a playful,] Wanna go somewhere more private?
[He lightly protests when her ponytail smacks him in the face. There's, of course, no heat in his exclamation, Scott's expression turning more playful if just as affectionate still. There truly is no one else like her, no one as special to him. How can he possibly stop the way his heart flutters? Doesn't help that his cheeks brighten just a bit more when she kisses his palm-- kisses him, then further darkening when she makes that suggestion.
Oh, yeah, he'd love to go somewhere private.
He pulls away just slightly from her, his hand dropping down take hers, sliding their fingers together and remembering just the last second to grab her shoes.]
Let's go. [He wants to sound deep and crap, but really, Scott's still so flushed that he fails pretty badly on that.] Just wanna be somewhere with you, where no one can bother us.
[She squeezes his hand with another playful smile and turns on her heel to tug him after her in a not-quite run. It's funny, isn't it? How quickly they go from talking about serious things to things just being normal. It's that kind of thing that makes it so easy to talk to him, she thinks, that makes it so easy to be close to him. No matter what happens, she knows Scott will still want to be with her. After talking about this kind of inevitable end, it only makes sense to want to enjoy the time they have together right now, right?
Hopefully he's not expecting her to lead him back into town, though, because that's way too long of a walk. There's a little shack that rents surfboards and other beach gear nearby, though, tucked in against some larger rocks that gives it something of a suggestion of privacy. And like, the shop's closed for the day, so-! Kotone gives him another playfully devious smile over her shoulder, slowing her steps to lead him around the back of the shop.]
You don't mind the sand, right? [she teases, planting a hand in the center of his chest to try to walk him back up against the wall so she can get back to the important business of kissing him.]
[It's so easy to just follow her lead right now. Well, honestly, it's always easy to follow whatever Kotone wants to do. What, it usually ends up being fun or something that he doesn't mind doing in the first place! He definitely has self-respect, thank you very much. Like 100%. But right now... he really just wants to be with her, no matter where that place may be. Even if it's a small shack that's closed to the public for today, situated in an area that isn't too out in the open and-- oh.
Oh.
Even if he wanted to protest, those words die immediately in his throat, instead giving rise to those familiar flushed cheeks as she leads him around back. So, they're just going to... do stuff, out here? In a semi-public area? His heart races just a bit faster, but as he looks at the teasing smile on his girlfriend, there's no way he's going to stop her.]
I don't mind.
[His back settles against the wall as they sink into another familiar kiss, his arm wrapping around her while the other starts teasing up her thigh until it bumps into her holster and.
No Summers, don't bring up another serious conversation. You have your super hot and amazing girlfriend up against you, nearly pinning you to the wall. They talked a lot already and he just wants to have a good time with her. They both deserve it. But... he can't just ignore that pressing thought either, because it's important to him and he knows it is to her. It's just so depressing to interrupt this......]
K-Kotone, wait... [He mumbles against her lips, almost regretfully.]
[Look, what self-respecting boy wouldn't jump at the chance to kiss Kotone Shiomi in sort-of public? In her mind, it's secluded enough, and at this point, half the town has to know they're dating by now. It's not like it's some big secret (Scott's fault, she's pretty sure), so if anybody finds them, well... Scott will be way more embarrassed than she will be, so it's fine!
She leans up into him, fully intending to pin him up against the wall. A little noise of encouragement as his hand trails up her thigh, muscles flexing beneath his touch as she picks her foot up off the ground and presses her knee into his hip, fully expecting him to grab on and pull her closer. Except wait, what?]
What's wrong? [She hasn't moved against him, her voice a rushed whisper against his lips, but she doesn't interrupt. Talking is really important to him, as much as she wants to do literally anything else right now.]
[He can feel his soul leaving his body and yet Scott only has himself to blame. Why is he being responsible at all?? Why can't he just be a horny teenager with zero thoughts in his head?? He likes to think he can be like that, but... important... things. Even if it may kill the mood entirely. He can only hope that they can bounce back again after this, maybe he'll mention how hot she is?? Or how he enjoyed when she dug her hands into his neck??
Great backup plan, Summers.
But after struggling a few more seconds, he regretfully pulls his hand away from her thigh, instead letting it hover close to the Evoker that she always carries on her person.]
[She waits patiently for him to speak, the hand on his chest moving up to gently stroke his cheek. It's hard to resist kissing him like this when they're so close, but whatever's bothering him, it has to be important. Her thigh almost feels cold when he pulls his hand back, but he doesn't go far.
...Her Evoker?]
Sure? [she agrees almost immediately, though there's a clear question in the tone of her voice and the tilt of her head. Kotone allows herself one more kiss to Scott's lips before drawing her Evoker and pointing it at her temple. Normally she might step back and give herself space, but it's not like they're about to fight or something. It almost feels kind of intimate like this, and she takes Scott's hand in her free one to bring to her chest, holding it there like she always does when summoning.
A breath to settle Thanatos in front of her heart as if loading a bullet into a revolver's barrel, and then pulls the trigger. This close, the bright blue light has to be startling, wreathing her head for a moment as it's knocked sharply sideways with the recoil. Thanatos swirls into view behind her, a looming, imposing presence that stares sightlessly down at the two before him.]
[He's lucky that she's encouraging this, even though she has every right to pout at him for interrupting their little make out session. He'll make it up to her in just a bit, 100%. Show how much he appreciates and loves her, even if it's out in a semi-public area. Who cares if someone comes across them (he might perish a little)!! ...Well, assuming that Kotone still wants to after Serious Talk #2.
But he keeps his hand to her chest and call him a freak, but somehow, this feels even more intimate. It's like he's with her as she uses her powers and it feels really special to him? After all, she's summoning something that represents a part of her soul and he's standing right her, hand to her heart as if he can feel its beat as she brings out Thanatos. He's very familiar with how she summons Personas now, so he doesn't pull away or flinch when the Evoker goes off, keeping his hand there with hers. It's been a very long time since he first met Thanatos and almost died to his hand.
He doesn't really feel scary to him anymore, even though he objectively has an intimidating presence. But he's part of Kotone, part of her... and he fully wants to understand that. He's determined to, because she's so important to him. So, as he keeps close to Kotone, he looks up at Thanatos for a moment before focusing back on her.]
...Minato explained to me how Personas work for you. When you use the Evoker.
[Accepting death and everything. Scott knows he reacted badly to her telling him that she's dead back home. It's been a year since that moment, however, and he wants to show her that he's matured since then. He's not as emotional or angry as before, in fact, he's gotten a lot better repressing that feeling, shoving it back so that he can deal with stuff. It's a good thing.
He wants Kotone to feel comfortable talking about everything to him, even this.] That you've confronted and accepted death.
[...He'll always be sad about it and he can't fully hide that, but Scott does look calm otherwise. His hand just tightens against hers for a moment, the grip reassuring.] I've accepted that about you.
[There's still a note of a question in her voice, like she doesn't truly get where Scott's going with this. Also, she'd kind of thought she'd explained it? But maybe not, considering she doesn't think Scott ever asked. It hadn't seemed really important to explain, anyway; it works, and like, that's enough! Figuring out the logistics of it was Mitsuru's thing.
Thanatos drifts behind her still, not approaching, but not retreating, either. If he had eyes, they'd be focused on Scott, the gentle clink of chains and a faint sound of breath almost like a death rattle the only sound from the manifestation of death.]
All of us did. [It's a very simple answer, a statement of fact to confirm what Scott's said. Not just her, but Minato, Mitsuru, Shinjiro, even Ken and Koromaru had had to accept their own inevitable deaths just to summon their Personas. Even Kotone knows something like that couldn't have been normal, but it was necessary. For her, it was easy.
But it's still weird that Scott's bringing it up, isn't it? Without drawing back, she glances up at him, her question still in her eyes.]
[Scott wonders how he reached a point in his life that he can look at Thanatos and almost feel comforted by his presence? Well, it specifically has to be Kotone's, but it has to do with him being a reflection of her soul. Like he's here because Kotone is here and that's nice in a strange sort of way. It's part of the whole 'accepting all of Kotone,' not that he has a pressing urge to kiss Thanatos or anything.
He really doesn't.
He nods a little when Kotone affirms that truth about her friends, but he's not as focused on them right now. It's just him, her, and Thanatos and he wants to keep that. Scott strokes his fingers against the soft skin of her hand, trying to gather what he really wants to say to her. ...And the reason why he wanted to talk about this with her all started when he encountered Minato at the beach.
Kind of ironic that they're talking on the beach too.]
I'm sure you know that Minato lost control of Thanatos for a moment. [It was a little scary seeing him lose control like that, but he doesn't want to fully focus on that night. He's glad that his friend has regained his control and... hopefully understands about finding his way about stuff, but talking about all that to begin with has pushed him to talk about this with Kotone.]
Because he forgot about his fate. [About dying. Or something like that. Maybe he can't fully speak for Minato, but Scott's sure he's in the ballpark here.] I know I got upset a while back when you told me about yours, but... I don't want you to lose control of your powers. Of Thanatos.
[He's not sure if this is exactly what he wants to say and for a moment he's frustrated with himself, a small frown on him as he brings his other hand up to cup her cheek.] I mean, I'll always be sad knowing what happened to you. But... but I don't want you to be afraid of telling me about this stuff. I promised to listen to you no matter what. It includes this.
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...He doesn't think Kotone will be too upset anyway, right? She... she said she'll always love him. Thoughts about her guiding strength and love when he talked about the Phoenix stuff helps a lot.
He stops walking, smiling at Kotone with a lopsided grin, one that is just a little strained, like he's not sure how to rightly express himself this time. It might be an odd look on Scott, since he always seems so certain about how he feels and how he expresses himself about it, especially with her.]
...This really doesn't mean anything, Kotone. I just wanted to get that out right now, because I want to be with you. [He raises his free hand to her cheek, cupping it gently as he looks just a little more sure of himself.] ...From the other timelines, from what I know from the other mutants, it seems like their Scott always ends up with Jean.
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She stops when he does, though, focusing on that slightly-strange smile before glancing up to his glasses with no small amount of concern. Whatever it is must be bothering him a lot, huh...? She almost feels bad for bringing it up when they were having such a nice walk on the beach.
...Oh. That explains his face, because now that he's said it, she's almost not sure what expression she should make herself. It had felt weird when Morph had told her that there was someone else Scott liked, but hearing that it's not just Morph's Scott, but other Scotts as well... something twinges painfully in the center of her chest, but she musters up a smile anyway.]
She's one of the mutants you go to school with, right? Is she nice?
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Besides, she can't be 100% happy to hear something like this from him. He knows she wants to him be happy no matter what, because that is what he wants for her too, but it'd definitely hurt if either of them weren't part of that in the end. His own smile fades completely, even as he nods in response to her question.]
Yeah, she is.
[Jean is a mutant that goes to his school. She is nice.]
I liked her-- I still do, she's my friend. One of the first I made at Xavier's. [He shakes his head, as if trying to get what he really wants to say out. He knows Kotone will stay and listen to everything, but he doesn't want to keep her in suspense or make her feel this way for long.] But those feelings of wanting to be close to her... I don't feel them anymore.
[He lightly presses his thumb against her lips, eyes trying to meets hers through his ruby lens. Scott wants her to know how serious he is about this, that even though fate seems to want him and Jean together, he doesn't really care about that. He'll always care about Jean and want to help her no matter what, but when it comes to actually being together with someone... he's made his choice here.]
I only feel them for you.
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She should smile when he says Jean is his friend. That's good! She wants him to be happy and have friends and find love, even if it's without her. Her brows knit together as that train of thought continues, because in spite of the impossibility of it all, she wishes she could be a part of it, too.
Her expression settles, and she takes a deep breath, letting her hands come to rest on his chest as she gazes up at him.]
It'd be okay even if you did! [She tries for another smile, but this one feels even weaker than before, so she abandons the effort and stares down at her hands instead.] In the future, I mean. Even if you remember me when you go back, I don't want you to feel bad if you fall in love with someone else. [Her voice wavers a little bit, because as much as it's not a lie, she's not happy about the idea.] I wanna keep you all to myself, but that wouldn't be fair if I'm gone, so...
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Both of them know that this is temporary, they both agreed to live life with each other to the fullest, but... it really hasn't made it much easier, huh? It hasn't for Scott, choosing to just push that inevitable ending to the back of his mind. It's hard, it always has been, but he just loves her so much. And seeing Kotone affected like this as well... for a long time he thought she had fully accepted it.
He can feel something tighten in his throat, in his chest, her shoes slipping from his hand as the slight waver in her voice nearly brings tears to his eyes. He... he's not going to cry now when she probably needs something from him, but what does he say? Promise something, despite the future? Maybe it will still mean a lot to her, besides he wants to say it too.
Scott lifts his free hand to one of hers that's on his chest, guiding it so that it's pressed against his heart.]
I want to be with you, Kotone. I am yours. [His voice is soft, but filled with emotion. Scott isn't going to be the one that thinks being just slightly possessive is bad. It makes him feel just a little more special and wanted. This is totally fine and healthy--]
You'll always be with me. [Even if... she's not physically there anymore. His breath hitches at the thought, hand curling in hers as he presses it more tightly against his chest.]
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That's a dangerous thought, isn't it? It's going to make it even harder if somebody finds a way for them to get home. She has a responsibility to go back. She made her choice a long time ago. She's been in Aldrip longer than she'd been in Iwatodai, now, and maybe that's why it's so hard to think about going back. Dimly, she realizes she's started to shake a little bit, and in spite of it all, she forces a laugh, more for her own benefit than for his.]
I wanna be with you, too. You're the only one who makes me feel... [what, exactly? She doesn't quite know, and just trails off with a shrug like a period, the smile she gives him just a little watery. He just makes her feel so much.] But I mean it. If... if there's ever somebody else you like, it'll be okay.
[Despite what she's saying, her fingers squeeze just that little bit harder against his chest, and she nods more firmly, as if she's trying to convince herself.]
I want you to be happy. That's the most important thing. So promise, okay?
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Maybe he would've said that anyway, but he doesn't think Kotone wants that from him.
Right now, he only can keep her hand close to his chest, head tilting down as if trying to imagine her hand actually pressed against his heart. He just wants to soak in how warm she is because it's proof she's alive and with him. They have right now, they always have, even if that pain of losing her is present more than ever. Still, feeling, knowing how much she's affected herself makes something in his chest twist painfully, that ache not disappearing as he listens to her words. It throbs painfully with each heartbeat, his own grief filled smile matching hers.]
Feel alive? [He offers, voice cracked with his own feelings, always the more emotional one between them. If she's gotten this far, then he really stood no chance, despite trying so hard to remain strong. He knows that she means everything that she's saying right now, but it still really hurts, doesn't it? She's trying so hard for him...]
Kotone.
[Scott starts, but he doesn't promise her yet, brushing her cheek with his hand.]
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[Maybe that's it. Maybe Scott gives her a whole new reason for living, just like her friends in Iwatodai had done for her. They'd given her reasons to live, not just exist, and Scott has shown her something even more powerful than that. He's really someone truly special, one of a kind, and even if this place kind of sucks, even if sometimes she wishes she could just rest, Scott keeps her going.
Closing her eyes, she rests her cheek against his palm, soaking in the warmth and affection behind the gesture. If she could stay with him forever, she would, but if there's anything her time at Gekkoukan had taught her, it's to cherish the time she has with every single person, because they could be gone in a heartbeat.
She opens her eyes and turns her head, just enough to press her lips against his palm before looking up at him. Even if there's a hint of a shine to her eyes, the faintest hint that she might want to cry, she still musters up a small smile.]
Promise you won't stop living your life even when I'm gone, okay?
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Keeping her hand close to his chest, Scott gently presses his forehead to hers, sucking in a slow shuddery breath, like he's trying to gather everything he has to promise something that he really doesn't want to promise. A part of him doesn't want to find anyone else if she's gone, maybe he'll try his hardest to resist falling in love again, but he knows Kotone doesn't want that for him. He wouldn't want that for her.
Slowly breathing out, he finally responds in voice so low that it is near inaudible.]
...I promise.
[He's not happy. But he promised now.]
Promise me that too. [There's a little more certainty in his voice this time, wanting her to say the same thing even if it hurts. Maybe it's not even fair for him to think that, because she... she doesn't have a future back home, but if he's gone from Aldrip and she's still here.
He wants Kotone to keep living her second chance in this world.] If I leave, that you will keep living too. That you'll try to find someone or something that makes you feel the s-same way. [It's hard thinking that he can be replaced, but she deserves someone to treat her like she's the most important person in the world. He thinks it's an easy thing to do.]
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[Her brow furrows, as if she's only just now realizing how monumental a task she's set before him truly is. It's easy for her to rationalize away Scott falling in love back in his real world, because she won't be there. She'll never be there, so of course he'd have other options. But if he wants her to fall in love again here...?
Maybe she could do it. But it wouldn't be the same. She's had crushes on people before, both here and at home, but no one has made her feel like Scott has. Other people have made her happy, made her want to be with them, but what she has with Scott has transformed into something totally different, something she's almost too scared to put a proper name to. Is this what it means to really love one person, wholly and completely...?
She leans up and kisses him, softly and full of meaning, lingering there to give herself that extra time.] I'll try, [she murmurs finally, very quietly, letting go of his hand to instead let it rest against the back of his neck and keep him close against her.] But no one could ever be the same as you. You're... really special, Scott. Really, really special.
[She brushes her nose against his, seeking another kiss. If he's gone for too long, he might come back, but not remember her at all. He might come back, but be in love with Jean. She'd have to accept that, if that happened. If, if, if. For now, they have their time together, and that's what's most important.]
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Once she releases his hand, he wraps it around her waist, just wanting to establish all points of contact as they promise something so difficult. It's funny, even when he asked her out in October, he never imagined how close they'd get. Not like he was thinking that their dating would fall apart, but... he feels like what they have is really special now. Hearing her call him as such only deepens his attachment towards her, despite trying to tell each other to move on if something happens.]
You're really special too. You've made me feel more alive. ...I've never felt this way with anyone else.
[While certainly not dealing with the same struggles and weight as her, he really was just an angry and lonely teenager that only started to open up with the other mutants, then started to open up here when people reached out to him. She was really the first girl he met in person in this world and nothing can take that away. She's opened up his world in more ways than he thought, guided him to be better, and she just means so much to him.
As she brushes against his nose, Scott tilts his head to find her lips, dipping into a soft but still driven kiss, like he's reaffirming to himself her taste and touch and making sure he doesn't forget any of this.]
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Maybe he'll end up with this Jean girl in the future. If she's kind to him, and takes care of him, and makes him happy, then that's really all she can hope for, isn't it? Kotone's hand tightens a bit against the back of his neck at the thought, though, because if she had her way, it would be her with him. For all the times he's said that he's hers and she's smiled or laughed about it, it really means something. For now, for the time they have, he is hers. Her fingernails bite gently into the back of his neck as if to prove it, even as she draws back from the kiss to inhale a slightly-ragged breath, her eyes still shining with deep emotion. Even if they have to part in the future--be honest. That's what they'd promised. And there's really only one thing to say.]
For as long as we're both here, though, you're mine, [she murmurs against his lips, fingertips stroking the back of his neck as she gazes up into his glasses.] You're the only one I want.
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His throat constricts, unable to pull away, not that he'd want to.
He's always trusted and loved Kotone and he knows that she feels the same towards him. He just didn't expect to see this raw emotion in her, reflecting how he feels about her and... Scott can't help but feel happy about it. That she wants him as much as he wants her. There's a tiny passing thought of this maybe not being healthy or whatever, but it dissipates instantly because he's always wanted to only be hers. This is okay, more than that to him. He'll gladly accept those feelings because he doesn't need anyone else, not in this way.
Scott's arm tightens around her waist, lightly biting her bottom lip for a moment before releasing it.]
I'm yours. [He repeats, voice lower, deeper from how affected he is, but there's that full promise in his voice. He is hers.] And you're mine. I only want you.
[Weren't they talking about moving on-- Scott doesn't know her.]
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For as long as we're both here, [she repeats like a promise, sealing it with a kiss. He can't take this as an excuse to dwell on whatever may happen, or whatever may come. The inevitable will hurt them both so, so much, but at least they've talked about it. Scott's always good at making her talk, a thought that tugs a smile to her lips as she finally draws back and presses one more final kiss to his nose.]
So you'll still love me even if I dye my hair black? [she teases, in spite of the flush to her cheeks and the ache in her heart, because dwelling on this kind of serious stuff when they were having a nice walk on the beach is a lot. They said what needed to be said, and now she can tease him again, right? Her fingertips trail meaningless little patterns against the bare skin of his neck as she grins at him, still a little muted from the weight of it all, but genuine nonetheless.]
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[He repeats with her, full certainty and devotion in his voice as he returns her kiss. Honestly, he'd like to promise that he's only hers forever, but... the future is uncertain. One day, he hopes he can actually really promise her something of that magnitude, but right now, this will have to be enough. It's easy to soak in what they do have right now, because she's alive and warm in his hold and being just as expressive as him. She's really comfortable enough to be open like this with him, huh? He... he can't be happier, at least it feels like it, especially when it's just the two of them carving out this moment together.
God he is such a sap--
But he smiles as they pull back, his only cheeks flushed to match hers. He knows she's changing the topic to something less serious once more, but right now, that's okay. Scott's hand strokes her cheek, lovingly caressing her face as he looks at her with a sort of attention that he'd never give to anyone else here. Often times, there is that dopey ass look he gets, but there's a deeper intensity this time, still reeling from their confessions and commitment to one another.]
Even if your hair is black. [He brushes some of her hair back, tucking a lone strand behind her ear.] Or even completely bald.
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I couldn't wear my pins if I were bald! [Then it's back to jokes, and for good measure, her fingers trail up from the back of his neck to twine into his hair, purposely mussing it up just a little. At least he gets pulled into another kiss for his trouble, with her only pulling back to give him a slightly-mischievous grin. He can't look at her like that and not expect a playful,] Wanna go somewhere more private?
[Don't forget her shoes!]
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[He lightly protests when her ponytail smacks him in the face. There's, of course, no heat in his exclamation, Scott's expression turning more playful if just as affectionate still. There truly is no one else like her, no one as special to him. How can he possibly stop the way his heart flutters? Doesn't help that his cheeks brighten just a bit more when she kisses his palm-- kisses him, then further darkening when she makes that suggestion.
Oh, yeah, he'd love to go somewhere private.
He pulls away just slightly from her, his hand dropping down take hers, sliding their fingers together and remembering just the last second to grab her shoes.]
Let's go. [He wants to sound deep and crap, but really, Scott's still so flushed that he fails pretty badly on that.] Just wanna be somewhere with you, where no one can bother us.
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[She squeezes his hand with another playful smile and turns on her heel to tug him after her in a not-quite run. It's funny, isn't it? How quickly they go from talking about serious things to things just being normal. It's that kind of thing that makes it so easy to talk to him, she thinks, that makes it so easy to be close to him. No matter what happens, she knows Scott will still want to be with her. After talking about this kind of inevitable end, it only makes sense to want to enjoy the time they have together right now, right?
Hopefully he's not expecting her to lead him back into town, though, because that's way too long of a walk. There's a little shack that rents surfboards and other beach gear nearby, though, tucked in against some larger rocks that gives it something of a suggestion of privacy. And like, the shop's closed for the day, so-! Kotone gives him another playfully devious smile over her shoulder, slowing her steps to lead him around the back of the shop.]
You don't mind the sand, right? [she teases, planting a hand in the center of his chest to try to walk him back up against the wall so she can get back to the important business of kissing him.]
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Oh.
Even if he wanted to protest, those words die immediately in his throat, instead giving rise to those familiar flushed cheeks as she leads him around back. So, they're just going to... do stuff, out here? In a semi-public area? His heart races just a bit faster, but as he looks at the teasing smile on his girlfriend, there's no way he's going to stop her.]
I don't mind.
[His back settles against the wall as they sink into another familiar kiss, his arm wrapping around her while the other starts teasing up her thigh until it bumps into her holster and.
No Summers, don't bring up another serious conversation. You have your super hot and amazing girlfriend up against you, nearly pinning you to the wall. They talked a lot already and he just wants to have a good time with her. They both deserve it. But... he can't just ignore that pressing thought either, because it's important to him and he knows it is to her. It's just so depressing to interrupt this......]
K-Kotone, wait... [He mumbles against her lips, almost regretfully.]
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She leans up into him, fully intending to pin him up against the wall. A little noise of encouragement as his hand trails up her thigh, muscles flexing beneath his touch as she picks her foot up off the ground and presses her knee into his hip, fully expecting him to grab on and pull her closer. Except wait, what?]
What's wrong? [She hasn't moved against him, her voice a rushed whisper against his lips, but she doesn't interrupt. Talking is really important to him, as much as she wants to do literally anything else right now.]
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Great backup plan, Summers.
But after struggling a few more seconds, he regretfully pulls his hand away from her thigh, instead letting it hover close to the Evoker that she always carries on her person.]
Could... could you summon Thanatos for me?
[He swears it's not a kink thing--]
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...Her Evoker?]
Sure? [she agrees almost immediately, though there's a clear question in the tone of her voice and the tilt of her head. Kotone allows herself one more kiss to Scott's lips before drawing her Evoker and pointing it at her temple. Normally she might step back and give herself space, but it's not like they're about to fight or something. It almost feels kind of intimate like this, and she takes Scott's hand in her free one to bring to her chest, holding it there like she always does when summoning.
A breath to settle Thanatos in front of her heart as if loading a bullet into a revolver's barrel, and then pulls the trigger. This close, the bright blue light has to be startling, wreathing her head for a moment as it's knocked sharply sideways with the recoil. Thanatos swirls into view behind her, a looming, imposing presence that stares sightlessly down at the two before him.]
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But he keeps his hand to her chest and call him a freak, but somehow, this feels even more intimate. It's like he's with her as she uses her powers and it feels really special to him? After all, she's summoning something that represents a part of her soul and he's standing right her, hand to her heart as if he can feel its beat as she brings out Thanatos. He's very familiar with how she summons Personas now, so he doesn't pull away or flinch when the Evoker goes off, keeping his hand there with hers. It's been a very long time since he first met Thanatos and almost died to his hand.
He doesn't really feel scary to him anymore, even though he objectively has an intimidating presence. But he's part of Kotone, part of her... and he fully wants to understand that. He's determined to, because she's so important to him. So, as he keeps close to Kotone, he looks up at Thanatos for a moment before focusing back on her.]
...Minato explained to me how Personas work for you. When you use the Evoker.
[Accepting death and everything. Scott knows he reacted badly to her telling him that she's dead back home. It's been a year since that moment, however, and he wants to show her that he's matured since then. He's not as emotional or angry as before, in fact, he's gotten a lot better repressing that feeling, shoving it back so that he can deal with stuff. It's a good thing.
He wants Kotone to feel comfortable talking about everything to him, even this.] That you've confronted and accepted death.
[...He'll always be sad about it and he can't fully hide that, but Scott does look calm otherwise. His hand just tightens against hers for a moment, the grip reassuring.] I've accepted that about you.
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[There's still a note of a question in her voice, like she doesn't truly get where Scott's going with this. Also, she'd kind of thought she'd explained it? But maybe not, considering she doesn't think Scott ever asked. It hadn't seemed really important to explain, anyway; it works, and like, that's enough! Figuring out the logistics of it was Mitsuru's thing.
Thanatos drifts behind her still, not approaching, but not retreating, either. If he had eyes, they'd be focused on Scott, the gentle clink of chains and a faint sound of breath almost like a death rattle the only sound from the manifestation of death.]
All of us did. [It's a very simple answer, a statement of fact to confirm what Scott's said. Not just her, but Minato, Mitsuru, Shinjiro, even Ken and Koromaru had had to accept their own inevitable deaths just to summon their Personas. Even Kotone knows something like that couldn't have been normal, but it was necessary. For her, it was easy.
But it's still weird that Scott's bringing it up, isn't it? Without drawing back, she glances up at him, her question still in her eyes.]
Why did you want to see Thanatos?
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He really doesn't.
He nods a little when Kotone affirms that truth about her friends, but he's not as focused on them right now. It's just him, her, and Thanatos and he wants to keep that. Scott strokes his fingers against the soft skin of her hand, trying to gather what he really wants to say to her. ...And the reason why he wanted to talk about this with her all started when he encountered Minato at the beach.
Kind of ironic that they're talking on the beach too.]
I'm sure you know that Minato lost control of Thanatos for a moment. [It was a little scary seeing him lose control like that, but he doesn't want to fully focus on that night. He's glad that his friend has regained his control and... hopefully understands about finding his way about stuff, but talking about all that to begin with has pushed him to talk about this with Kotone.]
Because he forgot about his fate. [About dying. Or something like that. Maybe he can't fully speak for Minato, but Scott's sure he's in the ballpark here.] I know I got upset a while back when you told me about yours, but... I don't want you to lose control of your powers. Of Thanatos.
[He's not sure if this is exactly what he wants to say and for a moment he's frustrated with himself, a small frown on him as he brings his other hand up to cup her cheek.] I mean, I'll always be sad knowing what happened to you. But... but I don't want you to be afraid of telling me about this stuff. I promised to listen to you no matter what. It includes this.
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