[Kotone's tremors are so light, probably unnoticeable from far, but as he continues to hold her close, Scott can acutely feel those subtle shakes against him. He wishes he can reassure her that everything will be fine in the end, that she can somehow come back from being the great seal and live a normal life, that he can save her, but he can't. He doesn't even know if going back to her world is possible.
Maybe he would've said that anyway, but he doesn't think Kotone wants that from him.
Right now, he only can keep her hand close to his chest, head tilting down as if trying to imagine her hand actually pressed against his heart. He just wants to soak in how warm she is because it's proof she's alive and with him. They have right now, they always have, even if that pain of losing her is present more than ever. Still, feeling, knowing how much she's affected herself makes something in his chest twist painfully, that ache not disappearing as he listens to her words. It throbs painfully with each heartbeat, his own grief filled smile matching hers.]
Feel alive? [He offers, voice cracked with his own feelings, always the more emotional one between them. If she's gotten this far, then he really stood no chance, despite trying so hard to remain strong. He knows that she means everything that she's saying right now, but it still really hurts, doesn't it? She's trying so hard for him...]
Kotone.
[Scott starts, but he doesn't promise her yet, brushing her cheek with his hand.]
[Maybe that's it. Maybe Scott gives her a whole new reason for living, just like her friends in Iwatodai had done for her. They'd given her reasons to live, not just exist, and Scott has shown her something even more powerful than that. He's really someone truly special, one of a kind, and even if this place kind of sucks, even if sometimes she wishes she could just rest, Scott keeps her going.
Closing her eyes, she rests her cheek against his palm, soaking in the warmth and affection behind the gesture. If she could stay with him forever, she would, but if there's anything her time at Gekkoukan had taught her, it's to cherish the time she has with every single person, because they could be gone in a heartbeat.
She opens her eyes and turns her head, just enough to press her lips against his palm before looking up at him. Even if there's a hint of a shine to her eyes, the faintest hint that she might want to cry, she still musters up a small smile.]
Promise you won't stop living your life even when I'm gone, okay?
[If only he could carve this moment out just for the two of them, unaffected by anything else. Just allow them to remain like this for as long as they want, enjoying each other's company and just reconfirming how much they mean to each other. It would be nice. For a moment, it's nice to think about, but he doesn't lose himself in that dream for long, because there's that hint of water behind her eyes that he can't pull his eyes from.
Keeping her hand close to his chest, Scott gently presses his forehead to hers, sucking in a slow shuddery breath, like he's trying to gather everything he has to promise something that he really doesn't want to promise. A part of him doesn't want to find anyone else if she's gone, maybe he'll try his hardest to resist falling in love again, but he knows Kotone doesn't want that for him. He wouldn't want that for her.
Slowly breathing out, he finally responds in voice so low that it is near inaudible.]
...I promise.
[He's not happy. But he promised now.]
Promise me that too. [There's a little more certainty in his voice this time, wanting her to say the same thing even if it hurts. Maybe it's not even fair for him to think that, because she... she doesn't have a future back home, but if he's gone from Aldrip and she's still here.
He wants Kotone to keep living her second chance in this world.] If I leave, that you will keep living too. That you'll try to find someone or something that makes you feel the s-same way. [It's hard thinking that he can be replaced, but she deserves someone to treat her like she's the most important person in the world. He thinks it's an easy thing to do.]
[Her brow furrows, as if she's only just now realizing how monumental a task she's set before him truly is. It's easy for her to rationalize away Scott falling in love back in his real world, because she won't be there. She'll never be there, so of course he'd have other options. But if he wants her to fall in love again here...?
Maybe she could do it. But it wouldn't be the same. She's had crushes on people before, both here and at home, but no one has made her feel like Scott has. Other people have made her happy, made her want to be with them, but what she has with Scott has transformed into something totally different, something she's almost too scared to put a proper name to. Is this what it means to really love one person, wholly and completely...?
She leans up and kisses him, softly and full of meaning, lingering there to give herself that extra time.] I'll try, [she murmurs finally, very quietly, letting go of his hand to instead let it rest against the back of his neck and keep him close against her.] But no one could ever be the same as you. You're... really special, Scott. Really, really special.
[She brushes her nose against his, seeking another kiss. If he's gone for too long, he might come back, but not remember her at all. He might come back, but be in love with Jean. She'd have to accept that, if that happened. If, if, if. For now, they have their time together, and that's what's most important.]
[In some extremely selfish way, he's glad that it's just as hard as it is for her as it is for him promising something like this. Kotone's answer is just as quiet as his and he gets it, because it's so so hard to imagine being with anyone else. Maybe it will be easier once one of them is gone, but he doesn't look forward to that moment, he really doesn't want it to happen ever.
Once she releases his hand, he wraps it around her waist, just wanting to establish all points of contact as they promise something so difficult. It's funny, even when he asked her out in October, he never imagined how close they'd get. Not like he was thinking that their dating would fall apart, but... he feels like what they have is really special now. Hearing her call him as such only deepens his attachment towards her, despite trying to tell each other to move on if something happens.]
You're really special too. You've made me feel more alive. ...I've never felt this way with anyone else.
[While certainly not dealing with the same struggles and weight as her, he really was just an angry and lonely teenager that only started to open up with the other mutants, then started to open up here when people reached out to him. She was really the first girl he met in person in this world and nothing can take that away. She's opened up his world in more ways than he thought, guided him to be better, and she just means so much to him.
As she brushes against his nose, Scott tilts his head to find her lips, dipping into a soft but still driven kiss, like he's reaffirming to himself her taste and touch and making sure he doesn't forget any of this.]
[She lets out a soft noise into the kiss, leaning up and into him to get as close as possible. There's something romantic about kissing on the beach like this, even if they're making a promise to date other people in the future. That it's so difficult for both of them has to mean something, right?
Maybe he'll end up with this Jean girl in the future. If she's kind to him, and takes care of him, and makes him happy, then that's really all she can hope for, isn't it? Kotone's hand tightens a bit against the back of his neck at the thought, though, because if she had her way, it would be her with him. For all the times he's said that he's hers and she's smiled or laughed about it, it really means something. For now, for the time they have, he is hers. Her fingernails bite gently into the back of his neck as if to prove it, even as she draws back from the kiss to inhale a slightly-ragged breath, her eyes still shining with deep emotion. Even if they have to part in the future--be honest. That's what they'd promised. And there's really only one thing to say.]
For as long as we're both here, though, you're mine, [she murmurs against his lips, fingertips stroking the back of his neck as she gazes up into his glasses.] You're the only one I want.
[Scott lightly gasps against her lips as he feels that digging sensation, something about it so intense despite the light pressure. He can't really recall her doing something like that before and his heart beats just a little faster because something about her hold feels almost possessive? It almost feels silly, like he's thinking too much about it, but as he looks at her eyes that are bright and intense with emotion, especially coming from her, maybe he's not wrong. Is this how Kotone feels when he says she's his? That he only wants her?? It's almost overwhelming.
His throat constricts, unable to pull away, not that he'd want to.
He's always trusted and loved Kotone and he knows that she feels the same towards him. He just didn't expect to see this raw emotion in her, reflecting how he feels about her and... Scott can't help but feel happy about it. That she wants him as much as he wants her. There's a tiny passing thought of this maybe not being healthy or whatever, but it dissipates instantly because he's always wanted to only be hers. This is okay, more than that to him. He'll gladly accept those feelings because he doesn't need anyone else, not in this way.
Scott's arm tightens around her waist, lightly biting her bottom lip for a moment before releasing it.]
I'm yours. [He repeats, voice lower, deeper from how affected he is, but there's that full promise in his voice. He is hers.] And you're mine. I only want you.
[Weren't they talking about moving on-- Scott doesn't know her.]
[She parts her lips when he tugs at hers, almost about to lean in to kiss him again. Her heart flutters in response to that deeper tone of his, a flush rising to her cheeks as she keeps his gaze. Even if she can't easily see his eyes, he can see hers, see how open and honest she is as she looks up at him.]
For as long as we're both here, [she repeats like a promise, sealing it with a kiss. He can't take this as an excuse to dwell on whatever may happen, or whatever may come. The inevitable will hurt them both so, so much, but at least they've talked about it. Scott's always good at making her talk, a thought that tugs a smile to her lips as she finally draws back and presses one more final kiss to his nose.]
So you'll still love me even if I dye my hair black? [she teases, in spite of the flush to her cheeks and the ache in her heart, because dwelling on this kind of serious stuff when they were having a nice walk on the beach is a lot. They said what needed to be said, and now she can tease him again, right? Her fingertips trail meaningless little patterns against the bare skin of his neck as she grins at him, still a little muted from the weight of it all, but genuine nonetheless.]
[He repeats with her, full certainty and devotion in his voice as he returns her kiss. Honestly, he'd like to promise that he's only hers forever, but... the future is uncertain. One day, he hopes he can actually really promise her something of that magnitude, but right now, this will have to be enough. It's easy to soak in what they do have right now, because she's alive and warm in his hold and being just as expressive as him. She's really comfortable enough to be open like this with him, huh? He... he can't be happier, at least it feels like it, especially when it's just the two of them carving out this moment together.
God he is such a sap--
But he smiles as they pull back, his only cheeks flushed to match hers. He knows she's changing the topic to something less serious once more, but right now, that's okay. Scott's hand strokes her cheek, lovingly caressing her face as he looks at her with a sort of attention that he'd never give to anyone else here. Often times, there is that dopey ass look he gets, but there's a deeper intensity this time, still reeling from their confessions and commitment to one another.]
Even if your hair is black. [He brushes some of her hair back, tucking a lone strand behind her ear.] Or even completely bald.
[She laughs aloud at the mental image of her being bald and turns her head, flicking him with her ponytail. It helps a little to bear that incredibly affectionate look he's giving her, the one that quickens the beat of her heart and deepens the flush on her cheeks. She'd meant it when she said there was no one else who'd ever looked at her like that, as if she were the most precious thing in the world. For just a few seconds, she lets herself soak it in, leaning into the hand on her cheek and pressing a tiny kiss to his palm.]
I couldn't wear my pins if I were bald! [Then it's back to jokes, and for good measure, her fingers trail up from the back of his neck to twine into his hair, purposely mussing it up just a little. At least he gets pulled into another kiss for his trouble, with her only pulling back to give him a slightly-mischievous grin. He can't look at her like that and not expect a playful,] Wanna go somewhere more private?
[He lightly protests when her ponytail smacks him in the face. There's, of course, no heat in his exclamation, Scott's expression turning more playful if just as affectionate still. There truly is no one else like her, no one as special to him. How can he possibly stop the way his heart flutters? Doesn't help that his cheeks brighten just a bit more when she kisses his palm-- kisses him, then further darkening when she makes that suggestion.
Oh, yeah, he'd love to go somewhere private.
He pulls away just slightly from her, his hand dropping down take hers, sliding their fingers together and remembering just the last second to grab her shoes.]
Let's go. [He wants to sound deep and crap, but really, Scott's still so flushed that he fails pretty badly on that.] Just wanna be somewhere with you, where no one can bother us.
[She squeezes his hand with another playful smile and turns on her heel to tug him after her in a not-quite run. It's funny, isn't it? How quickly they go from talking about serious things to things just being normal. It's that kind of thing that makes it so easy to talk to him, she thinks, that makes it so easy to be close to him. No matter what happens, she knows Scott will still want to be with her. After talking about this kind of inevitable end, it only makes sense to want to enjoy the time they have together right now, right?
Hopefully he's not expecting her to lead him back into town, though, because that's way too long of a walk. There's a little shack that rents surfboards and other beach gear nearby, though, tucked in against some larger rocks that gives it something of a suggestion of privacy. And like, the shop's closed for the day, so-! Kotone gives him another playfully devious smile over her shoulder, slowing her steps to lead him around the back of the shop.]
You don't mind the sand, right? [she teases, planting a hand in the center of his chest to try to walk him back up against the wall so she can get back to the important business of kissing him.]
[It's so easy to just follow her lead right now. Well, honestly, it's always easy to follow whatever Kotone wants to do. What, it usually ends up being fun or something that he doesn't mind doing in the first place! He definitely has self-respect, thank you very much. Like 100%. But right now... he really just wants to be with her, no matter where that place may be. Even if it's a small shack that's closed to the public for today, situated in an area that isn't too out in the open and-- oh.
Oh.
Even if he wanted to protest, those words die immediately in his throat, instead giving rise to those familiar flushed cheeks as she leads him around back. So, they're just going to... do stuff, out here? In a semi-public area? His heart races just a bit faster, but as he looks at the teasing smile on his girlfriend, there's no way he's going to stop her.]
I don't mind.
[His back settles against the wall as they sink into another familiar kiss, his arm wrapping around her while the other starts teasing up her thigh until it bumps into her holster and.
No Summers, don't bring up another serious conversation. You have your super hot and amazing girlfriend up against you, nearly pinning you to the wall. They talked a lot already and he just wants to have a good time with her. They both deserve it. But... he can't just ignore that pressing thought either, because it's important to him and he knows it is to her. It's just so depressing to interrupt this......]
K-Kotone, wait... [He mumbles against her lips, almost regretfully.]
[Look, what self-respecting boy wouldn't jump at the chance to kiss Kotone Shiomi in sort-of public? In her mind, it's secluded enough, and at this point, half the town has to know they're dating by now. It's not like it's some big secret (Scott's fault, she's pretty sure), so if anybody finds them, well... Scott will be way more embarrassed than she will be, so it's fine!
She leans up into him, fully intending to pin him up against the wall. A little noise of encouragement as his hand trails up her thigh, muscles flexing beneath his touch as she picks her foot up off the ground and presses her knee into his hip, fully expecting him to grab on and pull her closer. Except wait, what?]
What's wrong? [She hasn't moved against him, her voice a rushed whisper against his lips, but she doesn't interrupt. Talking is really important to him, as much as she wants to do literally anything else right now.]
[He can feel his soul leaving his body and yet Scott only has himself to blame. Why is he being responsible at all?? Why can't he just be a horny teenager with zero thoughts in his head?? He likes to think he can be like that, but... important... things. Even if it may kill the mood entirely. He can only hope that they can bounce back again after this, maybe he'll mention how hot she is?? Or how he enjoyed when she dug her hands into his neck??
Great backup plan, Summers.
But after struggling a few more seconds, he regretfully pulls his hand away from her thigh, instead letting it hover close to the Evoker that she always carries on her person.]
[She waits patiently for him to speak, the hand on his chest moving up to gently stroke his cheek. It's hard to resist kissing him like this when they're so close, but whatever's bothering him, it has to be important. Her thigh almost feels cold when he pulls his hand back, but he doesn't go far.
...Her Evoker?]
Sure? [she agrees almost immediately, though there's a clear question in the tone of her voice and the tilt of her head. Kotone allows herself one more kiss to Scott's lips before drawing her Evoker and pointing it at her temple. Normally she might step back and give herself space, but it's not like they're about to fight or something. It almost feels kind of intimate like this, and she takes Scott's hand in her free one to bring to her chest, holding it there like she always does when summoning.
A breath to settle Thanatos in front of her heart as if loading a bullet into a revolver's barrel, and then pulls the trigger. This close, the bright blue light has to be startling, wreathing her head for a moment as it's knocked sharply sideways with the recoil. Thanatos swirls into view behind her, a looming, imposing presence that stares sightlessly down at the two before him.]
[He's lucky that she's encouraging this, even though she has every right to pout at him for interrupting their little make out session. He'll make it up to her in just a bit, 100%. Show how much he appreciates and loves her, even if it's out in a semi-public area. Who cares if someone comes across them (he might perish a little)!! ...Well, assuming that Kotone still wants to after Serious Talk #2.
But he keeps his hand to her chest and call him a freak, but somehow, this feels even more intimate. It's like he's with her as she uses her powers and it feels really special to him? After all, she's summoning something that represents a part of her soul and he's standing right her, hand to her heart as if he can feel its beat as she brings out Thanatos. He's very familiar with how she summons Personas now, so he doesn't pull away or flinch when the Evoker goes off, keeping his hand there with hers. It's been a very long time since he first met Thanatos and almost died to his hand.
He doesn't really feel scary to him anymore, even though he objectively has an intimidating presence. But he's part of Kotone, part of her... and he fully wants to understand that. He's determined to, because she's so important to him. So, as he keeps close to Kotone, he looks up at Thanatos for a moment before focusing back on her.]
...Minato explained to me how Personas work for you. When you use the Evoker.
[Accepting death and everything. Scott knows he reacted badly to her telling him that she's dead back home. It's been a year since that moment, however, and he wants to show her that he's matured since then. He's not as emotional or angry as before, in fact, he's gotten a lot better repressing that feeling, shoving it back so that he can deal with stuff. It's a good thing.
He wants Kotone to feel comfortable talking about everything to him, even this.] That you've confronted and accepted death.
[...He'll always be sad about it and he can't fully hide that, but Scott does look calm otherwise. His hand just tightens against hers for a moment, the grip reassuring.] I've accepted that about you.
[There's still a note of a question in her voice, like she doesn't truly get where Scott's going with this. Also, she'd kind of thought she'd explained it? But maybe not, considering she doesn't think Scott ever asked. It hadn't seemed really important to explain, anyway; it works, and like, that's enough! Figuring out the logistics of it was Mitsuru's thing.
Thanatos drifts behind her still, not approaching, but not retreating, either. If he had eyes, they'd be focused on Scott, the gentle clink of chains and a faint sound of breath almost like a death rattle the only sound from the manifestation of death.]
All of us did. [It's a very simple answer, a statement of fact to confirm what Scott's said. Not just her, but Minato, Mitsuru, Shinjiro, even Ken and Koromaru had had to accept their own inevitable deaths just to summon their Personas. Even Kotone knows something like that couldn't have been normal, but it was necessary. For her, it was easy.
But it's still weird that Scott's bringing it up, isn't it? Without drawing back, she glances up at him, her question still in her eyes.]
[Scott wonders how he reached a point in his life that he can look at Thanatos and almost feel comforted by his presence? Well, it specifically has to be Kotone's, but it has to do with him being a reflection of her soul. Like he's here because Kotone is here and that's nice in a strange sort of way. It's part of the whole 'accepting all of Kotone,' not that he has a pressing urge to kiss Thanatos or anything.
He really doesn't.
He nods a little when Kotone affirms that truth about her friends, but he's not as focused on them right now. It's just him, her, and Thanatos and he wants to keep that. Scott strokes his fingers against the soft skin of her hand, trying to gather what he really wants to say to her. ...And the reason why he wanted to talk about this with her all started when he encountered Minato at the beach.
Kind of ironic that they're talking on the beach too.]
I'm sure you know that Minato lost control of Thanatos for a moment. [It was a little scary seeing him lose control like that, but he doesn't want to fully focus on that night. He's glad that his friend has regained his control and... hopefully understands about finding his way about stuff, but talking about all that to begin with has pushed him to talk about this with Kotone.]
Because he forgot about his fate. [About dying. Or something like that. Maybe he can't fully speak for Minato, but Scott's sure he's in the ballpark here.] I know I got upset a while back when you told me about yours, but... I don't want you to lose control of your powers. Of Thanatos.
[He's not sure if this is exactly what he wants to say and for a moment he's frustrated with himself, a small frown on him as he brings his other hand up to cup her cheek.] I mean, I'll always be sad knowing what happened to you. But... but I don't want you to be afraid of telling me about this stuff. I promised to listen to you no matter what. It includes this.
[She hums quietly in acknowledgement; Minato had lost control of Thanatos. It almost seems like a rite of passage, doesn't it? Though Kotone's own had been due to cultists messing with her mind rather than forgetting about the inevitable. It's something she hasn't once been able to forget in her time here. In a way, she almost envies Minato for that; if it hadn't been for Thanatos' violent reminder, she would have envied him!
She slips her Evoker back into her holster and reaches up with her now-free hand to gently cup his cheek, running her thumb just below his glasses as she gives him one of her small, genuine smiles. There's sadness in it, because how could there not be after what they'd just talked about? But she smiles genuinely nonetheless as she leans up on tiptoe and presses the softest of kisses to his lips.]
It's okay. I won't forget.
[Even with the powerful reminder of what happened to Minato, she doesn't think she could forget. It's something she carries with her even now, something that still makes her so, so tired at night sometimes, like her existence is still tethered only by the strength of a promise.]
I've... had a lot more time than Minato has, I think. To think about it all. So... I'll be okay.
[As the warmth of her hand slides up his cheek, Scott turns his face slightly to her embrace. They are always very physical with each other, aren't they? It wasn't long ago that they've been like this, but somehow, it still feels unique and special. Maybe it's the context surrounding everything, maybe he just enjoys having Kotone embrace him in this way. After all, he's hers... now until they separate. It's funny, they're not going to get married or anything like that because they simply can't, but the promise they made just a few minutes ago still feels like a vow to one another.
He's not sure how to fully take it that she can't ever forget her own fate, not in the same way as Minato did. It's sort of relieving, but it also makes him sad as well, his smile turning as such to reflect that sad acceptance that he's fully used to when it comes to him and Kotone. They can't be together forever, but he loves her so much anyway. He really can't imagine being with anyone else.]
I know that you'll always try to be okay, but... you aren't alone anymore either. You have me. [He brings their hands against his chest now, letting them rest there.] Promise me that you won't forget that. I... I want to be your strength too, like how you've been so for me.
[Her thumb drifts down to his lips, tugging gently at that sad smile. It's not like when he tries to remind her not to smile when it's fake, but it's a reminder to him to try to smile more himself. It's okay to be sad, but it's better to smile all the same about the things they can't change, right? They have their time together right now.
She doesn't like seeing him sad because of her, though. If she could, she'd make it so he never had to feel this way. Things never quite work out that way, though, huh?]
I know. [She lets him take her hand, closing her eyes and imagining that she can feel his heart beating beneath it. Through it all, Thanatos hovers behind them both, drifting ever closer and watching the scene without taking his gaze off the young mutant. Kotone leans forward and up as if she might kiss him again, but just presses her forehead against his as if they could somehow get even closer than they already are, and exhales a quiet breath.]
You already are my strength, silly. Every day, I wake up, and I get to see you, and it helps me remember why I keep going.
[Death may wait for no man, but it is also patient. It claims everyone in the end. Thanatos lowers his head slightly, and one might almost imagine a chill surrounding them from his closeness. Kotone just smiles, closing her eyes as if her Persona's presence were more comforting than ominous.]
I told Minato that Thanatos isn't just a reminder of the end, but he's also our will to keep fighting, too. That's what I think, anyway.
[He's never been as good as her when it comes to smiling through things when he doesn't feel it. Doubly so when she's the one involved, because she's one of the very few people left in this world that he feels like he can be fully open with. He wants to be honest with her, but maybe he should try to smile more for her too. So, the corner of his mouth twitches upward, something a little strained about it, but he's trying still.
So, here they are, with their slightly forced smiles and hands together. He keeps them close to his chest even as Thanatos drifts closer, Scott only looking at him with acknowledgment, maybe some understanding. He's not afraid of Thanatos-- he'd like to think he still wouldn't be afraid if he attacked him. Maybe he'd just be more worried about Kotone, because if her Persona attacked him, then something is wrong with her.
Resting his forehead against hers, he swallows tightly hearing her claim that he's already her strength. She... she really means it, huh? Knowing that she's relying on him too, it makes Scott want to be even better. Stronger. So she can continue to rely on him. He can do that without problem, right?]
I know it's hard for you sometimes. You mentioned about it being difficult to get up from bed, but... but I'm glad that I make it easier for you.
[As the chill from Thanatos encompasses them, he pulls her closer, his other arm still wrapped around her waist. It's not like he's trying to protect her from her own Persona, but it's just a reminder that even if death is nearby, he'll be close. To... hopefully fight it off.] I don't mind if you want to lean on me more.
[There's a hint of a teasing tone in his voice, but he's still serious.]
I think so too, Kotone. Your will to keep going. [At least it's a nice thought, so Scott's going to fully support that.]
[She sinks in against him, relishing his warmth, how solid he feels beneath her. Keeping her eyes closed, it's easy to pretend that they're in their own little untouchable bubble; that as long as they're together, they'll be fine. Thanatos might hover right behind her as a very tangible reminder of the inevitable, but in this moment, right now, they have each other.]
I lean on you a lot already, [and while she matches that lightly teasing tone, it's true! More than Scott knows, probably. For so long, she'd had to rely just on herself. Even with SEES, she wanted to be someone they could rely on, and while she relied on them in return, it was different. She was still their leader. Maybe that's why she adds,] You're the first person who wanted to share everything with me. Not just stuff about you, or me, but... both of us. Does that make sense?
[Most of SEES had wanted to talk to her about things that were bothering them. She didn't mind! She was happy to help. Some of them wanted to talk only about her -- like Shinjiro. Junpei had been one of the few who'd seemed to want to hear about her as much as he shared about himself, but he was never interested in her like that.
Maybe it's fitting that Scott isn't a Social Link, and she won't get a Persona from him. They're more than that, she's pretty sure.]
If you wanna lean on me to the point that I have to hold you up, that's okay too.
[He laughs lightly, but there's a serious note to his voice. A promise. Because yeah, if she doesn't feel like getting up at all, if Kotone needs him to carry her in some manner, then he will. Without question. He wants to be here for her, not just when they're having fun. They've established that they're both very important to each other, that he doesn't want to be with anyone else while they're here, and he's determined to show it.]
...But yeah, that makes sense.
[Isn't that supposed to be normal? Sharing stuff about himself, Kotone sharing stuff about herself?? That sort of came naturally to him, especially when they're off in their own little bubble. It's easy to talk to someone that's always accepted him, even from the beginning, before they were even friends. He won't forget the time where she just took him out for a dance, the way she smiled at him. Sure, she's nice like that to everyone, but it still mattered a lot to him.
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Maybe he would've said that anyway, but he doesn't think Kotone wants that from him.
Right now, he only can keep her hand close to his chest, head tilting down as if trying to imagine her hand actually pressed against his heart. He just wants to soak in how warm she is because it's proof she's alive and with him. They have right now, they always have, even if that pain of losing her is present more than ever. Still, feeling, knowing how much she's affected herself makes something in his chest twist painfully, that ache not disappearing as he listens to her words. It throbs painfully with each heartbeat, his own grief filled smile matching hers.]
Feel alive? [He offers, voice cracked with his own feelings, always the more emotional one between them. If she's gotten this far, then he really stood no chance, despite trying so hard to remain strong. He knows that she means everything that she's saying right now, but it still really hurts, doesn't it? She's trying so hard for him...]
Kotone.
[Scott starts, but he doesn't promise her yet, brushing her cheek with his hand.]
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[Maybe that's it. Maybe Scott gives her a whole new reason for living, just like her friends in Iwatodai had done for her. They'd given her reasons to live, not just exist, and Scott has shown her something even more powerful than that. He's really someone truly special, one of a kind, and even if this place kind of sucks, even if sometimes she wishes she could just rest, Scott keeps her going.
Closing her eyes, she rests her cheek against his palm, soaking in the warmth and affection behind the gesture. If she could stay with him forever, she would, but if there's anything her time at Gekkoukan had taught her, it's to cherish the time she has with every single person, because they could be gone in a heartbeat.
She opens her eyes and turns her head, just enough to press her lips against his palm before looking up at him. Even if there's a hint of a shine to her eyes, the faintest hint that she might want to cry, she still musters up a small smile.]
Promise you won't stop living your life even when I'm gone, okay?
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Keeping her hand close to his chest, Scott gently presses his forehead to hers, sucking in a slow shuddery breath, like he's trying to gather everything he has to promise something that he really doesn't want to promise. A part of him doesn't want to find anyone else if she's gone, maybe he'll try his hardest to resist falling in love again, but he knows Kotone doesn't want that for him. He wouldn't want that for her.
Slowly breathing out, he finally responds in voice so low that it is near inaudible.]
...I promise.
[He's not happy. But he promised now.]
Promise me that too. [There's a little more certainty in his voice this time, wanting her to say the same thing even if it hurts. Maybe it's not even fair for him to think that, because she... she doesn't have a future back home, but if he's gone from Aldrip and she's still here.
He wants Kotone to keep living her second chance in this world.] If I leave, that you will keep living too. That you'll try to find someone or something that makes you feel the s-same way. [It's hard thinking that he can be replaced, but she deserves someone to treat her like she's the most important person in the world. He thinks it's an easy thing to do.]
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[Her brow furrows, as if she's only just now realizing how monumental a task she's set before him truly is. It's easy for her to rationalize away Scott falling in love back in his real world, because she won't be there. She'll never be there, so of course he'd have other options. But if he wants her to fall in love again here...?
Maybe she could do it. But it wouldn't be the same. She's had crushes on people before, both here and at home, but no one has made her feel like Scott has. Other people have made her happy, made her want to be with them, but what she has with Scott has transformed into something totally different, something she's almost too scared to put a proper name to. Is this what it means to really love one person, wholly and completely...?
She leans up and kisses him, softly and full of meaning, lingering there to give herself that extra time.] I'll try, [she murmurs finally, very quietly, letting go of his hand to instead let it rest against the back of his neck and keep him close against her.] But no one could ever be the same as you. You're... really special, Scott. Really, really special.
[She brushes her nose against his, seeking another kiss. If he's gone for too long, he might come back, but not remember her at all. He might come back, but be in love with Jean. She'd have to accept that, if that happened. If, if, if. For now, they have their time together, and that's what's most important.]
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Once she releases his hand, he wraps it around her waist, just wanting to establish all points of contact as they promise something so difficult. It's funny, even when he asked her out in October, he never imagined how close they'd get. Not like he was thinking that their dating would fall apart, but... he feels like what they have is really special now. Hearing her call him as such only deepens his attachment towards her, despite trying to tell each other to move on if something happens.]
You're really special too. You've made me feel more alive. ...I've never felt this way with anyone else.
[While certainly not dealing with the same struggles and weight as her, he really was just an angry and lonely teenager that only started to open up with the other mutants, then started to open up here when people reached out to him. She was really the first girl he met in person in this world and nothing can take that away. She's opened up his world in more ways than he thought, guided him to be better, and she just means so much to him.
As she brushes against his nose, Scott tilts his head to find her lips, dipping into a soft but still driven kiss, like he's reaffirming to himself her taste and touch and making sure he doesn't forget any of this.]
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Maybe he'll end up with this Jean girl in the future. If she's kind to him, and takes care of him, and makes him happy, then that's really all she can hope for, isn't it? Kotone's hand tightens a bit against the back of his neck at the thought, though, because if she had her way, it would be her with him. For all the times he's said that he's hers and she's smiled or laughed about it, it really means something. For now, for the time they have, he is hers. Her fingernails bite gently into the back of his neck as if to prove it, even as she draws back from the kiss to inhale a slightly-ragged breath, her eyes still shining with deep emotion. Even if they have to part in the future--be honest. That's what they'd promised. And there's really only one thing to say.]
For as long as we're both here, though, you're mine, [she murmurs against his lips, fingertips stroking the back of his neck as she gazes up into his glasses.] You're the only one I want.
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His throat constricts, unable to pull away, not that he'd want to.
He's always trusted and loved Kotone and he knows that she feels the same towards him. He just didn't expect to see this raw emotion in her, reflecting how he feels about her and... Scott can't help but feel happy about it. That she wants him as much as he wants her. There's a tiny passing thought of this maybe not being healthy or whatever, but it dissipates instantly because he's always wanted to only be hers. This is okay, more than that to him. He'll gladly accept those feelings because he doesn't need anyone else, not in this way.
Scott's arm tightens around her waist, lightly biting her bottom lip for a moment before releasing it.]
I'm yours. [He repeats, voice lower, deeper from how affected he is, but there's that full promise in his voice. He is hers.] And you're mine. I only want you.
[Weren't they talking about moving on-- Scott doesn't know her.]
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For as long as we're both here, [she repeats like a promise, sealing it with a kiss. He can't take this as an excuse to dwell on whatever may happen, or whatever may come. The inevitable will hurt them both so, so much, but at least they've talked about it. Scott's always good at making her talk, a thought that tugs a smile to her lips as she finally draws back and presses one more final kiss to his nose.]
So you'll still love me even if I dye my hair black? [she teases, in spite of the flush to her cheeks and the ache in her heart, because dwelling on this kind of serious stuff when they were having a nice walk on the beach is a lot. They said what needed to be said, and now she can tease him again, right? Her fingertips trail meaningless little patterns against the bare skin of his neck as she grins at him, still a little muted from the weight of it all, but genuine nonetheless.]
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[He repeats with her, full certainty and devotion in his voice as he returns her kiss. Honestly, he'd like to promise that he's only hers forever, but... the future is uncertain. One day, he hopes he can actually really promise her something of that magnitude, but right now, this will have to be enough. It's easy to soak in what they do have right now, because she's alive and warm in his hold and being just as expressive as him. She's really comfortable enough to be open like this with him, huh? He... he can't be happier, at least it feels like it, especially when it's just the two of them carving out this moment together.
God he is such a sap--
But he smiles as they pull back, his only cheeks flushed to match hers. He knows she's changing the topic to something less serious once more, but right now, that's okay. Scott's hand strokes her cheek, lovingly caressing her face as he looks at her with a sort of attention that he'd never give to anyone else here. Often times, there is that dopey ass look he gets, but there's a deeper intensity this time, still reeling from their confessions and commitment to one another.]
Even if your hair is black. [He brushes some of her hair back, tucking a lone strand behind her ear.] Or even completely bald.
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I couldn't wear my pins if I were bald! [Then it's back to jokes, and for good measure, her fingers trail up from the back of his neck to twine into his hair, purposely mussing it up just a little. At least he gets pulled into another kiss for his trouble, with her only pulling back to give him a slightly-mischievous grin. He can't look at her like that and not expect a playful,] Wanna go somewhere more private?
[Don't forget her shoes!]
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[He lightly protests when her ponytail smacks him in the face. There's, of course, no heat in his exclamation, Scott's expression turning more playful if just as affectionate still. There truly is no one else like her, no one as special to him. How can he possibly stop the way his heart flutters? Doesn't help that his cheeks brighten just a bit more when she kisses his palm-- kisses him, then further darkening when she makes that suggestion.
Oh, yeah, he'd love to go somewhere private.
He pulls away just slightly from her, his hand dropping down take hers, sliding their fingers together and remembering just the last second to grab her shoes.]
Let's go. [He wants to sound deep and crap, but really, Scott's still so flushed that he fails pretty badly on that.] Just wanna be somewhere with you, where no one can bother us.
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[She squeezes his hand with another playful smile and turns on her heel to tug him after her in a not-quite run. It's funny, isn't it? How quickly they go from talking about serious things to things just being normal. It's that kind of thing that makes it so easy to talk to him, she thinks, that makes it so easy to be close to him. No matter what happens, she knows Scott will still want to be with her. After talking about this kind of inevitable end, it only makes sense to want to enjoy the time they have together right now, right?
Hopefully he's not expecting her to lead him back into town, though, because that's way too long of a walk. There's a little shack that rents surfboards and other beach gear nearby, though, tucked in against some larger rocks that gives it something of a suggestion of privacy. And like, the shop's closed for the day, so-! Kotone gives him another playfully devious smile over her shoulder, slowing her steps to lead him around the back of the shop.]
You don't mind the sand, right? [she teases, planting a hand in the center of his chest to try to walk him back up against the wall so she can get back to the important business of kissing him.]
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Oh.
Even if he wanted to protest, those words die immediately in his throat, instead giving rise to those familiar flushed cheeks as she leads him around back. So, they're just going to... do stuff, out here? In a semi-public area? His heart races just a bit faster, but as he looks at the teasing smile on his girlfriend, there's no way he's going to stop her.]
I don't mind.
[His back settles against the wall as they sink into another familiar kiss, his arm wrapping around her while the other starts teasing up her thigh until it bumps into her holster and.
No Summers, don't bring up another serious conversation. You have your super hot and amazing girlfriend up against you, nearly pinning you to the wall. They talked a lot already and he just wants to have a good time with her. They both deserve it. But... he can't just ignore that pressing thought either, because it's important to him and he knows it is to her. It's just so depressing to interrupt this......]
K-Kotone, wait... [He mumbles against her lips, almost regretfully.]
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She leans up into him, fully intending to pin him up against the wall. A little noise of encouragement as his hand trails up her thigh, muscles flexing beneath his touch as she picks her foot up off the ground and presses her knee into his hip, fully expecting him to grab on and pull her closer. Except wait, what?]
What's wrong? [She hasn't moved against him, her voice a rushed whisper against his lips, but she doesn't interrupt. Talking is really important to him, as much as she wants to do literally anything else right now.]
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Great backup plan, Summers.
But after struggling a few more seconds, he regretfully pulls his hand away from her thigh, instead letting it hover close to the Evoker that she always carries on her person.]
Could... could you summon Thanatos for me?
[He swears it's not a kink thing--]
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...Her Evoker?]
Sure? [she agrees almost immediately, though there's a clear question in the tone of her voice and the tilt of her head. Kotone allows herself one more kiss to Scott's lips before drawing her Evoker and pointing it at her temple. Normally she might step back and give herself space, but it's not like they're about to fight or something. It almost feels kind of intimate like this, and she takes Scott's hand in her free one to bring to her chest, holding it there like she always does when summoning.
A breath to settle Thanatos in front of her heart as if loading a bullet into a revolver's barrel, and then pulls the trigger. This close, the bright blue light has to be startling, wreathing her head for a moment as it's knocked sharply sideways with the recoil. Thanatos swirls into view behind her, a looming, imposing presence that stares sightlessly down at the two before him.]
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But he keeps his hand to her chest and call him a freak, but somehow, this feels even more intimate. It's like he's with her as she uses her powers and it feels really special to him? After all, she's summoning something that represents a part of her soul and he's standing right her, hand to her heart as if he can feel its beat as she brings out Thanatos. He's very familiar with how she summons Personas now, so he doesn't pull away or flinch when the Evoker goes off, keeping his hand there with hers. It's been a very long time since he first met Thanatos and almost died to his hand.
He doesn't really feel scary to him anymore, even though he objectively has an intimidating presence. But he's part of Kotone, part of her... and he fully wants to understand that. He's determined to, because she's so important to him. So, as he keeps close to Kotone, he looks up at Thanatos for a moment before focusing back on her.]
...Minato explained to me how Personas work for you. When you use the Evoker.
[Accepting death and everything. Scott knows he reacted badly to her telling him that she's dead back home. It's been a year since that moment, however, and he wants to show her that he's matured since then. He's not as emotional or angry as before, in fact, he's gotten a lot better repressing that feeling, shoving it back so that he can deal with stuff. It's a good thing.
He wants Kotone to feel comfortable talking about everything to him, even this.] That you've confronted and accepted death.
[...He'll always be sad about it and he can't fully hide that, but Scott does look calm otherwise. His hand just tightens against hers for a moment, the grip reassuring.] I've accepted that about you.
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[There's still a note of a question in her voice, like she doesn't truly get where Scott's going with this. Also, she'd kind of thought she'd explained it? But maybe not, considering she doesn't think Scott ever asked. It hadn't seemed really important to explain, anyway; it works, and like, that's enough! Figuring out the logistics of it was Mitsuru's thing.
Thanatos drifts behind her still, not approaching, but not retreating, either. If he had eyes, they'd be focused on Scott, the gentle clink of chains and a faint sound of breath almost like a death rattle the only sound from the manifestation of death.]
All of us did. [It's a very simple answer, a statement of fact to confirm what Scott's said. Not just her, but Minato, Mitsuru, Shinjiro, even Ken and Koromaru had had to accept their own inevitable deaths just to summon their Personas. Even Kotone knows something like that couldn't have been normal, but it was necessary. For her, it was easy.
But it's still weird that Scott's bringing it up, isn't it? Without drawing back, she glances up at him, her question still in her eyes.]
Why did you want to see Thanatos?
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He really doesn't.
He nods a little when Kotone affirms that truth about her friends, but he's not as focused on them right now. It's just him, her, and Thanatos and he wants to keep that. Scott strokes his fingers against the soft skin of her hand, trying to gather what he really wants to say to her. ...And the reason why he wanted to talk about this with her all started when he encountered Minato at the beach.
Kind of ironic that they're talking on the beach too.]
I'm sure you know that Minato lost control of Thanatos for a moment. [It was a little scary seeing him lose control like that, but he doesn't want to fully focus on that night. He's glad that his friend has regained his control and... hopefully understands about finding his way about stuff, but talking about all that to begin with has pushed him to talk about this with Kotone.]
Because he forgot about his fate. [About dying. Or something like that. Maybe he can't fully speak for Minato, but Scott's sure he's in the ballpark here.] I know I got upset a while back when you told me about yours, but... I don't want you to lose control of your powers. Of Thanatos.
[He's not sure if this is exactly what he wants to say and for a moment he's frustrated with himself, a small frown on him as he brings his other hand up to cup her cheek.] I mean, I'll always be sad knowing what happened to you. But... but I don't want you to be afraid of telling me about this stuff. I promised to listen to you no matter what. It includes this.
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She slips her Evoker back into her holster and reaches up with her now-free hand to gently cup his cheek, running her thumb just below his glasses as she gives him one of her small, genuine smiles. There's sadness in it, because how could there not be after what they'd just talked about? But she smiles genuinely nonetheless as she leans up on tiptoe and presses the softest of kisses to his lips.]
It's okay. I won't forget.
[Even with the powerful reminder of what happened to Minato, she doesn't think she could forget. It's something she carries with her even now, something that still makes her so, so tired at night sometimes, like her existence is still tethered only by the strength of a promise.]
I've... had a lot more time than Minato has, I think. To think about it all. So... I'll be okay.
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He's not sure how to fully take it that she can't ever forget her own fate, not in the same way as Minato did. It's sort of relieving, but it also makes him sad as well, his smile turning as such to reflect that sad acceptance that he's fully used to when it comes to him and Kotone. They can't be together forever, but he loves her so much anyway. He really can't imagine being with anyone else.]
I know that you'll always try to be okay, but... you aren't alone anymore either. You have me. [He brings their hands against his chest now, letting them rest there.] Promise me that you won't forget that. I... I want to be your strength too, like how you've been so for me.
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She doesn't like seeing him sad because of her, though. If she could, she'd make it so he never had to feel this way. Things never quite work out that way, though, huh?]
I know. [She lets him take her hand, closing her eyes and imagining that she can feel his heart beating beneath it. Through it all, Thanatos hovers behind them both, drifting ever closer and watching the scene without taking his gaze off the young mutant. Kotone leans forward and up as if she might kiss him again, but just presses her forehead against his as if they could somehow get even closer than they already are, and exhales a quiet breath.]
You already are my strength, silly. Every day, I wake up, and I get to see you, and it helps me remember why I keep going.
[Death may wait for no man, but it is also patient. It claims everyone in the end. Thanatos lowers his head slightly, and one might almost imagine a chill surrounding them from his closeness. Kotone just smiles, closing her eyes as if her Persona's presence were more comforting than ominous.]
I told Minato that Thanatos isn't just a reminder of the end, but he's also our will to keep fighting, too. That's what I think, anyway.
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So, here they are, with their slightly forced smiles and hands together. He keeps them close to his chest even as Thanatos drifts closer, Scott only looking at him with acknowledgment, maybe some understanding. He's not afraid of Thanatos-- he'd like to think he still wouldn't be afraid if he attacked him. Maybe he'd just be more worried about Kotone, because if her Persona attacked him, then something is wrong with her.
Resting his forehead against hers, he swallows tightly hearing her claim that he's already her strength. She... she really means it, huh? Knowing that she's relying on him too, it makes Scott want to be even better. Stronger. So she can continue to rely on him. He can do that without problem, right?]
I know it's hard for you sometimes. You mentioned about it being difficult to get up from bed, but... but I'm glad that I make it easier for you.
[As the chill from Thanatos encompasses them, he pulls her closer, his other arm still wrapped around her waist. It's not like he's trying to protect her from her own Persona, but it's just a reminder that even if death is nearby, he'll be close. To... hopefully fight it off.] I don't mind if you want to lean on me more.
[There's a hint of a teasing tone in his voice, but he's still serious.]
I think so too, Kotone. Your will to keep going. [At least it's a nice thought, so Scott's going to fully support that.]
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I lean on you a lot already, [and while she matches that lightly teasing tone, it's true! More than Scott knows, probably. For so long, she'd had to rely just on herself. Even with SEES, she wanted to be someone they could rely on, and while she relied on them in return, it was different. She was still their leader. Maybe that's why she adds,] You're the first person who wanted to share everything with me. Not just stuff about you, or me, but... both of us. Does that make sense?
[Most of SEES had wanted to talk to her about things that were bothering them. She didn't mind! She was happy to help. Some of them wanted to talk only about her -- like Shinjiro. Junpei had been one of the few who'd seemed to want to hear about her as much as he shared about himself, but he was never interested in her like that.
Maybe it's fitting that Scott isn't a Social Link, and she won't get a Persona from him. They're more than that, she's pretty sure.]
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[He laughs lightly, but there's a serious note to his voice. A promise. Because yeah, if she doesn't feel like getting up at all, if Kotone needs him to carry her in some manner, then he will. Without question. He wants to be here for her, not just when they're having fun. They've established that they're both very important to each other, that he doesn't want to be with anyone else while they're here, and he's determined to show it.]
...But yeah, that makes sense.
[Isn't that supposed to be normal? Sharing stuff about himself, Kotone sharing stuff about herself?? That sort of came naturally to him, especially when they're off in their own little bubble. It's easy to talk to someone that's always accepted him, even from the beginning, before they were even friends. He won't forget the time where she just took him out for a dance, the way she smiled at him. Sure, she's nice like that to everyone, but it still mattered a lot to him.
He presses a kiss to the top of her head.]
You've made it easy to share everything with.
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