[She flinches when he raises his voice, staring up at him with a kind of bewildered hurt. Honestly, she kind of had expected him to just accept it, because what good comes from getting angry or upset about it? It's already over. It's how she'd usually reacted when other people around her had died.
Maybe Dazai was right. Again. It's better to just let people believe a happy lie than to tell them the truth. A little sickened, she stares down at her hands, pressing her lips tightly together with frustration directed more at herself than at Scott.]
'Cause screaming and crying and being bitter about it isn't gonna change anything, is it? [she says finally, trying to keep her voice from shaking because now Scott's even more upset than she'd thought he would be, and she doesn't know how to fix it. She can't even guess at the right things to say.] I just...!
[How had Akinari put it back then? She'd spent every Sunday she could with him in the fall, listening to first his bitterness, then his rage, his grief, and finally, his acceptance of his terminal illness. He'd died not too long before she had, she knows that.
It's hard enough to articulate her feelings normally, and even harder when Scott's angry like this, though, so her throat closes as she clenches her fists helplessly.] ...Sorry.
[Shame creeps up his chest when he sees the hurt on her face, because it's not like he's really mad at her. He's. Just. Upset!! Upset about the situation?? About everything she had to deal with?? About he can't change anything about it, which also sort of pisses him off, because he wants to help.
Just. What is he supposed to do? He can't do anything to help Kotone, someone that's grown to really care about. Scott pushes back the tears that threaten his eyes, instead curling his hands into fists as he tries to keep some sort of calm and lower the anger that was previously in his voice. Maybe if he at least controls some of his reactions, he won't make her feel worse.]
It's just not fair. Y-You shouldn't have to die, I don't want you to die...
[She opens her mouth to tell him that it's not like it makes a difference to him either way. Once they get out of here, that's it; they won't be part of each other's lives anymore, if he even remembers her once he goes back. What difference does it make whether she lives or dies? It's not like he'll be there to see it.
But with his emotions still so obviously raw, she closes her mouth and looks back down at her clenched fists, forcing herself to relax them.]
It's not like I want to, either. But you know how it goes! Someone has to save the world.
[She glances up at him with an attempt at a smile, trying to lighten the mood the only way she really knows how, even as she feels her hands starting to shake with her own repressed emotion.]
[...This entire time, she's been so cheerful and upbeat and supportive, but she's been dead and he didn't even notice. If he was in her shoes, he'd be fucking pissed or at least far less responsible, but she is still giving it her best every day and acting like everything is fine. He doesn't know how she does it, and even now, she's trying to cheer him up, even though she's the one with the raw deal and shit.
His shoulders slump, and he doesn't even try to return her smile.]
...You don't have to act like it's fine, you know. I mean, I'd be screaming if I were you. [...] Like, I know you said it's no use crying about it and shit, but...
[Where is he going with this? He doesn't know.] ...Sorry, I probably just sound like an idiot.
[It is fine, though. But that sounds like it'll just lead to an argument, and clearly he doesn't want to hear that it's fine, so what can she say instead?
Nothing, for a long few seconds. Eventually, she shifts, pulling her skirt up to reveal her Evoker hidden in its thigh holster. There's no flourish when she draws it and rests it in her lap, but maybe the visible sign will help him get it.]
To awaken our Personas, we all had to accept that we might die. Every time we use an Evoker, it's a reminder. [Still unwilling to stand, she just tilts her head backward to gaze up at him. Her lips stay in that smile, but there's a tinge of sadness and more than a hint of resignation in the curve of her lips.] I'd rather enjoy whatever time I have left, you know? If I spent all my time laying in bed crying about how unfair everything is... that feels like it'd be a slap in the face to everyone who'd helped me get as far as I did.
[His eyes draw to the gun that's in her lap, remembering the time when he thought she was going to shoot herself in the head with it. It's still probably one of the scariest moments of his life, just thinking that a friend would do something like that, but it's something more.
It awakens her Personas... and also represents the acceptance of death, as she tells him now. Guess it makes sense, since they have to shoot themselves in the head for it to work, even if that's also fucked in a lot of ways.]
...It just seems so much for you to deal with. [Scott says quietly, but without any real protest. What can he say or do? She's accepted her fate and it seems sort of shitty to stomp on that any more that he's already done.] But I get it.
[Is it a lot to deal with? After the past year, before she'd come here, it had just seemed like the natural culmination of things. All the people she'd formed strong bonds with, all the people who'd helped her develop her Personas, all of them had had something to teach her about loss. She'd had a lot of time for reflection after they'd beat Nyx and she was trying to desperately hang on long enough to see her friends on the rooftop one last time, and then even more time since arriving here.
The idea that yeah, it's insane for the kids who'd been part of SEES to be saddled with this kind of responsibility doesn't even cross her mind. It's just something she'd had to accept as fact, no matter how much they'd all had to sacrifice.
She exhales quietly through her nose and just lets herself collapse back, resting her Evoker on her stomach as she gazes up at the clouds above, only a little obscured by Scott's face. She'd laid like this on the rooftop with Aigis at the end. At the time, she remembered thinking it wasn't a bad way to go.]
It's okay if you don't get it, [she says finally, feeling her heart sink a little. Someone like Scott is way too normal to understand, even if he says he does. Maybe thinking about how it had only been Aigis on the rooftop hadn't been the best idea, because now she just feels alone again. None of her other friends were there at the end, even though they'd all promised.
It's that more than anything that leaves her voice sounding fragile, even as she tries for another smile, weaker smile.] Sorry for dumping that on you. It's okay if you want to go, too.
[Is it really okay...? Scott doesn't think it is, and he feels like he disappointed Kotone in some way. He's not sure where things went south, okay, he knows, but it still makes his stomach clench uncomfortably, despite the fruit sandwich being amazing earlier. It's a feeling that has nothing to do with what he ate.]
I want to hang out with you still. [He does his best not to rub his arm or look entirely glum, because that's not what Kotone needs right now, right? She said she wants to enjoy her remaining days and she can't do that if he's being upset on her behalf. Scott bites his lip, trying his hardest to be as earnest as before.]
I like our time together. [At least he doesn't have to lie about that.]
[To both, really. Hanging out with him reminds her of hanging out with Rio in a way -- she'd been really normal too, completely removed from all the stuff SEES had been doing. They could just hang out at Wild Duck and talk about boys, or tennis, or school, without worrying about training for the next full moon. Maybe that's part of why she likes Scott so much. Sure, he can blow stuff up with his eyes, but beyond that, he's just a normal guy. Even if it hurts a little bit that he can't understand, maybe it's enough that he's willing to try.
Hesitating just a moment more, she pats the ground near her.]
Wanna watch the clouds together...? It's not as good as going to the movies, but if you stay, I think it could be fun.
[There is an ulterior motive here, and it's that she wants a pillow. Talking about this kind of stuff is exhausting, and having fallen asleep on the bare concrete of this roof more than once before, it's easier if she has someone to lay on.]
[The smallest of smiles reaches Scott upon hearing that. He's still not sure what to do with this particular topic and maybe it's just something to never bring up again, but is that fine? It could be, because who wants to talk about death and everything and its inevitability? Still, there's something uncomfortable that's settled in his chest that he can't fully get rid of. He can really only push it aside as he plops himself on the ground next to her, pretending to act like everything is just... normal.
He's good at that right? Pretending that everything is normal again. It's what he wanted to do with the other mutants and he can do it now.]
Definitely not as good as Star Wars, not even the third one. [He jokes lightly while staring up at the slowly moving clouds. With his glasses, it feels just a tad apocalyptic, but it's cool.] I'd get us popcorn, but too lazy to grab anything now.
[It's something she'd thought would be good for him to know. It seems only fair, right? If he likes her, which she's pretty sure he does at least a little bit... it seems right for him to know. Maybe that means he won't like her after this, but that's okay.
...Still, she definitely shouldn't tell anyone else.
She shifts to pillow her head against his shoulder, dropping her head onto him with maybe a little more force just to try to make him smile with how silly of a gesture it is.]
I've never seen it. The theater in Tatsumi Port Island mostly showed like... artsy stuff. You know, they didn't even give me a discount? Even though I worked there sometimes.
[His eyes dart over to her when he feels that sudden weight against his shoulder. He's not complaining, far from it, if the small smile is anything to go by.]
Seriously? How have you not watched Star Wars?? At least see the first one!
[Nevermind the fact that she won't be able to watch it when she gets back. He wonders if it's callous for him to say something like that now, or would she be more upset if he started walking on eggshells around her? Scott's not sure, but he'll just go with what he knows and that's being himself.
Mostly. It's not like he can entirely forget what happened here.]
But geez, that theater sounds like a total rip off. I'd totally protest or quit. [...] So, staring at clouds is pretty much the same level of entertainment as you got watching movies at the island.
[She can't help it -- she laughs a little, less because it's funny and more out of relief that he can say something like that, something she obviously isn't going to be able to do. It's a little bittersweet, lodged right in the center of her chest, a reminder of all the things she won't be able to do, but... it's nice to talk about them.]
Well, you know how Dazai-san's bar showed up? If an American movie theater ever shows up, you'll have to take me to see it.
[It'll be a proper date!]
That's why I usually worked at the café or the stone shop. Anyway, it was never about watching the movies. I usually only went 'cause my friends wanted to see something. There was a whole week during a film festival where all my friends wanted to go on a different day. I think it was during summer vacation...? I was always super busy back then.
[As she's talking, she takes his hand, still watching the clouds. It's not the activity that matters, it's who she's doing it with, whether it's watching a movie or some clouds.]
[He'll take her out and get popcorn and everything, like going to a regular movie theater. Then, of course, he'll have to explain why the first Star Wars is definitely the best and how George Lucas is a genius and definitely won't turn his series into a cashcow--]
Your friends actually wanted to see boring artsy movies? They didn't want to go to the arcade or the mall or anything like that? [He slowly curls his hand in hers, his eyes darting over to her for a moment, before turning upward again.]
They kind of suck. [Scott teases, not serious at all about his insult.]
I mean, they weren't all artsy. Sanada-senpai and I went to see some kung-fu movies, you'd probably like those. Koro-chan wanted to see a movie too, but the staff wouldn't let me sneak him in. 'Cause he's a dog.
[Rude! Very rude of them! Let Koromaru watch movies! Anyway, she makes the mistake of glancing toward him when he curls his hand around hers, and the worst part (for her) about his glasses is that she can't tell if they're making eye contact or not and has to look away quickly, feeling a flush mounting in her cheeks. Jeez, what is she, a kid? Getting flustered about something like that.]
I always went to the arcade by myself anyway. I was a master at Quiz Game! I think the crane machine was my favorite. I won some cute Jack Frost dolls, but I had to give them to Theo for a quest.
[These are a lot of names she's dropping of people she has never once mentioned to Scott.]
Uhh, no offense Kotone, but dogs probably shouldn't be in a movie theater.
[Unless he's like a service dog or something?? Scott knows that he'd be annoyed if there was a dog barking throughout the movie, artsy boring ones or not. It's like ruining the whole movie experience. Luckily for Kotone, he's too busy thinking about the logistics of having a dog in a theater that he doesn't really notice the slight embarrassment that she's enduring next to him.
He just continues to stare at the clouds with a more natural smile.]
Really? You were good at crane games? Those things always felt rigged to me.
[No, Scott never won a prize from one of those things. Hence, they are totally rigged and out to steal money from hardworking teenagers!! She's definitely namedropping a lot of people though, but Scott just figures they're all friends of hers. He's always regarded her as the popular type, so not surprising.] But if an arcade shows up, we can go there too. See a movie and play at the arcade after, or vice versa. I'm adaptable.
[No! The injustice of it! Instead of being embarrassed this time as she glances toward him, she sticks her tongue out. Bleh!]
Koro-chan isn't just a dog. He's a Persona-user, too!
[As if that's completely normal for a dog to have a Persona. She hasn't even talked about how Aigis is a robot yet! But at least his more natural smile is nice to see; even if she's telling him about home, it doesn't have to be the sad stuff.]
I'm pretty sure it's more luck than skill, but yeah! If an arcade shows up, I'll win you prizes. It'll be a date!
[Is she putting it like that to further distract him from the inevitable prospect of her death... of course.]
[.....???? A dog is able to use Personas? Wha-- how does that even work? Scott blanches, not knowing what to really say about that. Maybe if it's best if he doesn't.
It's not a big worry anyway, and he moves his free hand to rest it on his stomach.]
I thought the guy was supposed to win prizes. [That's what boys are supposed to do, right? Win prizes for their girl-- UHHH their date and everything. Wait, is she serious about wanting to date and everything? Oh fuck, does he ask?? What if she was just joking or using that word in a teasing way? Scott feels his mouth go dry.]
Would. [Scott stops, as if trying to gather his courage, before continuing on.] Would you really want to do that? Um.
[More prizes more better! Anyway, she glances at him as if he'd asked a silly question, because aren't they on a date right now...? Still, there's a little voice in the back of her mind that's warning her to choose her words carefully.]
Yeah, of course. It would be fun!
[As if it isn't a big deal at all, because it really isn't, not to her. Maybe her smile is a little silly and her cheeks turn a little pink, but it's not like it's a surprising question or one that requires a lot of thought. They're friends. Why wouldn't they go on dates together, just to see if it's fun? There's nothing earth-shattering about it.]
So, is that a yes to dating? Or just a yes to going out on a date together as like friends or something? Friend dates? Those exist, right? They're doing that now, aren't they? So, another friend date or actual... date date? Why is being a teenager so hard!! He should just accept her answer and be happy, right?
.........
His face turns towards her, trying to look chill and not completely nervous.]
Would you. Ever want to go on... a date? [A date date!! But suddenly, words are so hard.]
[She glances back toward him again, cheeks coloring a little darker. Oh, he's taking this seriously, isn't he? So she probably should, too, even if it's antithetical to her usual manner. Even if it'd be really easy to make a joke, "a date with you, or just in general?" she probably owes him more than making too light of it.]
Yeah, [she says simply, giving him a smaller, but more genuine smile. Squeezing his hand just once, she shifts a little closer, lets herself get a bit more comfortable as she gazes at him. Maybe she should be more nervous about this, but... on the heels of telling him about her inevitable death, it feels like there isn't much else she could say to drive him away or make him think she's a weirdo.] I'd like that a lot. As long as it's not too serious, I think it would be a lot of fun.
[And that's maybe the most important part as she keeps her gaze on him without losing her smile. She can't commit to anything serious, not really. It wouldn't be fair to him, considering how her journey ends.]
[It's a weird process to feel like you're on top of the world, and then the very next moment, feel like you're crashing down from it.
Scott can't entirely stop his reaction, feeling a lump develop in his throat upon hearing that it wouldn't be too serious. It takes a lot of self-control not to be upset by her answer and demand why, but he sort of understands as well. He's somewhat confident that she likes him, but given everything he just learned right now, with her death at home, not to mention that living in this world is always going to be temporary, thinking of a super serious relationship is probably out of the question.
He gets it.
Doesn't stop him from shutting his eyes tightly, doing his best not to cry. He's glad, once again, for his shades covering his face.]
Yeah, I think it would be fun too. [He sounds mostly normal, except for the small hitch in his breath, but he seems to accept her answer.]
[Not for the first time even today, she wishes she could see his eyes more clearly. It feels like that was the wrong answer, but she doesn't know what else she could have told him. She rolls onto her side and drapes an arm across his chest. It knocks her Evoker off her lap where she'd laid it, but that's okay, no one's going to make a grab for it up here.
Not for the first time, she wishes Shinji were here so she could ask him if this is what it was like for him. Is this why he was always pushing people away? It doesn't feel like that's what she's doing, but...
Besides! He said it would be fun! She's probably overthinking it.]
I thought you were asking me on a date when you messaged me earlier, [she teases instead, trying to find her more stable, lighthearted ground.] Maybe next time, it'll be me asking you out somewhere.
[His face turns towards her as Kotone comes closer and while a part of him wants to hide away and cry still, he gives his best smile, watery it may be. It's the most that he can manage right now, even though he genuinely likes her and doesn't her want to leave. Well, guess that's the reason why he's upset in the first place, right? H-he should look at the positives, like the fact that she'd even want to go out with him, as unserious as it may be.
And she looks happier now, like she'd genuinely have fun being with him. That's a nice thought.]
Oh right, I did kind of say that...
[He was flustered with a bunch of thoughts at the time and he was also sort of joking? Scott figured that they both would view it as a friend date anyway.] Hey, let me ask you out officially first. Guys should be doing that.
[It doesn't feel like a reversed social link. Plus, he's not leaving, or even moving away. So... it's probably fine, isn't it? She digs her chin into his shoulder with another smile of her own.]
You wouldn't want a girl to ask you out? Dazai-san said on his radio show that boys would like to be asked out.
[Totally pretending like she's not the one who'd asked that question... definitely not... Anyway, guys have a lot of responsibilities in America, huh? Winning prizes, asking girls on dates- it sounds like a lot of work!]
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Maybe Dazai was right. Again. It's better to just let people believe a happy lie than to tell them the truth. A little sickened, she stares down at her hands, pressing her lips tightly together with frustration directed more at herself than at Scott.]
'Cause screaming and crying and being bitter about it isn't gonna change anything, is it? [she says finally, trying to keep her voice from shaking because now Scott's even more upset than she'd thought he would be, and she doesn't know how to fix it. She can't even guess at the right things to say.] I just...!
[How had Akinari put it back then? She'd spent every Sunday she could with him in the fall, listening to first his bitterness, then his rage, his grief, and finally, his acceptance of his terminal illness. He'd died not too long before she had, she knows that.
It's hard enough to articulate her feelings normally, and even harder when Scott's angry like this, though, so her throat closes as she clenches her fists helplessly.] ...Sorry.
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[Shame creeps up his chest when he sees the hurt on her face, because it's not like he's really mad at her. He's. Just. Upset!! Upset about the situation?? About everything she had to deal with?? About he can't change anything about it, which also sort of pisses him off, because he wants to help.
Just. What is he supposed to do? He can't do anything to help Kotone, someone that's grown to really care about. Scott pushes back the tears that threaten his eyes, instead curling his hands into fists as he tries to keep some sort of calm and lower the anger that was previously in his voice. Maybe if he at least controls some of his reactions, he won't make her feel worse.]
It's just not fair. Y-You shouldn't have to die, I don't want you to die...
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But with his emotions still so obviously raw, she closes her mouth and looks back down at her clenched fists, forcing herself to relax them.]
It's not like I want to, either. But you know how it goes! Someone has to save the world.
[She glances up at him with an attempt at a smile, trying to lighten the mood the only way she really knows how, even as she feels her hands starting to shake with her own repressed emotion.]
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His shoulders slump, and he doesn't even try to return her smile.]
...You don't have to act like it's fine, you know. I mean, I'd be screaming if I were you. [...] Like, I know you said it's no use crying about it and shit, but...
[Where is he going with this? He doesn't know.] ...Sorry, I probably just sound like an idiot.
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Nothing, for a long few seconds. Eventually, she shifts, pulling her skirt up to reveal her Evoker hidden in its thigh holster. There's no flourish when she draws it and rests it in her lap, but maybe the visible sign will help him get it.]
To awaken our Personas, we all had to accept that we might die. Every time we use an Evoker, it's a reminder. [Still unwilling to stand, she just tilts her head backward to gaze up at him. Her lips stay in that smile, but there's a tinge of sadness and more than a hint of resignation in the curve of her lips.] I'd rather enjoy whatever time I have left, you know? If I spent all my time laying in bed crying about how unfair everything is... that feels like it'd be a slap in the face to everyone who'd helped me get as far as I did.
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It awakens her Personas... and also represents the acceptance of death, as she tells him now. Guess it makes sense, since they have to shoot themselves in the head for it to work, even if that's also fucked in a lot of ways.]
...It just seems so much for you to deal with. [Scott says quietly, but without any real protest. What can he say or do? She's accepted her fate and it seems sort of shitty to stomp on that any more that he's already done.] But I get it.
[No he doesn't.]
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[Is it a lot to deal with? After the past year, before she'd come here, it had just seemed like the natural culmination of things. All the people she'd formed strong bonds with, all the people who'd helped her develop her Personas, all of them had had something to teach her about loss. She'd had a lot of time for reflection after they'd beat Nyx and she was trying to desperately hang on long enough to see her friends on the rooftop one last time, and then even more time since arriving here.
The idea that yeah, it's insane for the kids who'd been part of SEES to be saddled with this kind of responsibility doesn't even cross her mind. It's just something she'd had to accept as fact, no matter how much they'd all had to sacrifice.
She exhales quietly through her nose and just lets herself collapse back, resting her Evoker on her stomach as she gazes up at the clouds above, only a little obscured by Scott's face. She'd laid like this on the rooftop with Aigis at the end. At the time, she remembered thinking it wasn't a bad way to go.]
It's okay if you don't get it, [she says finally, feeling her heart sink a little. Someone like Scott is way too normal to understand, even if he says he does. Maybe thinking about how it had only been Aigis on the rooftop hadn't been the best idea, because now she just feels alone again. None of her other friends were there at the end, even though they'd all promised.
It's that more than anything that leaves her voice sounding fragile, even as she tries for another smile, weaker smile.] Sorry for dumping that on you. It's okay if you want to go, too.
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I want to hang out with you still. [He does his best not to rub his arm or look entirely glum, because that's not what Kotone needs right now, right? She said she wants to enjoy her remaining days and she can't do that if he's being upset on her behalf. Scott bites his lip, trying his hardest to be as earnest as before.]
I like our time together. [At least he doesn't have to lie about that.]
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[To both, really. Hanging out with him reminds her of hanging out with Rio in a way -- she'd been really normal too, completely removed from all the stuff SEES had been doing. They could just hang out at Wild Duck and talk about boys, or tennis, or school, without worrying about training for the next full moon. Maybe that's part of why she likes Scott so much. Sure, he can blow stuff up with his eyes, but beyond that, he's just a normal guy. Even if it hurts a little bit that he can't understand, maybe it's enough that he's willing to try.
Hesitating just a moment more, she pats the ground near her.]
Wanna watch the clouds together...? It's not as good as going to the movies, but if you stay, I think it could be fun.
[There is an ulterior motive here, and it's that she wants a pillow. Talking about this kind of stuff is exhausting, and having fallen asleep on the bare concrete of this roof more than once before, it's easier if she has someone to lay on.]
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He's good at that right? Pretending that everything is normal again. It's what he wanted to do with the other mutants and he can do it now.]
Definitely not as good as Star Wars, not even the third one. [He jokes lightly while staring up at the slowly moving clouds. With his glasses, it feels just a tad apocalyptic, but it's cool.] I'd get us popcorn, but too lazy to grab anything now.
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...Still, she definitely shouldn't tell anyone else.
She shifts to pillow her head against his shoulder, dropping her head onto him with maybe a little more force just to try to make him smile with how silly of a gesture it is.]
I've never seen it. The theater in Tatsumi Port Island mostly showed like... artsy stuff. You know, they didn't even give me a discount? Even though I worked there sometimes.
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Seriously? How have you not watched Star Wars?? At least see the first one!
[Nevermind the fact that she won't be able to watch it when she gets back. He wonders if it's callous for him to say something like that now, or would she be more upset if he started walking on eggshells around her? Scott's not sure, but he'll just go with what he knows and that's being himself.
Mostly. It's not like he can entirely forget what happened here.]
But geez, that theater sounds like a total rip off. I'd totally protest or quit. [...] So, staring at clouds is pretty much the same level of entertainment as you got watching movies at the island.
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Well, you know how Dazai-san's bar showed up? If an American movie theater ever shows up, you'll have to take me to see it.
[It'll be a proper date!]
That's why I usually worked at the café or the stone shop. Anyway, it was never about watching the movies. I usually only went 'cause my friends wanted to see something. There was a whole week during a film festival where all my friends wanted to go on a different day. I think it was during summer vacation...? I was always super busy back then.
[As she's talking, she takes his hand, still watching the clouds. It's not the activity that matters, it's who she's doing it with, whether it's watching a movie or some clouds.]
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[He'll take her out and get popcorn and everything, like going to a regular movie theater. Then, of course, he'll have to explain why the first Star Wars is definitely the best and how George Lucas is a genius and definitely won't turn his series into a cashcow--]
Your friends actually wanted to see boring artsy movies? They didn't want to go to the arcade or the mall or anything like that? [He slowly curls his hand in hers, his eyes darting over to her for a moment, before turning upward again.]
They kind of suck. [Scott teases, not serious at all about his insult.]
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[Rude! Very rude of them! Let Koromaru watch movies! Anyway, she makes the mistake of glancing toward him when he curls his hand around hers, and the worst part (for her) about his glasses is that she can't tell if they're making eye contact or not and has to look away quickly, feeling a flush mounting in her cheeks. Jeez, what is she, a kid? Getting flustered about something like that.]
I always went to the arcade by myself anyway. I was a master at Quiz Game! I think the crane machine was my favorite. I won some cute Jack Frost dolls, but I had to give them to Theo for a quest.
[These are a lot of names she's dropping of people she has never once mentioned to Scott.]
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[Unless he's like a service dog or something?? Scott knows that he'd be annoyed if there was a dog barking throughout the movie, artsy boring ones or not. It's like ruining the whole movie experience. Luckily for Kotone, he's too busy thinking about the logistics of having a dog in a theater that he doesn't really notice the slight embarrassment that she's enduring next to him.
He just continues to stare at the clouds with a more natural smile.]
Really? You were good at crane games? Those things always felt rigged to me.
[No, Scott never won a prize from one of those things. Hence, they are totally rigged and out to steal money from hardworking teenagers!! She's definitely namedropping a lot of people though, but Scott just figures they're all friends of hers. He's always regarded her as the popular type, so not surprising.] But if an arcade shows up, we can go there too. See a movie and play at the arcade after, or vice versa. I'm adaptable.
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Koro-chan isn't just a dog. He's a Persona-user, too!
[As if that's completely normal for a dog to have a Persona. She hasn't even talked about how Aigis is a robot yet! But at least his more natural smile is nice to see; even if she's telling him about home, it doesn't have to be the sad stuff.]
I'm pretty sure it's more luck than skill, but yeah! If an arcade shows up, I'll win you prizes. It'll be a date!
[Is she putting it like that to further distract him from the inevitable prospect of her death... of course.]
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It's not a big worry anyway, and he moves his free hand to rest it on his stomach.]
I thought the guy was supposed to win prizes. [That's what boys are supposed to do, right? Win prizes for their girl-- UHHH their date and everything. Wait, is she serious about wanting to date and everything? Oh fuck, does he ask?? What if she was just joking or using that word in a teasing way? Scott feels his mouth go dry.]
Would. [Scott stops, as if trying to gather his courage, before continuing on.] Would you really want to do that? Um.
[Date.]
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[More prizes more better! Anyway, she glances at him as if he'd asked a silly question, because aren't they on a date right now...? Still, there's a little voice in the back of her mind that's warning her to choose her words carefully.]
Yeah, of course. It would be fun!
[As if it isn't a big deal at all, because it really isn't, not to her. Maybe her smile is a little silly and her cheeks turn a little pink, but it's not like it's a surprising question or one that requires a lot of thought. They're friends. Why wouldn't they go on dates together, just to see if it's fun? There's nothing earth-shattering about it.]
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So, is that a yes to dating? Or just a yes to going out on a date together as like friends or something? Friend dates? Those exist, right? They're doing that now, aren't they? So, another friend date or actual... date date? Why is being a teenager so hard!! He should just accept her answer and be happy, right?
.........
His face turns towards her, trying to look chill and not completely nervous.]
Would you. Ever want to go on... a date? [A date date!! But suddenly, words are so hard.]
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Yeah, [she says simply, giving him a smaller, but more genuine smile. Squeezing his hand just once, she shifts a little closer, lets herself get a bit more comfortable as she gazes at him. Maybe she should be more nervous about this, but... on the heels of telling him about her inevitable death, it feels like there isn't much else she could say to drive him away or make him think she's a weirdo.] I'd like that a lot. As long as it's not too serious, I think it would be a lot of fun.
[And that's maybe the most important part as she keeps her gaze on him without losing her smile. She can't commit to anything serious, not really. It wouldn't be fair to him, considering how her journey ends.]
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Scott can't entirely stop his reaction, feeling a lump develop in his throat upon hearing that it wouldn't be too serious. It takes a lot of self-control not to be upset by her answer and demand why, but he sort of understands as well. He's somewhat confident that she likes him, but given everything he just learned right now, with her death at home, not to mention that living in this world is always going to be temporary, thinking of a super serious relationship is probably out of the question.
He gets it.
Doesn't stop him from shutting his eyes tightly, doing his best not to cry. He's glad, once again, for his shades covering his face.]
Yeah, I think it would be fun too. [He sounds mostly normal, except for the small hitch in his breath, but he seems to accept her answer.]
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Not for the first time, she wishes Shinji were here so she could ask him if this is what it was like for him. Is this why he was always pushing people away? It doesn't feel like that's what she's doing, but...
Besides! He said it would be fun! She's probably overthinking it.]
I thought you were asking me on a date when you messaged me earlier, [she teases instead, trying to find her more stable, lighthearted ground.] Maybe next time, it'll be me asking you out somewhere.
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And she looks happier now, like she'd genuinely have fun being with him. That's a nice thought.]
Oh right, I did kind of say that...
[He was flustered with a bunch of thoughts at the time and he was also sort of joking? Scott figured that they both would view it as a friend date anyway.] Hey, let me ask you out officially first. Guys should be doing that.
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You wouldn't want a girl to ask you out? Dazai-san said on his radio show that boys would like to be asked out.
[Totally pretending like she's not the one who'd asked that question... definitely not... Anyway, guys have a lot of responsibilities in America, huh? Winning prizes, asking girls on dates- it sounds like a lot of work!]
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want to wrap this up? :>