(all this suspense, and he's building it, his voice almost mocking himself until he takes a sip of the drink, solely for dramatics. he's nothing without his flamboyance.)
Because I saw your duplicity. It's sometimes good to have someone who can see through it, so I came. I guess I have a soft spot for sad kiddos with great potential! I've never been wrong.
(which means, she's not the first.)
Also, you don't know me yet, or else you'd have seen right through my lie! Me, making Chuuya's life easier? Never going to happen! He can shop himself and look stupid walking on the ceiling.
One question, kiddo, one question. That's my secret!
(and now he's back to being a bastard. he won't tell her that, not really. instead, he'll sip, humming a very cheerful song that we should all be glad he is not singing. the lyrics are like the melody.)
But! That was definitely not what I thought you were going to ask! I really thought you were going for the murder.
[She puffs out a cheek briefly in a pout before sitting back and taking her coffee cup with her, gazing at him over the rim.]
Would it change anything if I asked? Unless you start murdering people here, knowing for sure whether or not you were lying about that isn't going to change anything. It doesn't mean I'm happy about it or I like it. But...
[Asking about the murders is the obvious question, and obviously if people start turning up dead, Dazai is going to be the first person she'd want investigated. But whatever he's done in his past, if it's true or not, doesn't affect anything right now in all honesty.
Maybe that's callous or selfish. But she just shrugs one shoulder.]
(he no longer kills, unless absolutely necessary, and if he can avoid it, he will. not out of such a moral stand, but a promise made to a dying man in his arms. he can be the worst and be good at the same time, can't he?)
Hey, Kotone. Have you perchance met Fyodor, or Gogol? Those are also from my home.
[Now that, she doesn't know if she believes. She wants to believe him. But if there's anything this conversation has established, it's that he's a liar. That's fine. She's met a lot of liars in the past year.
She hums quietly, brow furrowing in concentration.]
(he laughs a little, just because, well. he has that effect on people. it's called being a bastard who will poke things out. he's sure fyodor, being so similar, could see through her as well.)
First thing, you need to learn to control your face. Most people are not this observant, but if you space out while you think, that is telling, you see?
You just need to be aware of it first. It's a multitasking mission! Keep talking, stall, whatever, but don't stare into the space, you're giving out all the answers silently.
You think with your face, too. Try not to react with your face to your thoughts. That should suffice, but, you'll need practice, yes? So, go ahead, I'll bring up something and I'll snap my fingers every time I see something.
(and both his drinks are gone, he realizes. awful, awful, and he looks like he's dying from the sheer realization.)
So, dying, huh? I can't help to be jealous, Kotone-chan.
[She makes another face at his theatrics, setting aside here own empty coffee cup to instead cross one arm over her chest, bring the other to her lips in thought as if making a mental note. It's hard to figure out what's a natural reaction that other people do, and what is the kind of tell that he's looking out for...
Her expression stills when he asks about if her friends know, and she doesn't realize as her smile fades away into something more neutral, almost defensive.]
How would you respond to something you didn't want to answer, then?
[She's leaning in a little now, because that's important, especially if somehow any of this gets back to Shinjiro. She can't have him worrying about her, not when he seems to be doing so much better.]
Why don't you try and ask me something I might not want to answer? Ah, but keep in mind, if you just imitate me, it'll be weird. I'm naturally very over-the-top, it'll sound like a maniac episode for you.
(DAZAI...
she doesn't have to worry, however. it benefits him nothing to tell anyone and betray her trust.)
(ah, kotone, sweetheart. he has no trouble answering that one, but it will mesh and mix later with something he definitely does not want to touch.)
Ah, I was not a great person at your age, and I was also an executive boss of a criminal organization! So, it fits the job description, does it not? Past waters for me, though.
[Hm, she isn't sure she actually wanted the confirmation, but they're walking down this road now, so nothing for it but to continue.]
At my age? What was that, five years ago? [You're not that old, old man.] If you were the boss, did you kill them yourself, or did you order other people to do it?
Why did you join a criminal organization in the first place? Did you have any other choice?
[He seems willing enough to answer all of these questions, unless this is the point? Maybe she's not supposed to be able to tell which ones he doesn't want to answer? She's still just watching his face carefully, trying to guess what she's looking for.]
A little bit of fate, a little bit of me not managing to kill myself when I wanted to, and a little bit of being in the right place at the right time! There are always other choices, aren't there?
(ding. ding ding ding. an answer, that answers nothing at the end of the day.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
(all this suspense, and he's building it, his voice almost mocking himself until he takes a sip of the drink, solely for dramatics. he's nothing without his flamboyance.)
Because I saw your duplicity. It's sometimes good to have someone who can see through it, so I came. I guess I have a soft spot for sad kiddos with great potential! I've never been wrong.
(which means, she's not the first.)
Also, you don't know me yet, or else you'd have seen right through my lie! Me, making Chuuya's life easier? Never going to happen! He can shop himself and look stupid walking on the ceiling.
no subject
And what potential do you see in me?
[That's a word that lots of people use to describe her, and always to talk about something different. So who is she to Dazai, exactly?]
no subject
(and now he's back to being a bastard. he won't tell her that, not really. instead, he'll sip, humming a very cheerful song that we should all be glad he is not singing. the lyrics are like the melody.)
But! That was definitely not what I thought you were going to ask! I really thought you were going for the murder.
no subject
Would it change anything if I asked? Unless you start murdering people here, knowing for sure whether or not you were lying about that isn't going to change anything. It doesn't mean I'm happy about it or I like it. But...
[Asking about the murders is the obvious question, and obviously if people start turning up dead, Dazai is going to be the first person she'd want investigated. But whatever he's done in his past, if it's true or not, doesn't affect anything right now in all honesty.
Maybe that's callous or selfish. But she just shrugs one shoulder.]
no subject
(he no longer kills, unless absolutely necessary, and if he can avoid it, he will. not out of such a moral stand, but a promise made to a dying man in his arms. he can be the worst and be good at the same time, can't he?)
Hey, Kotone. Have you perchance met Fyodor, or Gogol? Those are also from my home.
no subject
She hums quietly, brow furrowing in concentration.]
Is Fyodor-san's last name Russian? If so, yeah.
[She Cannot Pronounce Dostoevsky.]
no subject
(don't fuel his own thing, kotone!!!!!!)
no subject
I'm sure you noticed, but I don't usually tell people anything about that stuff. You're the only one who knows.
[Technically true, considering she mostly talked about Igor and Theo and even that's not something she's talked about with Shinji at length.]
...You said I'm easy to read. Can you teach me not to be...?
[It's not that she wants to lie to people. But if it means people won't see her uncertainty or her fear, then they'll be able to rely on her more.]
no subject
(he laughs a little, just because, well. he has that effect on people. it's called being a bastard who will poke things out. he's sure fyodor, being so similar, could see through her as well.)
First thing, you need to learn to control your face. Most people are not this observant, but if you space out while you think, that is telling, you see?
no subject
[That sounds... hard. It's not like she does it on purpose, but it isn't like she knows what else to do with her face when she's thinking.]
no subject
(why is he helping her? secret.)
no subject
[She squints at him, not sure how that's supposed to help. It's hard to do all that stuff and think at the same time!!]
I can try that. Any other advice?
cw suicide talk
(and both his drinks are gone, he realizes. awful, awful, and he looks like he's dying from the sheer realization.)
So, dying, huh? I can't help to be jealous, Kotone-chan.
no subject
That's not the kind of thing anyone should be jealous of, Dazai-san. Lots of people want to live and don't have a choice.
[Just because she had decided not to count herself among their number-! Then a pause as she realizes,]
Oh. Was I not supposed to react at all? That feels more unnatural.
no subject
Some of us don't, and can't leave this plane of existence! Be nicer to us, suicidal incompetents, and unable to be murdered fellows!!!!
(dramatic, the back of the hand on his forehead as he tilts his head backward. theatrics, theatrics.)
Nope, you had a great response, that's the kind of thing people usually say. Keep telling me, why are you dying, again? Do your friends know?
no subject
Her expression stills when he asks about if her friends know, and she doesn't realize as her smile fades away into something more neutral, almost defensive.]
Why does that matter?
no subject
That's a 'no', then?
(and with a finger, he points at her mouth.)
It doesn't to me, not really. Do not get defensive, you answered my question.
no subject
[She's leaning in a little now, because that's important, especially if somehow any of this gets back to Shinjiro. She can't have him worrying about her, not when he seems to be doing so much better.]
no subject
(DAZAI...
she doesn't have to worry, however. it benefits him nothing to tell anyone and betray her trust.)
no subject
[She still doesn't know if she really believes him or not, but she knows he won't want to answer.]
no subject
Ah, I was not a great person at your age, and I was also an executive boss of a criminal organization! So, it fits the job description, does it not? Past waters for me, though.
no subject
At my age? What was that, five years ago? [You're not that old, old man.] If you were the boss, did you kill them yourself, or did you order other people to do it?
no subject
(Youngest Executive In Port Mafia History, Osamu Dazai.)
It depended on the job. Besides, I did not arrive into it as a Boss.
no subject
[He seems willing enough to answer all of these questions, unless this is the point? Maybe she's not supposed to be able to tell which ones he doesn't want to answer? She's still just watching his face carefully, trying to guess what she's looking for.]
no subject
(ding. ding ding ding. an answer, that answers nothing at the end of the day.)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)