(he laughs a little, just because, well. he has that effect on people. it's called being a bastard who will poke things out. he's sure fyodor, being so similar, could see through her as well.)
First thing, you need to learn to control your face. Most people are not this observant, but if you space out while you think, that is telling, you see?
You just need to be aware of it first. It's a multitasking mission! Keep talking, stall, whatever, but don't stare into the space, you're giving out all the answers silently.
You think with your face, too. Try not to react with your face to your thoughts. That should suffice, but, you'll need practice, yes? So, go ahead, I'll bring up something and I'll snap my fingers every time I see something.
(and both his drinks are gone, he realizes. awful, awful, and he looks like he's dying from the sheer realization.)
So, dying, huh? I can't help to be jealous, Kotone-chan.
[She makes another face at his theatrics, setting aside here own empty coffee cup to instead cross one arm over her chest, bring the other to her lips in thought as if making a mental note. It's hard to figure out what's a natural reaction that other people do, and what is the kind of tell that he's looking out for...
Her expression stills when he asks about if her friends know, and she doesn't realize as her smile fades away into something more neutral, almost defensive.]
How would you respond to something you didn't want to answer, then?
[She's leaning in a little now, because that's important, especially if somehow any of this gets back to Shinjiro. She can't have him worrying about her, not when he seems to be doing so much better.]
Why don't you try and ask me something I might not want to answer? Ah, but keep in mind, if you just imitate me, it'll be weird. I'm naturally very over-the-top, it'll sound like a maniac episode for you.
(DAZAI...
she doesn't have to worry, however. it benefits him nothing to tell anyone and betray her trust.)
(ah, kotone, sweetheart. he has no trouble answering that one, but it will mesh and mix later with something he definitely does not want to touch.)
Ah, I was not a great person at your age, and I was also an executive boss of a criminal organization! So, it fits the job description, does it not? Past waters for me, though.
[Hm, she isn't sure she actually wanted the confirmation, but they're walking down this road now, so nothing for it but to continue.]
At my age? What was that, five years ago? [You're not that old, old man.] If you were the boss, did you kill them yourself, or did you order other people to do it?
Why did you join a criminal organization in the first place? Did you have any other choice?
[He seems willing enough to answer all of these questions, unless this is the point? Maybe she's not supposed to be able to tell which ones he doesn't want to answer? She's still just watching his face carefully, trying to guess what she's looking for.]
A little bit of fate, a little bit of me not managing to kill myself when I wanted to, and a little bit of being in the right place at the right time! There are always other choices, aren't there?
(ding. ding ding ding. an answer, that answers nothing at the end of the day.)
That's a way, surely, but also, it isn't lying. I gave you an answer, didn't I? It just didn't really answer it, just enough. That's the end of today's class!
(why is it that he keeps teaching teenagers shady shit...)
I should start heading home. Chuuya's been... Ah, honestly, unimaginably much more unbearable, so I'm gonna have to go distract him. Do you have a dog ball or something? Maybe I can teach him fetch.
[She snorts a laugh. Honestly after all that, she still doesn't know how to think of Dazai. He'd been so upfront about murdering people, leading a crime organization, but... he doesn't seem like a bad person. At least, not to her. Maybe it's just her "bad person" meter is irrevocably broken.]
Take him for a nice long walk and let him run around to tire him out, I guess.
He's exactly like a dog. A tiny, angry, shaky, mafioso chihuahua. I think I can hide some bottles of wine and let him sniff it around in eternal hate and fury, that might do it.
(he's not great, he really isn't, but there's intent. being better, being a savior, protecting rather than hurting. he tries, so, so, so very hard.)
[She holds up one finger in a, "wait a moment," gesture and scoots up from the table. She'd assumed Dazai would pay for her coffee, but she heads back up to the counter to point at one of the small pastry cases to purchase two of them to go in separate bags. One's for her, and when she comes back, she hands the other one to Dazai along with another handful of coins for him to get his own if he wants. Otherwise, it just covers the cost of her coffee.]
Well, maybe he'll like a snack. It's what we'd always do for Koro-chan before taking him on a walk. [She's just leaning into comparing Chuuya to a dog because it's funny...] I'll see you around, Dazai-san!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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(he laughs a little, just because, well. he has that effect on people. it's called being a bastard who will poke things out. he's sure fyodor, being so similar, could see through her as well.)
First thing, you need to learn to control your face. Most people are not this observant, but if you space out while you think, that is telling, you see?
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[That sounds... hard. It's not like she does it on purpose, but it isn't like she knows what else to do with her face when she's thinking.]
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(why is he helping her? secret.)
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[She squints at him, not sure how that's supposed to help. It's hard to do all that stuff and think at the same time!!]
I can try that. Any other advice?
cw suicide talk
(and both his drinks are gone, he realizes. awful, awful, and he looks like he's dying from the sheer realization.)
So, dying, huh? I can't help to be jealous, Kotone-chan.
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That's not the kind of thing anyone should be jealous of, Dazai-san. Lots of people want to live and don't have a choice.
[Just because she had decided not to count herself among their number-! Then a pause as she realizes,]
Oh. Was I not supposed to react at all? That feels more unnatural.
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Some of us don't, and can't leave this plane of existence! Be nicer to us, suicidal incompetents, and unable to be murdered fellows!!!!
(dramatic, the back of the hand on his forehead as he tilts his head backward. theatrics, theatrics.)
Nope, you had a great response, that's the kind of thing people usually say. Keep telling me, why are you dying, again? Do your friends know?
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Her expression stills when he asks about if her friends know, and she doesn't realize as her smile fades away into something more neutral, almost defensive.]
Why does that matter?
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That's a 'no', then?
(and with a finger, he points at her mouth.)
It doesn't to me, not really. Do not get defensive, you answered my question.
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[She's leaning in a little now, because that's important, especially if somehow any of this gets back to Shinjiro. She can't have him worrying about her, not when he seems to be doing so much better.]
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(DAZAI...
she doesn't have to worry, however. it benefits him nothing to tell anyone and betray her trust.)
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[She still doesn't know if she really believes him or not, but she knows he won't want to answer.]
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Ah, I was not a great person at your age, and I was also an executive boss of a criminal organization! So, it fits the job description, does it not? Past waters for me, though.
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At my age? What was that, five years ago? [You're not that old, old man.] If you were the boss, did you kill them yourself, or did you order other people to do it?
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(Youngest Executive In Port Mafia History, Osamu Dazai.)
It depended on the job. Besides, I did not arrive into it as a Boss.
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[He seems willing enough to answer all of these questions, unless this is the point? Maybe she's not supposed to be able to tell which ones he doesn't want to answer? She's still just watching his face carefully, trying to guess what she's looking for.]
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(ding. ding ding ding. an answer, that answers nothing at the end of the day.)
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You shock people by telling them about wanting to kill yourself so they don't notice you haven't given a real answer.
[That's the difference. She doesn't distract well enough.]
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(look at him, taking a bow!)
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[It's not that she's ungrateful, but it isn't exactly the most conventional thing to learn, either.]
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(why is it that he keeps teaching teenagers shady shit...)
I should start heading home. Chuuya's been... Ah, honestly, unimaginably much more unbearable, so I'm gonna have to go distract him. Do you have a dog ball or something? Maybe I can teach him fetch.
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Take him for a nice long walk and let him run around to tire him out, I guess.
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(he's not great, he really isn't, but there's intent. being better, being a savior, protecting rather than hurting. he tries, so, so, so very hard.)
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[She holds up one finger in a, "wait a moment," gesture and scoots up from the table. She'd assumed Dazai would pay for her coffee, but she heads back up to the counter to point at one of the small pastry cases to purchase two of them to go in separate bags. One's for her, and when she comes back, she hands the other one to Dazai along with another handful of coins for him to get his own if he wants. Otherwise, it just covers the cost of her coffee.]
Well, maybe he'll like a snack. It's what we'd always do for Koro-chan before taking him on a walk. [She's just leaning into comparing Chuuya to a dog because it's funny...] I'll see you around, Dazai-san!