Hehehehe. Five years is a lot! Like a lot!!! Ah, I'm having trouble breathing-- anything else? We can have Chuuya take a look at your hair while I do your nails... And then you can do Chuuya's hair, and my hair is perfect as is!
(no, it isn't...
at her age, he was already big time slut, so he's just being a hypocrite for the sake of laughter. he would totally give her a very honest The Talk, unfortunately or fortunately to her. man's got experience.
and at the words, he shrugs, palms up like he's innocent.)
If they were Port Mafia, my success rate increased, for sure. His secretary fell for that one.
Do you want me to comment with what you were doing at her age?
[Deadpan, utterly deadpan as he walks off to find a brush before quickly returning. Because He Knows. He has had to drag Dazai's ass out of more love hotels than--
What.]
Just how many times did you sleep with my secretary, bastard?!
[She scoots back away from the table, shaking her head at them both as her shoulders shake with residual laughter. She'll take her wine with her, though! She's still working on the single glass because she's a responsible kid and doesn't know how quickly is Too Quickly to drink it.]
I really don't need the details. I just wanted to know if lines like that actually worked!
(he was about to say that, yeah, a lotta times, yes, they do, it's usually the double suicide ones that fail, but then she says she'll brush his hair, and he hides completely in his burrito cave.)
How silly he looks right now is at least helping with that urge, somewhat. Kotone's request draws a grin to his lips.] Oh come on, you need to brush your hair more anyway. Who'd you rather do it, me or Kotone-chan?
[Oh, tea. She takes another drink from her wine glass and sets it aside to start pulling her silver XXII hair pins out of her hair take it out of its ponytail. Her hair isn't the longest, only coming down to just about her shoulders when it's undone, but it's thick and well-maintained, at least the best she can do with Aldrip supplies.]
Come out, Dazai-san. It's basically pets.
[But by all means, keep talking about this business with the secretary. This is very funny.]
And you specifically had to fuck my secretary to do it, huh?
[Sourly said.
But Dazai's protests get a mocking laugh out of Chuuya.] If you don't brush your hair regularly, it can lead to hair loss, you know? All those knots matted together stress the hair out if you just leave 'em.
[Hmm... meanwhile Kotone is taking notes. Secretaries are the heart of an organization? Hopefully that's not information she'll ever need, but it's good to know in case it ever comes up! One more fact for the little mental notebook (that will be transcribed into the real notebook later, maybe).
Instead she looks at Chuuya, jaw dropping a little,] Is that really true? [Whether it's true or not, she plays along, wiggling her fingers a little.] You can't lose your hair, Dazai-san! I'll finger-comb the knots out, okay?
(under the blankets, if one pays enough attention, they can hear the haunting, bone-chilling whine of dazai osamu, the toddler:
'for your information i fucked all the secretaries youre not that great ok i should have just ghosted and then you would have nowhere to go because they'd knock on your door--')
Ah? See, Chuuya? You need to spend more time with Koto-chan. She's cute. Perhaps you will finally learn your manners.
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(no, it isn't...
at her age, he was already big time slut, so he's just being a hypocrite for the sake of laughter. he would totally give her a very honest The Talk, unfortunately or fortunately to her. man's got experience.
and at the words, he shrugs, palms up like he's innocent.)
If they were Port Mafia, my success rate increased, for sure. His secretary fell for that one.
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[Deadpan, utterly deadpan as he walks off to find a brush before quickly returning. Because He Knows. He has had to drag Dazai's ass out of more love hotels than--
What.]
Just how many times did you sleep with my secretary, bastard?!
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I really don't need the details. I just wanted to know if lines like that actually worked!
[Also-]
At least let me brush your hair, okay, Dazai-san?
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(he was about to say that, yeah, a lotta times, yes, they do, it's usually the double suicide ones that fail, but then she says she'll brush his hair, and he hides completely in his burrito cave.)
No!!!
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[Stay. Calm. Do not strangle Dazai.
How silly he looks right now is at least helping with that urge, somewhat. Kotone's request draws a grin to his lips.] Oh come on, you need to brush your hair more anyway. Who'd you rather do it, me or Kotone-chan?
[The answer is obvious.]
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Come out, Dazai-san. It's basically pets.
[But by all means, keep talking about this business with the secretary. This is very funny.]
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(it comes from the dazai-shaped ghost at the table. so did he fuck for gossip? KINDA, YEAH, SORTA, BUT YEAH? some of us have many interests.
even at kotone's attempt to convince him, he won't budge, hiding even further.)
No hair brushing. Petting ok. Don't rip off my scalp!!! My hair has many knots!! If you brush it, it poofs!! No brushing. Brush Chuuya's.
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[Sourly said.
But Dazai's protests get a mocking laugh out of Chuuya.] If you don't brush your hair regularly, it can lead to hair loss, you know? All those knots matted together stress the hair out if you just leave 'em.
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Instead she looks at Chuuya, jaw dropping a little,] Is that really true? [Whether it's true or not, she plays along, wiggling her fingers a little.] You can't lose your hair, Dazai-san! I'll finger-comb the knots out, okay?
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'for your information i fucked all the secretaries youre not that great ok i should have just ghosted and then you would have nowhere to go because they'd knock on your door--')
Ah? See, Chuuya? You need to spend more time with Koto-chan. She's cute. Perhaps you will finally learn your manners.
(bitch seriously)