[She's touched, and the delight is clear in her eyes, even if it's hidden behind a little bit of her usual playfulness.]
Then I'll make one for you, too. What do boys like...?
[Said thoughtfully to herself as she grabs a pencil and taps it against the paper a few times to give Ken the privacy to work on his own pattern without the pressure of her watching.]
[Oh, there were a lot of things he could say. He wanted to say a lot of boys around his age love to watch anime, read manga, and play video games. And he knew it was normal and yet, his pride was getting the better of him!!]
...Sports. For me, it would be soccer so you could make that? But I'm happy with anything.
[She narrows her eyes a little bit in consideration as she studies her paper and draws a loose outline of a soccer ball. They'd talked about different manga before, but maybe he doesn't like them anymore? Or he's too embarrassed to admit it.]
Hey-hey, you should start a soccer club. Or like, a sports club. I bet you're not the only one who likes playing sports. Scott and Akira would probably join in if I asked!
[Scott doesn't strike her as an athlete, more like the kid who pretended he was too cool for school, but if she asks, well... it would probably be good for him to have a hobby! And Akira seems like the type to try anything once.]
[Shifting his weight a little, he was glad that she didn't bring anything he considered embarrassing up. With a sigh of relief, he was just happy to move forward.]
You really think so? I never really made a club myself and I'm not even sure if we have enough to make two teams...
[Then there was a long pause or two.]
...And I'm not sure if I have what it takes to be a leader too.
Even if it's just one team, you can still practice and have fun.
[She hums quietly and keeps her attention on her drawing, adding a few more simple lines to represent the individual patches of the soccer ball. He's grown up a lot, but he still needs to work on that confidence, huh...?]
What do you think it takes to be a leader? [she asks, glancing up at him with a smile and a quirked eyebrow.]
[As much as he wanted to say that she should tell him, he knew better. There was no way that she could give him an answer. Instead, he got some paper before deciding to draw out the flower to figure out what colors he should make.
He was used to following someone's orders rather than leading people!]
...I guess someone who knows how to make the right decisions and has a lot of confidence. It seems that they always know what they're doing and tries their best to make everyone feel included?
[Of course, he was describing her more than anything.]
[Ken... he's such a sweet kid. She smiles down at her paper.]
I bet you could do it if you wanted to.
[Her design is pretty simple, but she adds a few more notes to block off different colors. A black and white soccer ball would be fun, but maybe it would be more fun if it were more colorful? More unique, anyway!
But she does truly believe that Ken could be a leader if he wanted to. Hell, Mitsuru made her the leader, and all Kotone had done was not be Junpei.]
You think so? I think you put too much faith in me, all I do is follow you or Kirjiro-san. If that doesn't work, I usually try my best to follow what the others tell me.
[Admittedly, he really didn't want to always be on standby all the time. He really wanted to get out there and do something with the other teammates. But now that he decided against that? Well....
As he finally sketched out the pattern for the flower, he gave a nod to himself. A simple flower with yellow petals and a pink center. That should be good enough, right?]
[She hums. It's not that she doesn't understand his point, but, well... has he considered just not doing that? Just doing his own thing? But that seems like one of those things that's easier said than done.]
You won't know if you don't try! [she says simply, grabbing a pair of scissors and starting to cut out her pattern.] I think it's okay to get inspiration from other people, but... [A shrug!] The only one who really knows what you're really capable of in the end is you, right?
[In return, all Ken could do was just stare at her. He didn't know why she felt the need to address this but...]
You really are pushing me to be a leader, aren't you? But you are right, the only one who knows what I can do is myself. I just...never really thought about it.
[However, if that is something she really wants him to do?]
[And he wasn't surprised by her answer. All he could do was give a sigh as he started cutting up the pieces of fabric that he wanted. Let's see...it should be this much, right?
As he debated to himself on how much to use, he paused for a moment.]
You really are telling me to relive my childhood, aren't you?
[Which....wasn't too different from what he originally wanted to do. However, it's just going to be tough being in 'prison'.]
[She gives him another smile and a nod. Yeah. Him more than most, she thinks.]
You've been thinking about what we'd all want from you, right? I dunno about everyone else, but the thing that'd make me happiest is seeing you find what you wanna do.
I don't really know what I want to do as I'm still trying to figure that out for myself. But I know it'll take some time as I want to learn a lot of things out....
[She giggles a little. Yeah, that sounds like Junpei alright.]
He'll figure it out! Or he'll have fun doing a lot of different things until he does.
[If there's anything she's learned, there's no point planning things too far into the future, because everything can change in an instant. She smiles a little wistfully down at her pieces of soccer ball before reaching for her needle and thread.]
It's been a little while since you've gotten stuck here. Do you miss them...? The other guys from SEES, I mean.
[They're all adults now from Ken's perspective, aren't they?]
[Perhaps it was a bad idea to bring up the others. As he mumbled with the pieces of the petals, he narrowed his eyes hoping that the string would go through the needle. How do people do this on a daily basis? He doesn't know....]
...Sometimes, I do. It makes me wonder what they are doing right now and how long it take for them to notice that I'm gone.
[Especially when he already knew that they would go through the ends of the Earth to find him too.]
Put the string in your mouth! Like this. [She demonstrates with her own, twisting the end of the thread to make it a little easier to stick through the eye of a needle. It's maybe not the most sanitary thing but... eh.
But yeah, that's... something to worry about for Ken, isn't it. For her and Shinji, the idea of people noticing that they were gone or not hadn't really come up. Like, for sure no one would notice she was gone. But also-]
Mm, the way Dazai-san talked about it, time is kind of weird. It sounds like we're not actually gone? Not in a way anybody can notice. Fyodor-san was gone for a couple months, and when he came back, he couldn't remember anything from here. It was like his life just kept going from where he left off, I think.
[As he watched, he couldn't help but chuckle. He didn't mean to but he couldn't help it. With a smile, he tried his best to copy her and tried to lick the ends of the string. As he did so, he narrowed his eyes in hopes of trying to get the string through the hole once more.]
...What do you mean not in a way anybody can notice? You make it sound like time just goes on here but it doesn't change back home.
[Which...he didn't know how to feel about that. Knowing that time can freeze itself while they were here just seem so...strange.]
[That says a lot by itself, doesn't it? That she's still alive. Anyway, her smile doesn't falter as she focuses her attention on her sewing. Maybe she'll use some differently-colored thread...? No, black thread will really pop against all the other colors.]
I don't get how a lot of it works.
[She got used to getting little hints from Theo or Igor or Pharos or Ryoji, but here...? Nothing.]
[With that, he gave a pause. Not knowing what to say or do, he wondered if he should have said that or not. As he wondered to himself, all he could do was just continue to stare at the needle and then back at her.]
...Which is frustrating when all we can do is sit down and wait.
[Especially when he was usually on the sidelines. When everyone else was doing their jobs as the shadow operatives, he just waited until something just...happened.]
[She flashes a smile across at him. There's no point being sad or complaining, especially not to Ken. He already had to go through so much; she doesn't want to burden him with her problems.]
Things can be tough, but as long as we do our best every day, I think that will mean something.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Then I'll make one for you, too. What do boys like...?
[Said thoughtfully to herself as she grabs a pencil and taps it against the paper a few times to give Ken the privacy to work on his own pattern without the pressure of her watching.]
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...Sports. For me, it would be soccer so you could make that? But I'm happy with anything.
[He'll go with that.]
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[She narrows her eyes a little bit in consideration as she studies her paper and draws a loose outline of a soccer ball. They'd talked about different manga before, but maybe he doesn't like them anymore? Or he's too embarrassed to admit it.]
Hey-hey, you should start a soccer club. Or like, a sports club. I bet you're not the only one who likes playing sports. Scott and Akira would probably join in if I asked!
[Scott doesn't strike her as an athlete, more like the kid who pretended he was too cool for school, but if she asks, well... it would probably be good for him to have a hobby! And Akira seems like the type to try anything once.]
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You really think so? I never really made a club myself and I'm not even sure if we have enough to make two teams...
[Then there was a long pause or two.]
...And I'm not sure if I have what it takes to be a leader too.
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[She hums quietly and keeps her attention on her drawing, adding a few more simple lines to represent the individual patches of the soccer ball. He's grown up a lot, but he still needs to work on that confidence, huh...?]
What do you think it takes to be a leader? [she asks, glancing up at him with a smile and a quirked eyebrow.]
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He was used to following someone's orders rather than leading people!]
...I guess someone who knows how to make the right decisions and has a lot of confidence. It seems that they always know what they're doing and tries their best to make everyone feel included?
[Of course, he was describing her more than anything.]
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I bet you could do it if you wanted to.
[Her design is pretty simple, but she adds a few more notes to block off different colors. A black and white soccer ball would be fun, but maybe it would be more fun if it were more colorful? More unique, anyway!
But she does truly believe that Ken could be a leader if he wanted to. Hell, Mitsuru made her the leader, and all Kotone had done was not be Junpei.]
I'll help out, if you want!
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[Admittedly, he really didn't want to always be on standby all the time. He really wanted to get out there and do something with the other teammates. But now that he decided against that? Well....
As he finally sketched out the pattern for the flower, he gave a nod to himself. A simple flower with yellow petals and a pink center. That should be good enough, right?]
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You won't know if you don't try! [she says simply, grabbing a pair of scissors and starting to cut out her pattern.] I think it's okay to get inspiration from other people, but... [A shrug!] The only one who really knows what you're really capable of in the end is you, right?
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You really are pushing me to be a leader, aren't you? But you are right, the only one who knows what I can do is myself. I just...never really thought about it.
[However, if that is something she really wants him to do?]
...Although, I'll give it a try and see.
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[She laughs and gets up to start picking out which fabric she wants to use, humming a little to herself.]
Try being a leader. If you don't like it, do something else! Try lots of new things!
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As he debated to himself on how much to use, he paused for a moment.]
You really are telling me to relive my childhood, aren't you?
[Which....wasn't too different from what he originally wanted to do. However, it's just going to be tough being in 'prison'.]
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As long as you're enjoying yourself. That's the most important thing.
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...I guess I never really had the chance to until now, didn't I? How funny is that?
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You've been thinking about what we'd all want from you, right? I dunno about everyone else, but the thing that'd make me happiest is seeing you find what you wanna do.
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[He said with a sigh.]
I don't really know what I want to do as I'm still trying to figure that out for myself. But I know it'll take some time as I want to learn a lot of things out....
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[Kicking her feet idly under the desk, she keeps working on assembling the pieces she'll need to stitch together a soccer ball.]
Dazai-san says that's pretty normal, though.
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...I heard from Junpei-san and Yukari-san that is normal too. They said that it took them a while to realize what they wanted to do.
[Pause]
And I think Junpei-san doesn't even know what he wants to do yet.
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He'll figure it out! Or he'll have fun doing a lot of different things until he does.
[If there's anything she's learned, there's no point planning things too far into the future, because everything can change in an instant. She smiles a little wistfully down at her pieces of soccer ball before reaching for her needle and thread.]
It's been a little while since you've gotten stuck here. Do you miss them...? The other guys from SEES, I mean.
[They're all adults now from Ken's perspective, aren't they?]
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...Sometimes, I do. It makes me wonder what they are doing right now and how long it take for them to notice that I'm gone.
[Especially when he already knew that they would go through the ends of the Earth to find him too.]
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But yeah, that's... something to worry about for Ken, isn't it. For her and Shinji, the idea of people noticing that they were gone or not hadn't really come up. Like, for sure no one would notice she was gone. But also-]
Mm, the way Dazai-san talked about it, time is kind of weird. It sounds like we're not actually gone? Not in a way anybody can notice. Fyodor-san was gone for a couple months, and when he came back, he couldn't remember anything from here. It was like his life just kept going from where he left off, I think.
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...What do you mean not in a way anybody can notice? You make it sound like time just goes on here but it doesn't change back home.
[Which...he didn't know how to feel about that. Knowing that time can freeze itself while they were here just seem so...strange.]
Can the people here really do that?
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[That says a lot by itself, doesn't it? That she's still alive. Anyway, her smile doesn't falter as she focuses her attention on her sewing. Maybe she'll use some differently-colored thread...? No, black thread will really pop against all the other colors.]
I don't get how a lot of it works.
[She got used to getting little hints from Theo or Igor or Pharos or Ryoji, but here...? Nothing.]
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...Which is frustrating when all we can do is sit down and wait.
[Especially when he was usually on the sidelines. When everyone else was doing their jobs as the shadow operatives, he just waited until something just...happened.]
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[She flashes a smile across at him. There's no point being sad or complaining, especially not to Ken. He already had to go through so much; she doesn't want to burden him with her problems.]
Things can be tough, but as long as we do our best every day, I think that will mean something.
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