Depression isn't sadness, Koto-chan. It's numbness, a feeling of hopelessness, a bottomless pit-- sadness comes in different forms, after all. A loneliness that never ends? Things like these, they're not sadness perse, they just are.
(HONESTY HOURS GOING SOMEWHERE.
he smiles, however, through this explanation, a sigh that doesn't sound much like exhaustion. he recognizes parts of himself when kotone looks at him, sees them reflected, adapted to her life - his own had been a bloodshed. her own survival had another color.)
No one is exactly the same, after all! Ah, well. You deal with it how you deal with it.
[Like, what is she supposed to say to that? She just blinks at him, brows furrowed a little as she turns it over in her mind. It still doesn't sound completely right, like... it doesn't sound wrong, but...]
[She absolutely won't be doing that. Once again, she's lost track of what expression she's supposed to make, so she simply doesn't make one at all as she stares down at her hands in her lap.]
...Is this something everyone knows but me, you think?
[Will they like her less? Trust her less? Worry about her more?]
[She huffs quietly and closes her eyes, allowing herself to relax against him.]
I'll try. I'm hanging out with you, after all.
[It's a joke, kind of. Going out and breaking people's fingers for information really isn't her thing, so her standards for "being good" are probably different from Dazai's, anyway. But it matters that he's thinking of her, she thinks.]
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(HONESTY HOURS GOING SOMEWHERE.
he smiles, however, through this explanation, a sigh that doesn't sound much like exhaustion. he recognizes parts of himself when kotone looks at him, sees them reflected, adapted to her life - his own had been a bloodshed. her own survival had another color.)
No one is exactly the same, after all! Ah, well. You deal with it how you deal with it.
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[Like, what is she supposed to say to that? She just blinks at him, brows furrowed a little as she turns it over in her mind. It still doesn't sound completely right, like... it doesn't sound wrong, but...]
...I thought that was just normal.
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(seen how - he is terribly depressed and suicidal.)
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[She absolutely won't be doing that. Once again, she's lost track of what expression she's supposed to make, so she simply doesn't make one at all as she stares down at her hands in her lap.]
...Is this something everyone knows but me, you think?
[Will they like her less? Trust her less? Worry about her more?]
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I don't know? I'm myself, after all, Koto-chan. I just have an eye for things. I suppose that's why I have so many kiddos like yourself?
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[She stares at her hands a little longer, then just slumps sideways to rest her head against his shoulder.]
I know you said it's hard to be good, but... thanks, Dazai-san. For everything.
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(his hand comes to pet her, arm around her shoulders, comfortable and close.)
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I'll try. I'm hanging out with you, after all.
[It's a joke, kind of. Going out and breaking people's fingers for information really isn't her thing, so her standards for "being good" are probably different from Dazai's, anyway. But it matters that he's thinking of her, she thinks.]