[Her hand closes against her blouse, and her lips thin into a line as she shakes her head. She doesn't answer immediately, though; she's trying to think about how to put it without it sounding too melodramatic.
There's really only one thing it boils down to.]
When I make mistakes, people get killed, [she says softly, glancing up at him with the barest of smiles.] I know it's not my fault, I don't know what I could have changed about any of it, but... I have to keep trying not to make them, so nobody else suffers.
[If she'd been a better leader, maybe she could have stopped Ken from trying to kill Shinji. If she'd been a better leader, maybe she would have figured out Ikutsuki's plan. If she'd been a better leader, maybe she could have figured out how to stop Ryoji before it was too late. If, if, if. She has a lot of what-ifs she tries not to think about too much.
So she doesn't force herself to brighten her smile for Dazai's sake, instead just keeping that barest quirk of lips.] I know you mean small mistakes, though. Unimportant ones. Maybe I'll try that.
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There's really only one thing it boils down to.]
When I make mistakes, people get killed, [she says softly, glancing up at him with the barest of smiles.] I know it's not my fault, I don't know what I could have changed about any of it, but... I have to keep trying not to make them, so nobody else suffers.
[If she'd been a better leader, maybe she could have stopped Ken from trying to kill Shinji. If she'd been a better leader, maybe she would have figured out Ikutsuki's plan. If she'd been a better leader, maybe she could have figured out how to stop Ryoji before it was too late. If, if, if. She has a lot of what-ifs she tries not to think about too much.
So she doesn't force herself to brighten her smile for Dazai's sake, instead just keeping that barest quirk of lips.] I know you mean small mistakes, though. Unimportant ones. Maybe I'll try that.