I think you're walking towards your death, but bottling up feelings about it is how you're dealing with it. Resigned, but not yet comfortable.

(he paid attention. no outward anger or disbelief onto dazai's own wishes, nodding as such is her own fate, but moving things away from her thoughts and feelings so quickly - she has not asked once why he wants to die.

isn't that intriguing?)

Whether this place is a curse or a blessing - I don't believe in good or evil. It can be both, neither, it's up to the frame you want to set around this world.